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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I used to have this friend online, and we'd talk all the time. However our friendship fell apart. (She started calling me a moron because of my romantic misadventures with another girl and told me I was pathetic.)

So she wrote these 3 poems and posted them. I assume each one is a shot, trying to show why she thinks I'm an asshole.

Poem One

I see you grab a fairy's little tail
and nail it on your wall - a memento
of the childhood dreams you stubbornly
refuse to let go.

Of you on a rocking horse,
brandishing a wooden sword,
with hapless maidens hanging onto
your every honeyed word.

A harem to inspire gestures
lofty and genteel - a disguise
to hide a fear so utterly puerile.
Poor, crucified fairy,

your magic dust has lost its charm,
as he who runs from being ordinary
doesn't see how you're a sham.


Poem 2


You stagger onto the stage, red-faced,
intoxicated by your own tears. On your lapel
is pinned a shard of your broken heart,
staining your already tattered jacket.

Bathing in the glow of the spotlight
you begin your eulogy, commemorating
a courage unparalled, a love unmatched,
a wisdom unplumbed by simple men.

You speak of sisyphean tasks, of noble
intents encumbered by undeserved betrayals,
hindered by malicious tongues and closed minds.
You weep, cradling the remains of your heart.

I look at you, consider the venue,
and decided to enjoy the show.


Poem 3


Hands outstretched, palms up,
you ask for an ounce of affection,
a snippet of understanding, crumbs
of commendation. It's all there,

in your letters of solicitation,
along with your reason why you're worthy
of attention - your boundless passion,
heard in every fervent interjection,

in your effusive admiration of your own
motivation! With such entertaining
affectations, brought about by prodigious
delusions, why still crave for affirmation?

Crude puppet, caught in Braggadocio's pull,
those whose eyes aren't covered in wool,
already see how you're paid in full.


What do you all think of these poems? Are they fair attacks?
 

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Ouch, how hurtful. I feel for you Btmangan.

I have to confess that I have the same tendency as this girl. When someone likes me romantically and I feel he's pushing himself too hard against me, I sometimes lose it and snap. It's not that I think the guy is an asshole, it's just a release of all the repressed irritation, frustration, fear etc that had built up.

I have a feeling she'd feel guilty about this eventually. Don't let the words she's said in anger get to you.
 

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I don't know the context of your relationship or the conversations you had, but this sounds pretty uncalled for. The poems are actually pretty good as pure poetry, but in terms of what she's trying to say, they seem quite out of line. I think she's just in panic mode for whatever reason, and she'll come down from it eventually.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Noooo no no no! I didn't have any feelings for her (girl who wrote poems). We were just platonic friends.

When I said romantic inclinations, I was talking about another girl. Sorry for the mixup.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I saw it as an attack at my very nature.

Figure there are others out there that just can't stand INFJs by their nature.

Any experiences?
 

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INFJs are just heavily misunterstood; it's as simple as that. This goes hand in hand with the fact that you're the rarest type. The most you can do is to ignore those who misjudge you like this, because for every person who does so, there are plenty of others who see the value in your uniqueness.
 

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Oh dear, looks like you have upset her!!

As an INFJ I have written poems and letters to people that have upset me. Maybe she became a bit infatuated. This is why internet chat/sites can become a bit dodgy, you loose touch with reality and I can see how vulnerable people can get suked in by imaginary "relationships online"

Don't take it personally. Just be careful as some people can be more vulnerable than others and not see things so clearly. Its easy to get attached to people if you are not in a good position, which is what I think happened to this girl.

You broke her heart....a little!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Oh dear, looks like you have upset her!!

As an INFJ I have written poems and letters to people that have upset me. Maybe she became a bit infatuated. This is why internet chat/sites can become a bit dodgy, you loose touch with reality and I can see how vulnerable people can get suked in by imaginary "relationships online"

Don't take it personally. Just be careful as some people can be more vulnerable than others and not see things so clearly. Its easy to get attached to people if you are not in a good position, which is what I think happened to this girl.

You broke her heart....a little!
Weird... she never said anything. >.<

you might be right... she was always a very emotionally closed-off person
 

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Here is my interpretations, if it helps any in trying to understand wtf happened.

I used to have this friend online, and we'd talk all the time. However our friendship fell apart. (She started calling me a moron because of my romantic misadventures with another girl and told me I was pathetic.)

So she wrote these 3 poems and posted them. I assume each one is a shot, trying to show why she thinks I'm an asshole.

Poem One

I see you grab a fairy's little tail
and nail it on your wall - a memento
of the childhood dreams you stubbornly
refuse to let go.

Of you on a rocking horse,
brandishing a wooden sword,
with hapless maidens hanging onto
your every honeyed word.

A harem to inspire gestures
lofty and genteel - a disguise
to hide a fear so utterly puerile.
Poor, crucified fairy,

your magic dust has lost its charm,
as he who runs from being ordinary
doesn't see how you're a sham.
Fixated on a childish theme here, either her personal experience or opining on your childish fantasy towards relationships. The poem seems to make connections between childhood fantasies and adult responsibilities and how she may see your charming and giving persona as a facade hiding a tortured self orientated need for affirmation... or simply, using of others emotions to feel better about yourself or herself. Seem to be alluding to your need for affirmation of love or her need for self defence against feeling lied to or her defence of the girlfriend anticipating a breakup and trying to protect you at the same time, something like that. Seems a bit ambiguous about who its being directed at, the fairy maybe her or the girlfriend.


Poem 2


You stagger onto the stage, red-faced,
intoxicated by your own tears. On your lapel
is pinned a shard of your broken heart,
staining your already tattered jacket.

Bathing in the glow of the spotlight
you begin your eulogy, commemorating
a courage unparalled, a love unmatched,
a wisdom unplumbed by simple men.

You speak of sisyphean tasks, of noble
intents encumbered by undeserved betrayals,
hindered by malicious tongues and closed minds.
You weep, cradling the remains of your heart.

I look at you, consider the venue,
and decided to enjoy the show.
Seem like she to either point out your strong emotions combined with an arrogant self assurance so as to hide the personal inadequacies or is trying to be an audience to your hidden talents and trying to ground your feelings. This one is a little ambiguous and seem to be them trying to understand your battles and disappointments but not wanting to be part of them and is uninterested in them. Hard to say.



Poem 3

Hands outstretched, palms up,
you ask for an ounce of affection,
a snippet of understanding, crumbs
of commendation. It's all there,

in your letters of solicitation,
along with your reason why you're worthy
of attention - your boundless passion,
heard in every fervent interjection,

in your effusive admiration of your own
motivation! With such entertaining
affectations, brought about by prodigious
delusions, why still crave for affirmation?

Crude puppet, caught in Braggadocio's pull,
those whose eyes aren't covered in wool,
already see how you're paid in full.
Similar to poem 2 but seems stronger in tone, more emotionally direct and less observational. Begging for acceptance and promises that may not seem real, she sees through your big battles and sees them as small. Fully invested in your emotions either wrongly for something or unwittingly against something.

What do you all think of these poems? Are they fair attacks?
Main theme seems to be emotional adventures that seem like childlike fantasies and deceptions of the heart and mistrust of intentions of what you are talking about. To me its seems quite ambiguous without any significant context. They seem heartfelt and painful rather than provocative and damning to me, but I don't know anything about the situation so its all just theoretical assumption but thought I'd post because it might help in some way. At least I've had a go:confused::laughing:
 

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I saw it as an attack at my very nature.

Figure there are others out there that just can't stand INFJs by their nature.

Any experiences?
ususally we get too excited or happy and we start wanting things to be taken not so seriously which is good for us at a party or something... but... not with someone who is going through something...

Weird... she never said anything. >.<

you might be right... she was always a very emotionally closed-off person
also just sounds like a bad match.
didn't even read teh poems but it sounds like she is breaking it off with you.

and you might be thinking she is more sensitive than she is...

some types just increase each others sensitivity and not in a good way...
honestly... the more someone can bring you out of that shell and fight through the feelings with you the more awesome your relationship will be...

I know lots of girls I am compatible with perfectly... but... I am gay. ha ha
being a girls friend is good to... usually for a bit longer for us...
sex kinda makes us crazy... especially for us men INFJ's
 

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This girl had/has a lot of passion for you. She might have had very deep romantic feelings for you that quickly turned to seeming hate when rejected. I don't think the friendship is lost, but to me it is obvious she wants something more. It sounds like you guys need to talk about your boundaries and what your expectations are.
 

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I used to have this friend online, and we'd talk all the time. However our friendship fell apart. (She started calling me a moron because of my romantic misadventures with another girl and told me I was pathetic.)

So she wrote these 3 poems and posted them. I assume each one is a shot, trying to show why she thinks I'm an asshole.

What do you all think of these poems? Are they fair attacks?
"Fair attack" is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? :sad:

When I read these, it makes me think that she is trying to prove how well she knows you. I find the poems to be some really low blows. At the same time, I think she might care for you more than you know. People don't waste their time & energy into poems if, at one point, there wasn't something else there.

It's funny you brought this up. The other day I was upset to discover another poem written about me by a former really good friend.

She'd done a similar thing, writing me poems & letters about how terrible I am, how broken and irredeemable. As the years passed and we renewed a safer acquaintanceship, she told me that she'd been in love with me, and I'd broken her heart. I'd had no idea. Zilch. I was heartbroken over our lost friendship, and had never considered that a possibility.

So she still writes about me, and our mutual friends will pass it on (which makes me incredibly uncomfortable). I hate how public it is. I feel so scrutinized. So dissected. She does know me well. She knows the things that hurt me most, that make me most ashamed of myself.

But when I think about the way she handles things, I realize this is her way of saying she loves me, and that she hates loving me, but she can't stop loving me. My way of never replying back is how I say, "I love you, but I will never hurt you like that again".

People have such different ways of saying the same things.
 

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What do you all think of these poems? Are they fair attacks?
On a purely technical level, she has a very good way with words. The poems are well-written, and I am impressed by her talent.

I wonder if she requires drama to inspire her to write like this? Some of my favourite poets and lyricists seem to write better when they have gone through difficult times. I admire their writing, but it seems almost selfish of me because I know they suffered for their work.

Anyway, I think that your assumption about the poems being shots at somebody (presumably you), is correct. The words she has chosen to use, and the way she has phrased things comes across as mocking and scornful to me, rather than understanding or uplifting. I am not sure where it comes from. Love? Hate? Certainly not indifference.

Do I think they are fair attacks? Not really. They’re just poems, her personal expressions and opinions. But they do not seem like constructive criticisms. To be told that you are childish (as a negative rather than 'child-like'), do not understand yourself, and that you are a sham yearning for attention that supposedly you do not deserve is not likely to yield positive results. To me, those descriptions are about tearing you down, perhaps aimed at making you feel guilty and bad, rather than inspiring you to change.

But I think it is your interpretation that really matters here. Do you think the poems are fair descriptions of you? Do you feel inspired to change?
 
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Discussion Starter #16
But I think it is your interpretation that really matters here. Do you think the poems are fair descriptions of you? Do you feel inspired to change?
I honestly don't know.

Lately... I've been a mix of lonely and introspective melancholy... and my hopeful joke-making, smiling self. (More melancholy than normal... but I just got turned down by a girl I really liked so... that's normal)

But at this very moment I'm feeling so many different emotions that I don't even know which end is up. I just did a bunch of sit-ups too... so I'm not sure what's emotion, and what's my stomach being sore ;)
 

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I used to have this friend online, and we'd talk all the time. However our friendship fell apart. (She started calling me a moron because of my romantic misadventures with another girl and told me I was pathetic.)

So she wrote these 3 poems and posted them. I assume each one is a shot, trying to show why she thinks I'm an asshole.

What do you all think of these poems? Are they fair attacks?
This person is quite intellectual...seems bitter, there is an angry vibe or something unpleasant about this...Did you try to have a romantic affair with this person? She seems bitter, maybe she wanted your attention to be on her...

She writes well...I like it it is dark....but clearly not you. (Not that I know you that well) but from what I read this is an over-dramatization, and this person clearly mis-read...There is likely a side of you that may be fantastical and romantic, but I think you are a very positive caring person, and this does not exhibit that....

But then that's just my opinion, correct me if I'm wrong! Person seems bitter and angry.
 

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I saw it as an attack at my very nature.

Figure there are others out there that just can't stand INFJs by their nature.

Any experiences?
People attack me frequently...It's an easy target thing, it isn't necessarily personal...People need someone sturdy that they can whine on, that won't really be broken by it, or run away...Note! This is exactly what I was talking about in some Threads about attracting crazy people, it's not worth it...

This is not an INFJ thing, this girl has problems, I am certain she is attacking others too, very frequently.

I hope you aren't dating online! you are too cute for that nonsense.
 

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Hmm, pretentious poetical venom designed to make maximum impact... and it did, did'nt it OP?
Sounds like your Wordsmith has the makings of a literary assassin.
I believe she's suffering from her own histrionic unrequited feelings for you. Pot meet kettle in this case.
Her hypocrisy is amazing.
She accuses you of being obtuse about your image that you represent,.. she mocks you as a 'rescuer, a knight in rusty armour, childish with your toy horse and toy sword, your rescuing intentions false and misplaced... methinks this is because she feels your Knightly behaviour was misplaced. She wanted to be the Fairy pinned to the wall,.. literally, methinks. talk about sexual symbolism ha!
She see's you as a self conscious Pagliacci, wearing your mask of tears as you play to the gallery,..well well,.. maybe she feels it is this way, but she didnt always beleive so, at one point she believed you to be all you said you were, till you turned your 'misplaced' atention onto another female, and she felt the first stirrings of 'I'm a nice girl, why doesnt he chase after ME?' its jealousy of the other girl, that has made her twist her view of you.
In order to gain back her self esteem, from being, 'in her mind. rejected for another'... she must paint you as a pantomime villain. She accuses you of using pathos and 'I'm misunderstood'.. as a means to hate you, so that she can feel better.
She's the one who has cast you as the actor, she defined what your character should be,.. after all, its her play, she worote it, and you are to be cast as villain of the peice.
in all this, there is still a heafrtfelt plea to be recognised, but she's done this in such a dramatic way, rather than maybe just admitting her feelings.
She really has made a drama out of nothing.
her feelings count, but if she never told you, why cast you as villain?
She uses this as a way to deflect onto you her own perceived inadequacies.
I should take it for what it was OP,.. a brat attack of literary pretensions.
Think of it no more.
G. x
 

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Very good post Goodewitch, I can see your take on it, seems pretty fair to me. She does seems a bit unstable or at least obsessive with her emotions. Would be interesting to know how it led to these poems, please don't feel obligated to tell us Btmangan, just hope you're getting something useful that helps you deal with whatever happened. :cool:
BTW, I think you could call it a strong emotional reaction at least, simple answer.:happy:
 
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