I'm pretty objective about problems that arise in my life. If I can control the situation (which I generally can), I will blame myself. If I haven't worked hard enough, if I've spent too much, if I've eaten too much, if I haven't worked out... These are all things that I could have done differently. If one of my friends invites me out to do something, it is not their fault that I do it. This is part of my control freak nature. I think that most XSTJ's are usually pretty on top of their lives so that they don't have many of these issues and if they do, they learn from it. It's about priorities.
Things that I can't control, like other people's behavior, I learn quickly who I will associate with. My standards are set high, and I generally piss most people off because I have too many "rules," but I am happy and I surround myself with good influences. I honestly don't think there are that many really good people in the world, so I filter through them and see who is. I try not to be too rude about it, which I'm getting better at holding my tongue as I get older, but I just let people fade out of my life if they don't live up to my expectations.