[zhaek]

How do you feel when people criticize your work or something you do?

Whenever someone tells me that something I have done is not good enough it makes me feel like I am not good enough.

Maybe its just the mindset I'm in at the moment, because I'm feeling really alone and isolated, and I don't have anyone I really trust enough anymore.

 

[Solitude315]

I'm sorry that you're in that position; I know how it feels. It depends on what's being criticized and whether or not it's constructive. If it's constructive, usually, I'm fine taking it as I know they're trying to help me. When it's not constructive, I try not to get upset, but sometimes it does hurt if it's something I worked hard on. Just remember that they're only trying to help you if it's constructive, and if it's not, then why even bother listening to their opinions or let them get to you?

 

[Pier 56]

How do you feel when people criticize your work or something you do?

Whenever someone tells me that something I have done is not good enough it makes me feel like I am not good enough.

Maybe its just the mindset I'm in at the moment, because I'm feeling really alone and isolated, and I don't have anyone I really trust enough anymore.

This is a normal INFJ reaction due to being Introverted and having Fe.

I personally have a bad reaction to it.
I don't stick my neck out unless I'm sure.
Meaning that: if I was wrong, I wouldn't be doing it in the first place.

Also, Ne's tend to criticize Ni because we'll act on Ni without having any physical proof to back it up with.

 

[zhaek]

Thanks @Solitude315.
Your right and I do like constructive criticism because you have something to work on and improve, i guess it just upset me a little.

 

[jennandtonic]

I do tend to feel like it's personal at first and think it's me that they're criticizing.

I try to get over that feeling though. Mostly I try to remove myself from the situation to think about it and get perspective and see it from their point of view. If it's not personal, and if it's something that I am indeed doing wrong, I come up with action items to fix it, usually by outlining it in a list or by making a plan of action. It does really help if it's constructive criticism, because I can work with that.

I think I make the lists/plan of action because it makes the criticism easier to handle and not dwell on when I have a way to improve myself (if it's needed), and then if it's not really due to my work because the criticism was unwarranted, I at least have at least a plan for how to deal with this person in the future.

If it's personal, this is a little more tricky; sometimes when it's personal, a person is just dumping all over you because they don't like you for whatever reason; this may or may not be something you can work on. This has not happened to me more than once, and I ended up cutting off the friendship because it was so unhealthy for both of us.

 

[strafen]

It depends on what is being criticized. If my intuition tells me I am doing fine I will simply ignore them. If it is constructive criticism and I find his logic appealing I will proceed to try to change so called problem.

Personal attacks are a whole different story :|

 

[GoodOldDreamer]

Considering our primary interaction with the world is through Fe, it's not really surprising that the view is of a personal one. How we feel is how we are affected by others. How we percieve (Ni) and what we think (Ti) are internalized. We don't seek validation from others for those, nor do we bother to usually accept it when it's given anyway. P

 

[Alaya]

I'd just say that criticism doesn't usually bother me, I sort of relish in it. When I do something I'm aware that it will never be perfect, and that there will always be room for improvement. Of course, I'm talking about constructive criticism, if someone just criticizes my work but doesn't give any insight as to how I could make it better, I don't take it as seriously.

 

[Killbain]

I usually push a potato up the muffler of their car. They are about 2 or 3 miles away when the engine conks out and it takes them days to find it!

Ha! I laugh at your criticism!!

 

[uniquegirl]

I have learned not to take anything really personally. I have worked with a couple of really difficult people. The first was a professor in grad school that I worked for. Nothing anyone ever did for him was good enough. He would constantly tell students (including me) that their work sucked (yes would use that language) and blame them if they didn't do the work right when he didn't explain very well what he wanted. He gave me my first and only bad job evaluation calling me incompetent. When I first worked for him, I took it personally but soon realized it wasn't me. He was an extreme perfectionist who didn't like anything. The secretary of the department asked how I even worked for him. I told her that when I had to walk into his office to talk to him about something I just expected to be called dumb. I just prepared myself for hearing those words so it wouldn't be such a shocker and not be so devastating. If he was at all happy about something, I took it like winning a noble peace prize because he only gave like 2 compliments a semester.

The other was a former coworker of mine. She would tell me one thing during my training and then a few months later after I did the task a while and never commented that I did it wrong, would all of a sudden tell me I was doing it wrong and make me look extremely incompetent to my boss. I would tell her that was not what I was told in my training and she would call me a liar. I got to the point where I would start documenting everything I was being told. When she would pull on it on me again, I would flash out my piece of paper showing what she told me on what date. That pretty much stopped the two-facing.

Even though I had a couple of really bad people I worked with, most people are not that overly-critical, and they don't mean it against you personally. Everyone needs a little criticism in order to become better employees and better people. Take it as a growing opportunity

 

[Rather Unusual]

If its constructive or fair I can deal with it and learn from it, but I'll still feel a little disheartened or disappointed. It's frustrating to think that others may not see what I see.

 

[Enormous Hatred]

I don't really feel one way or the other on a conscious level. Obviously, it's natural to feel a bit defensive considering you'll be privy to all the little reasons why your work is good and the effort you put into it.

Sometimes what happens is I'll argue with the person about it and they'll assume I'm being overly defensive or trying to make them see why they're wrong. In reality, I'm probing their criticism to further troubleshoot my work. The thought process is something like "They bring up an interesting point. I will now try to figure out how they came to this idea to see if it's truly relevant." Oftentimes the other person will end up feeling like "Why did he ask me for my opinion if he was just going to argue with it?" which is unfortunate.

I have other friends who do this, so I know it can be somewhat maddening when you feel like your point of view is under a microscope; luckily my experience on both ends has helped me to somewhat lessen the negative impact.