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Try and tell yourself this . As much as i would like this person to be interested in me, if it doesn't come natural for him, my interest is a one way street. If i remain stuck in thinking about why he's chasing other girls and wishing it was me, i'm not leaving room emotionally for a great guy who wants to be with me, so therefore i may miss out on something great with someone else.

Putting time and energy into things that you can't control is not good for you emotionally. Try and move forward and put this behind you. Find someone you connect with who also wants to connect with you. Good luck :)
 

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There's not much you can do, you keep on hurting until it goes away, if ever.
 
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Discussion Starter #4
Try and tell yourself this . As much as i would like this person to be interested in me, if it doesn't come natural for him, my interest is a one way street. If i remain stuck in thinking about why he's chasing other girls and wishing it was me, i'm not leaving room emotionally for a great guy who wants to be with me, so therefore i may miss out on something great with someone else.

Putting time and energy into things that you can't control is not good for you emotionally. Try and move forward and put this behind you. Find someone you connect with who also wants to connect with you. Good luck :)
He's chasing a girl who likes someone else though. I had successfully put him behind me until she started liking someone else. Before she started liking someone else the guy I like and her were really hitting it off, and I picked up on the fact that he didn't act the same way with me that he acts with her. But now she likes someone else and I start thinking.... "What if he gives up on her? Than maybe, he'll see me? Maybe he can be that way with me?" But he just seems to be chasing her more.

It's difficult because in the time before she started liking someone else and when I had moved on, I started to pick up on the fact that another guy likes me. I don't like him in the same way I like the other guy at all--but he is fun, he is nice, he is safe, and I thought I would give him a shot to see if I just developed feelings for him over time. But then she starts liking someone else, then I start to think about the first guy again, and then I start to wonder if it's fair to the guy who likes me to be flirting with him and thinking of someone else. And I also realize that the guy I like might not come to me if he ever gives up on the girl he likes, on account of the fact that the guy who likes me does like me and I don't think he knows how I feel, but I don't feel like I can express it without potentially hurting the guy who likes me.

.....I don't even know if any of that makes sense when put down like that. It feels good to put out though.

You are right though. I'm not doing myself any favors by crying about how he won't like me. I really do just wish I could go back to when I had given up on him last time. I was content with that. At the same time though, I don't want him to think that I don't like him because I do and if he ever changes his mind, I don't want him to give up or respect our friendship or whatever.

:frustrating:
 

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bah, feelings are confusing. Had a class with guy for one year that had no interest in me whatsoever and I havent talked to him since (I catch a glimpse of him around campus every now and again). But I still like him?! ITs weird.....
 

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My advice is just to enjoy the time you have with him. Whatever happens, happens.
I had a relationship once, and I had certain expectations that weren't fulfilled when it ended. That clouded my view of the good times we did have and I considered the entire thing a waste. That wasn't true. The good times outweighed the bad and the disappointment, plus I realized the time spent with the person was more important than the romantic relationship. Though it's now platonic, it's still love, you know?
 

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I know it's hard, but you'll have to let the guy go, you do NOT want to get with him, especially if he's on a rebound or just looking for anybody to fill their needs because things didn't work out with the other woman, that'd be like tying your hands to the back of the jeep, you being your emotions, and the Jeep being that guy..

bah, feelings are confusing. Had a class with guy for one year that had no interest in me whatsoever and I havent talked to him since (I catch a glimpse of him around campus every now and again). But I still like him?! ITs weird.....
Tried talking to him at all? some guys are pretty shy
 

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Tried talking to him at all? some guys are pretty shy
oh yeah. But IM super shy myself and have NO experience in dating whatsoever. We had pretty good conversations at the beginning of the semester and he would joke around a bit in class, but as classes caught up with him he came to the club less and less and the conversations got shorter and less familiar. I kept hoping he'd come back more regularly again, but the few times he did return, he really did not want to talk to me at all. I got very short phrases and/or one word answers. Most the time I felt like I was bothering him...:unsure:
 

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Oh honey. You cry. A lot. And you do one of two things - keep chasing them until your heart breaks, or let them go now.

But either way, eventually the tears go away. And you find someone who has room for you in their heart :)
 
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What do you do?

Particularly if you really like them and it hurts to see them chasing other girls.
Ah, I see you're back.

aweh, sweetie, you must be a young'un just like Smileygirl and I..
Don't get to stuck on one guy, you've got plenty of time to find someone. The most important thing is that you have to go out and make your mistakes before you figure things out. You'll get hurt from time to time, but.. my advice to you is to see where that trail ends, and find a new one. eventually, if you keep looking, (and chasing) you'll find somebody.

In short.. do what you want to do. You'll end up hurt, most likely, but you'll learn a lot about relationships, and how to manage them.

I may be young, but I've already dated 3 girls, and, of all the girls I've crushed on, I'm 3/4 on dating them. Even though each relationship is over, I've learned so much from them that, when I do find someone who is right for me, I'll be ready for them, and if you fumble around for awhile, you won't learn as well. Just don't give up.
 

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I will tell you how I deal with it. It may not be your solution, but it is mine.

When someone doesn't reciprocate your feelings for something more than friends, the real pain generally comes with the fact that this possibility no longer exists. And really, it isn't fair to you to wait around and see if it might be possible, because when the time comes and it still doesn't happen, you will be bitter and even more distraught.

Sooo, what you have on your hands now is a possibility that has died but it isn't dead. You have an undead possibility. I have a no tolerance policy for undead possibilities when it comes to relationships. So I take the time to first properly mourn the death of what could have been. I mourn it like someone has died, because in an abstract sense they have. And once I am done mourning, I go out with my wooden stake and I kill that undead possibility. I kill it so it can't come back, the real thorough way. Then I give it a proper burial so I can have closure and move on.

Emotionally, that's the exact process I go through. You can't easily go through life with a horde of zombie vampire possibilities following you around. You gotta kill the suckers.
 

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What do you do?

Particularly if you really like them and it hurts to see them chasing other girls.
Since you can't seem to forget about it just like that, try this: figure out what you like ABOUT HIM. Specifically. Is there some stand-out quality that makes you like him more than anything else? Figure out why you're into him, and then if its a substantial reason (a personal quality you admire), then focus on finding that quality in someone else that is more worth your time.

If you can't figure out why you like him, and there is nothing you really admire, then figure out what it is about your emotional or psychological state right now that makes you so hardcore attached to someone that is not into you

Not to sound harsh, i've been through all this, and the hardway. this is what i would have told me, years ago.

So to review
1. Figure out why you like him so much
2. If its because of something substantial, find that quality in someone else
3. If its not because of anything substantial about him, turn inward, then identify and vanquish the insecurity within yourself that is the cause.
 

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What do you do?

Particularly if you really like them and it hurts to see them chasing other girls.
Or what do you do when they're married?

What if they're having problems in their marriage?

XD Get's confusing huh?

So if he doesn't have a ring on his finger, why aren't you flirting with the guy?

Steps:
1) Girl/woman makes obvious flirts at the guy... This is because guys are thick sometimes and have to realize, "Oh she likes me!"
2) Guy figures out what he thinks of the girl/woman.
3) He either gets dodgy and avoids you, OR he asks you on a date or whatever.

Now, some guys do chase women. This makes a lot of women lazy and other ones jealous. Very bad idea to be passive on the flirting front, because you'll end up with whatever guy decided to chase you, rather than one you've picked.
 
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Unrequited love, eh? I have been there. Had a major crush on one guy since the 6th grade. I even told him in 7th grade I liked him so, and he thanked me. We even attended high school together. Again, nothing happened. We kept in touch after graduating from college, and by this time, I was pretty certain he had no interest in me besides being my friend, so I naturally viewed him as a friend, dated other wonderful men, and entered a few serious relationships with some amazing fellows. Then one day, he told me he actually liked me. Crazy but true. Long story short, you never know what may happen, but in the meantime, make peace with how things are now, and move on. This reminds me of what one man - a modern day Casanova-type btw - once told me, "There are two things a woman shouldn't chase: men and buses."
 
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