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I'm wondering - can you all identify with this?
I've been reading the section in Naomi Quenk's book Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out our Hidden Personality about Ni-dominants' inferior Se as it reveals itself under stress.
She says that Se as an inferior function of INFJs and INTJs (appearing under stress, for which she uses the phrase "in the grip") demonstrates itself differently from Se as a dominant function of ESTPs and ESFPs:
dominant Se: focus on external data
inferior Se: obsessive focus on external data
dominant Se: seeking sensual/aesthetic pleasure
inferior Se: overindulgence in sensual pleasure
dominant Se: delight in the outer world
inferior Se: adversarial attitude towards the outer world
It is as if all the intensity of the INxJ being were drained out of his inner soul and poured into the experience of the outer world, so he feels fully out of his element to the nth degree, an unprepared traveler dropped into a strange, overwhelming new culture.
1. Obsessive Focus on External Data:
The outer world is an experience in which to revel, a sea of pleasure to dive into and indundate oneself with, an exhilarating watery playground...for an Se dom. An INxJ instead will feel the waters rushing on them and overwhelming them until their lives are flooded and they are drowning under its waves. Therefore, finding themselves "under the influence" of the outer world is a pleasant, relaxing experience for an Se dom, as they sit back and enjoy being smothered in its sensations; and an unpleasant, frenetic experience for an Se inf, who feels like the world is closing in around them.
Suddenly the INxJ develops quasi-OCD relative to every detail around them - maybe in their environment, maybe in their work, maybe in their appearance. Overwhelmed, they are wound up, they obsess or nitpick, or feel the need to control and re-order. As Quenk aptly describes it,
2. Overindulgence in Sensual Pleasures:
"Living in the moment" comes naturally to an Se dom ~ normalcy for them is soaking in the sensations, bathing in the aural aesthetics, breathing in the beauty, relaxing into the luxuriant-feeling cushions of life, plunging headfirst into its pleasures ...losing themselves in the immediacy of this world. While an Se dom is so familiar with this universe of sensation that he has the ability to operate like a responsible adult in this real world, an Se inf approaches it like a naive child charmed by his first taste of pleasure, living on a trip to fantasy away from the real world. An INxJ in the grip of inf Se can (but may not) throw himself with abandon into this indulgent pool of pleasure, drink in so fully that he quickly becomes drunk, then wake up in a regretful hungover slump, wondering bitterly what ever came over him...only to stagger over and fall right into the same pool again. The indulgence may take the form of eating binges, shopping binges, exercise binges, entertainment binges, lack-of-schedule-discipline binges etc., all as an escape from reality, which feels out-of-control and not necessarily even enjoyable. It's like living in a self-destructive fantasy.
Quenk writes,
3. Adversarial Attitude Toward the Outer World:
An Se dom approaches the physical world with anticipation of pleasure, like a child thinks of Christmas morning...an INxJ in the grip of inf Se views the physical world with expectation of difficulty, like a driver who thinks they may have caught a glimpse of blue flashing lights in their rearview mirror. In this respect, an Se dom sees the best ("what a wonderful world"), while an Se inf fears the worst ("they're coming to get me").
Quenk explains,
Can you all identify?
I've been reading the section in Naomi Quenk's book Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out our Hidden Personality about Ni-dominants' inferior Se as it reveals itself under stress.
She says that Se as an inferior function of INFJs and INTJs (appearing under stress, for which she uses the phrase "in the grip") demonstrates itself differently from Se as a dominant function of ESTPs and ESFPs:
dominant Se: focus on external data
inferior Se: obsessive focus on external data
dominant Se: seeking sensual/aesthetic pleasure
inferior Se: overindulgence in sensual pleasure
dominant Se: delight in the outer world
inferior Se: adversarial attitude towards the outer world
It is as if all the intensity of the INxJ being were drained out of his inner soul and poured into the experience of the outer world, so he feels fully out of his element to the nth degree, an unprepared traveler dropped into a strange, overwhelming new culture.
1. Obsessive Focus on External Data:
The outer world is an experience in which to revel, a sea of pleasure to dive into and indundate oneself with, an exhilarating watery playground...for an Se dom. An INxJ instead will feel the waters rushing on them and overwhelming them until their lives are flooded and they are drowning under its waves. Therefore, finding themselves "under the influence" of the outer world is a pleasant, relaxing experience for an Se dom, as they sit back and enjoy being smothered in its sensations; and an unpleasant, frenetic experience for an Se inf, who feels like the world is closing in around them.
Suddenly the INxJ develops quasi-OCD relative to every detail around them - maybe in their environment, maybe in their work, maybe in their appearance. Overwhelmed, they are wound up, they obsess or nitpick, or feel the need to control and re-order. As Quenk aptly describes it,
This really struck me. I can certainly identify with the 'cleaning' or 'organizing' binges that seem to strike when I am most stressed out and have other more pressing responsibilities...suddenly I feel like I have to get every detail of my life in order, even the tiniest, least significant details (along the line of alphabetizing CDs, lol). And I obsess over the smallest flaws in my appearance...it's like they are magnified beyond ordinary proportions or become all-consuming.Their attempts to control the details in their environment are often expressed in such activities as feverishly cleaning the house, moving furniture, and organizing records and other materials. They may show an adamant concern about minute details and an unrelenting effort to control everything in their immediate vicinity.
An INFJ described her obsessiveness and withdrawal from her usual interests this way: "I stew about what's going on. I can't sit still and am restless. I am mentally fatigued and find myself compulsively putting things in order and trying to control everything around me."
....An INFJ said, "I alphabetize my compact discs; or suddenly it's time to do that thing I thought about doing two months ago. I drop everything and do it..."
2. Overindulgence in Sensual Pleasures:
"Living in the moment" comes naturally to an Se dom ~ normalcy for them is soaking in the sensations, bathing in the aural aesthetics, breathing in the beauty, relaxing into the luxuriant-feeling cushions of life, plunging headfirst into its pleasures ...losing themselves in the immediacy of this world. While an Se dom is so familiar with this universe of sensation that he has the ability to operate like a responsible adult in this real world, an Se inf approaches it like a naive child charmed by his first taste of pleasure, living on a trip to fantasy away from the real world. An INxJ in the grip of inf Se can (but may not) throw himself with abandon into this indulgent pool of pleasure, drink in so fully that he quickly becomes drunk, then wake up in a regretful hungover slump, wondering bitterly what ever came over him...only to stagger over and fall right into the same pool again. The indulgence may take the form of eating binges, shopping binges, exercise binges, entertainment binges, lack-of-schedule-discipline binges etc., all as an escape from reality, which feels out-of-control and not necessarily even enjoyable. It's like living in a self-destructive fantasy.
Quenk writes,
I really identify with this also...there are times when Ni's little "you know what [insert negative consequence] could happen if you do this" whisper is tuned out by Se's loud, resonant, overpowering velvet "you know how good this will feel" voice, and temporarily reality seems far, far away from the realm of my indulgence.Overdoing gratification of the senses is a commonly mentioned behavior for INTJs and INFs in the grip of their inferior function. They may overeat or binge. They see themselves as obsessively doing harm to their bodies. A typical "tactic" is to overindulge compulsively and immediately thereafter - if not during the episode - berate themselves for their uncontrolled, shallow, destructive behavior.
An INTJ described the experience this way:
There is a clear preliminary state where I am totally apart from the real world.
I am not even an observer, and I can completely ignore anything real. It's a nice
fantasy, that's all - just absorbing. But later I become excessively indulgent, getting
totally immersed in physical experiences - eating, exercise, pulp fiction, TV. But I don't
enjoy it. It feels like a dangerous roller coaster, but I'm immobilized and can't get off.
An INFJ said, "I have to get away from reality. I do too much of something - one thing. i eat more or stop eating; I shop for useless things." Another said, "I eat too much, spend too much, watch TV or read excessively to escape. I'm late for everything."
3. Adversarial Attitude Toward the Outer World:
An Se dom approaches the physical world with anticipation of pleasure, like a child thinks of Christmas morning...an INxJ in the grip of inf Se views the physical world with expectation of difficulty, like a driver who thinks they may have caught a glimpse of blue flashing lights in their rearview mirror. In this respect, an Se dom sees the best ("what a wonderful world"), while an Se inf fears the worst ("they're coming to get me").
Quenk explains,
I can also identify with reading the worst through the lines of my environment when stressed (whether it is there or not), narrowing in on that which feels negative around me, and letting it get to me.Their hypersensitivity to potentially dangerous surroundings can promote uneasiness about people as well. "I can have negative forebodings and feel that people are against me," said an INTJ. An INFJ said she "becomes suspicious. Usually I'm tolerant, curious, and compassionate, so 'out of character' for me means I'm unaccepting and frustrated with the world."
....Anticipating the worst can often elicit anger and blame in INTJs and INFJs. "I'm moody and gloomy, with sudden deep anger," said an INTJ. An INFJ also describes experiencing deep anger: "I am emotionally aroused and am terribly critical of others. I accuse people of never helping me. I become dogmatic and blast people with facts. If no one is around to attack, I write a scathing letter to someone."
....The altered state of any inferior function is typically accompanied by a lessening of social controls and therefore more frequent expressions of anger. However, the character of the anger may be different for different types.
Can you all identify?