May be i am having a slow morning but I am reading contradictory things in your post. While you say 'depression being stable' and then you say 'at least not depressed'; so please allow me to respond, based on what I understand.I was wondering how any of you who exprienced depression finally started to feel stable again and even if not happy, at least not depressed. Because I just noticed for me I barley even felt the problems fading away but it sure as hell didn't happen over night. So if anyone can share what the process felt like or a key moment or any kind of exprience that he/she remembers or if it was a long process of small acts I'd appriciate hearing it out.
I have never been 'not depressed' . It has been with me since I was a teenager. Has it ever been stable? Yes, it has been stable and easier to manage but I was still depressed and suffering but since it was manageable, i was happy with it. However, i have lost control of it and it went crazy deep in a dark hole few times in my life, usually triggered by events that ignited the hidden fires of past traumas.
It also goes bad if I eat unhealthy food (sugar) and stop exercising.
I hope my post was helpful. You can ask any further questions and I will be happy to elaborate.