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Discussion Starter #1
maybe this is an introvert thing.... but... i started ignoring this girl in my program that wanted to be my friend.. she started very suddenly being nice to me, wanting to be my friend, suddenly wanting to do this and this with me.... reminding me that she wants to talk to me and get to know me. i tend to be suspicious of this kind of behavior... seems like she wants something from me..

i know before i approach someone, i usually observe them for a bit. but even when we do become friends, i don't suddenly start acting differently and wanting to do everything together... i still have a transition phase where i am getting to know them... and i am still pretty much myself... i may act more goofy around people im more comfortable with... but overall im still pretty same

but with her, it's weird. ive "known" her for two months and suddenly she's being SO nice, friendly and wanting to get to know me. when people are suddenly like this, i automatically tend to guard myself. If she was extremely extroverted or showered me with Fe from the beginning, i think i would be okay with it... but i just withdraw automatically because she suddenly just IMPOSED herself on me..... ikept running into her on campus and she kept asking me for times to get to know me...... i told her i'll let her know if time comes up, but i'm too busy to go for a dinner... but she kept being persistent... and after a while... i realized i started ignoring her subconsciously... if that even makes sense... basically if i saw her, i internally withdrew, protecting myself, so whatever she does/says, i don't let it register within/give an outward response..... i think this person is another reason i am in hermit mode.... i feel generally protective of myself because i feel like i'm being preyed upon... do any of you guys relate to this?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I didn't say you were interested in her, now did I?

And she may be using her current boyfriend as a beard (for those of you familiar with the Seinfeld terminology).
This is a planted seed of thought that i wish hadn't been planted..
Fe is cool.

Will you be my friend, curious0160?
at least your direct.

her: can we schedule a time to get to know each other?
me: uh... :unsure: no?

The point that it crosses a moral point for some people. depending on the person.
feel free to ignore ENTPepreneur on this thread. he stirs up a lot of beef on the istj forum too.
 

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This is a planted seed of thought that i wish hadn't been planted...
Happy to have been the farmer of your ill-fortune. ;)

Have you suggested that you may not be comfortable with the idea of getting together like that? Has she even been made aware of your point in this situation?

You still have yet to provide me with anything that tells me she doesn't deserve a chance, at least.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
"You still have yet to provide me with anything that tells me she doesn't deserve a chance, at least."

^ So are you saying that you would give anyone a chance to be your friend?

It's more about conservation of my energy actually. I have a few people I like to save up my energy for. After work and school (a lot of people interaction), I'm drained and I would choose to do the following instead of having a scheduled conversation with a stranger: 1) have my personal time to relax from the day, 2) talk to my friends on chat or phone, 3) paint. If i randomly talk with a stranger at the store or somewhere public, i'm cool with that. but i dont really feel like going out of my way to schedule a lunch with someone i don't really know.

If she were blunt and said "i think we have similarities, and i'd like to hang out sometime if u want , let's be friends" i'd be cool with that but id put her on hold until i finish my work/stressful stuff. but she's not really saying what she wants from me " i just want to know you."

..
 

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"You still have yet to provide me with anything that tells me she doesn't deserve a chance, at least."

^ So are you saying that you would give anyone a chance to be your friend?

It's more about conservation of my energy actually. I have a few people I like to save up my energy for. After work and school (a lot of people interaction), I'm drained and I would choose to do the following instead of having a scheduled conversation with a stranger: 1) have my personal time to relax from the day, 2) talk to my friends on chat or phone, 3) paint. If i randomly talk with a stranger at the store or somewhere public, i'm cool with that. but i dont really feel like going out of my way to schedule a lunch with someone i don't really know.

If she were blunt and said "i think we have similarities, and i'd like to hang out sometime if u want , let's be friends" i'd be cool with that but id put her on hold until i finish my work/stressful stuff. but she's not really saying what she wants from me " i just want to know you."

..

this is why guns are in the world.
just shoot her and all will be fine.
 

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and HORAY FOR LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could get more Gay action, how come all the gay men are so... timid and not forward...

ehh... I'll just be more forward I guess.

anyway, I always notice all these lesbians going all out and they gay guys never ball up and just hit on someone...
 

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So are you saying that you would give anyone a chance to be your friend?
Nope, I'm saying exactly what I posted. My point is that you provided no examples of any behaviour that might set off alarms in your head, aside from suddenly deciding she would like to know you better.

It would have been more helpful if you said something like "She rambles on about stuff I don't care about" or "She has a lazy eye and it seems like it follows me". To me, it seemed more or less like you were being too judgmental right from the start.

If you've already expressed yourself to her and she won't leave you alone, then I can understand. In that case, get a restraining order.

And in answer to your question, I give everyone a chance, even if there's something about them I immediately dislike. There's nothing saying I actually have to like them, though.
 

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This is a planted seed of thought that i wish hadn't been planted..


at least your direct.

her: can we schedule a time to get to know each other?
me: uh... :unsure: no?



feel free to ignore ENTPepreneur on this thread. he stirs up a lot of beef on the istj forum too.
It's alright, no harm done :tongue:
 

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Well, as you said it's about energy... And it's your life in the end, so your in charge. I see nothing strange with that at all...

Also, if you're not in the mood for new friends, that should be reason enough. She should be able to understand that. And if she doesn't, she surely wasn't going to be very compatible with you in the end, right?
 
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