Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Ok, first off, I really wouldn't describe myself as shy, but I am introverted and I do have a 5 wing, so being outgoing and talking to strangers just doesn't feel good like 90% of the time. I know how to flirt with guys and I feel like I'm rather good at it. But like, what do you do when the other person is shy? Especially considering I am an INFJ and their shyness and awkwardness can really mess with my spidy sense.

If you are a shy person, how would you want to be approached? What is the best case scenario when are overwhelmed by the person you are crushing on?

There's this really handsome new guy at work, and whilst I do appreciate a pretty face, I was pretty content to just leave it at that and appreciate his aesthetics and not give af, for like a ton of reasons. But I'm picking up weird vibes from him, and gosh darn it, now it's piqued my interest. He's tall, strapping, got a handsome face, for one thing, for another he seems confidant and take charge, I honestly get an 8 vibe from him, but I barely interacted with him thus far so I can only base that off my spidy sense. But the dude pretty much makes a b-line the second we make eye contact. Kinda odd for an 8, but if he is indeed an 8, it wouldn't be the first time I had that effect on one simply by existing. But y'know 4's and 8's got that weird chemistry. But whatever, I'm trying not to approach this as a 4/8 thing. And just trying to look at this like maybe he's just legitimately shy, and somehow missed the fact that he's kinda hot and has no good reason as far as I'm concerned to be weird around me.

So of course I mentioned this to a few people, especially cuz it's really starting to bother me. Like for example I was helping someone in another department - it might have actually been one of his guys, but I'm like always in my own little world and barely know who's who outside of my team, and I don't know if it even matters anyway - but hot dude is going about his business and doesn't see me at first. I'm thinking, oh look, it's Mr.abnormally attractive coworker, and he isn't running away. Interesting. I turn the corner with the person I'm helping, we try to find the thing, but we can't find the thing, go back the way we came shy boi sees me this time, does a double take, and then doubles his pace from what I saw it was just a moment ago, grabs his shit and takes off. He looks back once or twice as he goes, but I'm trying to pay attention to the person I'm helping, but also like, wtf?? Like, stuff like that. So I'm telling a few people about it, and they're just like, uh, go talk to him – duh! But how do you do that when they literally run away from you? Like sorry I refuse to stalk a guy, for one thing, and for another if I had to literally corner a man in his 30's just to get him to talk to me, I think I need to reconsider wtf I'm doing.

That being said, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not a looser, but just legitimately shy what's the best way to deal with this? Like if you're shy and crushing on someone, is it worth the anxiety attack for that person to just show up randomly and try and chat you up? Would you secretly be afraid and uncomfortable? Or would it be a relief to not make the first move? He's only been at my job for like 2 months now and our shifts have maybe 3 hours where they overlap. I don't see him much. Like if you were him, would you rather want things to not develop until you are more comfortable? Or should I just respect the fact that he seems to be afraid of me for whatever reason and leave him alone?

I'd love to hear your thoughts or even your own shy experiences to help me understand what might be going on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,110 Posts
Uhhhh, just ask him out? I think your coworkers are correct. You need to talk to him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
337 Posts
I would suggest you just go talk to him. Like assuming he might be interested but is just shy a lot of the anxiety comes from the unknown and just assuming you're not interested I think. If you just talk to him and like don't come on super strong but just try to have a normal conversation that might work out for you and would maybe make him not so skittish around you. Also it works out for you since you don't wanna dive in headfirst and find out he's not actually your type so doing some scouting first is probably smart.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
My friend, who he is perfectly fine with, saw him rounding the bend when we were talking to each other and called him over. He was perfectly normal an happy to chat with us for a few minuets. So Hopefully we can go from there. Maybe the one on one thing with out the ice really broken was overwhelming for him, I dunno. *shrugs*
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top