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Discussion Starter #1
Guys....My father is driving me crazy. And in an attempt to understand and tolerate him better, I'd like to type him. But to be honest every type seems too good for him. I literally can't find anything positive to say about my dad. To me, it seems impossible how someone could be such an idiot, so I feel like I'm missing something here. I feel sorta bad for hating him so much but I can't help it. :(

As a summary (I could write a book about his idiocy but I doubt anyone here would bother to read it):

- He's very stubborn
- THE MOST UNAWARE person of other's feeling
- Forgetful
- Selfish
- Unimaginative
- Very little sense of humor
- Likes to drink way over his limits. Will come up with excuses to go out drinking
- Awkward and offensive
- Not in tune with anything happening around him ever
- Simple and stupid
- Unambitious
- Lazy
- Grumpy, always mad
- Negative pessimist
- Takes everything for granted
- Untidy and unhygienic
- Doesn't like change
- Not spontaneous
- Likes miniature railway stuff, used to be an electrician
- Not talkative. Unable to talk without sounding angry. Whenever he does talk, either offensive or complaining
- Very irritable
- Never gives praise
 

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Guys....My father is driving me crazy. And in an attempt to understand and tolerate him better, I'd like to type him. But to be honest every type seems too good for him. I literally can't find anything positive to say about my dad. To me, it seems impossible how someone could be such an idiot, so I feel like I'm missing something here.

As a summary (I could write a book about his idiocy but I doubt anyone here would bother to read it):

- He's very stubborn
- THE MOST UNAWARE person of other's feeling
- Forgetful
- Selfish
- Unimaginative
- Very little sense of humor
- Likes to drink way over his limits. Will come up with excuses to go out drinking
- Awkward and offensive
- Not in tune with anything happening around him ever
- Simple and stupid
- Unambitious
- Lazy
- Grumpy, always mad
- Negative pessimist
- Takes everything for granted
- Untidy and unhygienic
- Doesn't like change
- Not spontaneous
- Likes miniature railway stuff, used to be an electrician
- Not talkative. Unable to talk without sounding angry. Whenever he does talk, either offensive or complaining
- Very irritable
- Never gives praise
Can you give more about his personality? Not that you don't provide anything but just sounds more like a list of symptoms to personality disorders than actual characteristics.
 
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Discussion Starter #3
Can you give more about his personality? Not that you don't provide anything but just sounds more like a list of symptoms to personality disorders than actual characteristics.
Lol I totally understand and agree with your point. But that's exactly why I have a problem. XD I can't say I know him too well, because all I see in him are personality disorders.

Although I admit that he has high blood pressure so that contributes to his annoyingness.

Oh, he's very slow to accept ideas. He needs a lot of time to think about stuff. He hates to be pushed or hurried. Hmm...And he's bad with money (spends more than he should on useless crap, but at the same time very frugal).
 

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Guys....My father is driving me crazy. And in an attempt to understand and tolerate him better, I'd like to type him. But to be honest every type seems too good for him. I literally can't find anything positive to say about my dad. To me, it seems impossible how someone could be such an idiot, so I feel like I'm missing something here.

As a summary (I could write a book about his idiocy but I doubt anyone here would bother to read it):

- He's very stubborn
- THE MOST UNAWARE person of other's feeling
- Forgetful
- Selfish
- Unimaginative
- Very little sense of humor
- Likes to drink way over his limits. Will come up with excuses to go out drinking
- Awkward and offensive
- Not in tune with anything happening around him ever
- Simple and stupid
- Unambitious
- Lazy
- Grumpy, always mad
- Negative pessimist
- Takes everything for granted
- Untidy and unhygienic
- Doesn't like change
- Not spontaneous
- Likes miniature railway stuff, used to be an electrician
- Not talkative. Unable to talk without sounding angry. Whenever he does talk, either offensive or complaining
- Very irritable
- Never gives praise
Oh, and here i thought you were a saviour of some kind. Especially after reading this thread you created, so amusing, it make me laugh out loud, literally.

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-for...ou-ever-feel-like-chosen-one.html#post2349230

People with God like qualities shouldn't have a problem finding good in people, snickers*

Wow, i see how much disrespect you have for your father. I can't shake this feeling that somehow this is more about you than him, especially reading the link i posted above, barf gags in mouth :p
 

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Lol I totally understand and agree with your point. But that's exactly why I have a problem. XD I can't say I know him too well, because all I see in him are personality disorders.

Although I admit that he has high blood pressure so that contributes to his annoyingness.

Oh, he's very slow to accept ideas. He needs a lot of time to think about stuff. He hates to be pushed or hurried. Hmm...And he's bad with money (spends more than he should on useless crap, but at the same time very frugal).
No idea with certainty.... maybe a very unhealthy INTJ? If what you say is true and you care at all for him; he should probably see someone. Just a thought. Unless you truly "don't see any good in him" then I suggest you find the time to move out? You don't strike me as a "kid" really; maybe young adult? Also get better if you're "sick." Good luck.
 
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Discussion Starter #6
Oh, and here i thought you were a saviour of some kind. Especially after reading this thread you created, so amusing, it make me laugh out loud, literally.

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-for...ou-ever-feel-like-chosen-one.html#post2349230

People with God like qualities shouldn't have a problem finding good in people, snickers*

Wow, i see how much disrespect you have for your father. I can't shake this feeling that somehow this is more about you than him, especially reading the link i posted above, barf gags in mouth :p
Wow, you're post makes me really angry. The reason I created this thread is because I'm hopeless with him. Especially caus I'm usually good at finding positive things about anyone. I'm usually able to see a reason behind people's actions, even when they annoy me. But my father is an exception. And before you've lived your whole life with him seemingly ruining your every single day, I find it rather sad that you come to judge me as being a hypocrite.

I feel guilty for disliking him so much and that's why I created this thread.

For your knowledge, my boyfriend hates him, my 2 brothers dislike him, my sister dislikes him. My friends dislike him. Even my mom complains and cries about him sometimes (I don't understand how she still loves him? :( ) I could write a book about he's bad parenting. And for your information I've tried to love him but as you can see, there really doesn't seem to be many reasons. T___T

He had a troublesome childhood. I don't know too much about it except that his father died when he was young, so I guess he never had a father figure to look up to.

ED// My point is that there MUST BE something good about him. Something that would make up for what he is in my eyes. And I've really tried to see that side of him. Honestly I just cant. :( Even my boyfriend keeps telling me it's hopeless. He has said that he doesn't want me to invite him to our wedding.
 

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Oh, and here i thought you were a saviour of some kind. Especially after reading this thread you created, so amusing, it make me laugh out loud, literally.

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-for...ou-ever-feel-like-chosen-one.html#post2349230

People with God like qualities shouldn't have a problem finding good in people, snickers*

Wow, i see how much disrespect you have for your father. I can't shake this feeling that somehow this is more about you than him, especially reading the link i posted above, barf gags in mouth :p
Her thread is probably a way of coping? Sometimes the most confident truly are not confident at all. Besides you do have a point but impossible to really say if what you say is true. Its the internet; take what you read from other's posts with a grain of salt and only post seriously if you perceive the matter as serious. I think there is some type of family tension going on here but whether its on Tenshi's end or their father's isn't the case.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
No idea with certainty.... maybe a very unhealthy INTJ? If what you say is true and you care at all for him; he should probably see someone. Just a thought. Unless you truly "don't see any good in him" then I suggest you find the time to move out? You don't strike me as a "kid" really; maybe young adult? Also get better if you're "sick." Good luck.
Thanks... I was thinking he might be an ISTJ or INTJ. Somehow I find it hard to think of him as an intuitive person but then again he always seems unaware of whats going on around him.

Oh and I'm moving out the upcoming summer. I just sorta wish that I could fix our relationship before it happens. Else I think I'm just never going to contact him again. >___<'

And thanks, I am indeed having a flu/fever right now. ;(
 

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Throw away MBTI for a moment. Ask yourself "what has shaped my father's world or what has he experienced to lead him to behave in such manners?" (childhood, education, profession, marriage, military, etc) When you are able to look at him from this light and understand his behavior, it may give you a better understanding of him. When you understand, you can communicate with him. Overall, he seems miserable ... hence the drinking to not have to deal with his issues.

I do have to say that, as a parent, there is no excuse for some of his behaviors. A parent may not always be a friend, but a parent's duty is to provide a safe and stable environment for their children ... both physically and emotionally. If my child ever asked me "Why are you so miserable?" ... it would be the rude awakening I would need to change.

If you asked him for a hug, what would he do?
 

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Throw away MBTI for a moment. Ask yourself "what has shaped my father's world or what has he experienced to lead him to behave in such manners?" (childhood, education, profession, marriage, military, etc) When you are able to look at him from this light and understand his behavior, it may give you a better understanding of him. When you understand, you can communicate with him. Overall, he seems miserable ... hence the drinking to not have to deal with his issues.

I do have to say that, as a parent, there is no excuse for some of his behaviors. A parent may not always be a friend, but a parent's duty is to provide a safe and stable environment for their children ... both physically and emotionally. If my child ever asked me "Why are you so miserable?" ... it would be the rude awakening I would need to change.

If you asked him for a hug, what would he do?

I once told my father that If he's miserable he should seek help instead of releasing it on us. He actually got even more enraged lol.
But the thing is, that I've really tried to make him understand his own actions and how they affect us others. The thing that drives me nuts is that he doesn't react at all...It's like he just...Ignores it. In the heat of an argument I'll tell him that he hurts me and that he's a lousy father and I'll say all kinds of things to hurt him even. And I understand that it's no good. But it annoys me how it wont change anything. Sometimes I've tried to pick the worst things to say. Like I feel like telling someone they're a bad parent would hurt. And maybe it has, who knows. But the thing is that it changes nothing for him. And a while back he was being really offensive and disrespectful towards my mom and I asked him with tears in my eyes if he had some sort of a disorder caus he can be so tactless. He looked at me with a "uh...what?"-face, like he didn't understand my point and continued watching the news. T__T

I'll have to admit that he reacts very sentimentally if I hug him. He'll be all "D:" and I feel like it means something to him. But to be honest I hate hugging him.. :(:( Mostly he disgusts me and hugging him feels so unnatural. *feels guilty*

ED// Anyway I think you have a point. It's just hard to overcome the history you know... Like sometimes I feel like he's just very wounded at the core and wants me to love him more. But at the same time he's actions show that he doesn't care at all. I do notice that whenever I'm loving towards him, he'll be sort of astonished by it and soften up. But it never lasts and to me it's just uncomfortable. Gee saying that makes me feel like I could totally help things for the better but it's too inconvenient and uncomfortable for me. T___T
 

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Wow, you're post makes me really angry. The reason I created this thread is because I'm hopeless with him. Especially caus I'm usually good at finding positive things about anyone. I'm usually able to see a reason behind people's actions, even when they annoy me. But my father is an exception. And before you've lived your whole life with him seemingly ruining your every single day, I find it rather sad that you come to judge me as being a hypocrite.

I feel guilty for disliking him so much and that's why I created this thread.

For your knowledge, my boyfriend hates him, my 2 brothers dislike him, my sister dislikes him. My friends dislike him. Even my mom complains and cries about him sometimes (I don't understand how she still loves him? :( ) I could write a book about he's bad parenting. And for your information I've tried to love him but as you can see, there really doesn't seem to be many reasons. T___T

He had a troublesome childhood. I don't know too much about it except that his father died when he was young, so I guess he never had a father figure to look up to.

ED// My point is that there MUST BE something good about him. Something that would make up for what he is in my eyes. And I've really tried to see that side of him. Honestly I just cant. :( Even my boyfriend keeps telling me it's hopeless. He has said that he doesn't want me to invite him to our wedding.
I see you edited your original post in the link i provided. Yep, you reworded it and took out the word superior.

I'm not really as self centered to believe such nowadays. However, I do sometimes feel like I'm sort of...Above others.

Try removing your ego from the situation, maybe that will help you have better relationships.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I see you edited your original post in the link i provided. Yep, you reworded it and took out the word superior.

I'm not really as self centered to believe such nowadays. However, I do sometimes feel like I'm sort of...Above others.

Try removing your ego from the situation, maybe that will help you have better relationships.
Wtf I didn't edit anything. :D:D:D Hahahaha. I have no idea where you got that from.

And the part you quoted is followed by "However, I do sometimes feel like I'm sort of...Above others. :( But not really in a rude, condescending way". And there was also a sad face which indicated that I feel bad for those feelings (Not saying that you should have obviously understood where I was coming from, but that's what I was thinking when I wrote it) You have clearly misunderstood my standpoint and I find that you are being very offensive and arrogant yourself right now.
 

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Wtf I didn't edit anything. :D:D:D Hahahaha. I have no idea where you got that from.

And the part you quoted is followed by "However, I do sometimes feel like I'm sort of...Above others. :( But not really in a rude, condescending way". And there was also a sad face which indicated that I feel bad for those feelings. You clearly just misunderstood my standpoint.
Yeah, you did, but anyway. Good luck, hopefully you can find some inner peace with yourself. It's take two people in order to reach an understanding, two people make it , or break it, and since your father isn't here to defend himself, hopefully you can make some of those changes also.
 
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@Tenshi What you can take away from this experience is how you would parent your children differently. Only he can help himself. It takes too much energy to wish for what you don't have, and instead try to embrace what you do have. Watch how his negativity has rubbed off on you and try to turn it into something constructive (like story writing or art). Release it, you don't need it.

<< hugs>>
 

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I understand her point. I understand that it takes two to tango. I admitted in my earlier posts that I changing my own actions could better the situation. I don't mind constructive criticism. But really @MuChApArAdOx to me it's like you're attacking me on a personal level (Your first post on this thread was offensive on it's own imo). You're calling me a liar and I don't tolerate it, it aggravates me and I can't help it. If there's one thing I'm proud of myself, it's honesty. And obviously there's not much new to say here since I've already told you my point. But if you're still going to accuse me of lying then I might just have to gather up a load of evidence any way possible to prove that I'm not lying.

I don't know about the time frame between the editing thing but I can say that my OP in the other thread was sent at 01:46PM, while you claimed I had edited that thread between 05:37 PM and 06:04 PM?. So I'd believe that if I had edited it then, there would be a note saying that the post was edited...?


ED// And yeah I admit that I'm getting too aggravated but seriously, if you're innocent and being accused of something you have to prove you're right! Just admit that you were mistaken or something and there'll be no hard feelings. x)
But you're more proving she is "right" by this method. She brought up your so called "ego" before and if you go as far as "declare a flame war" and respond back to each post she says negatively then you're just proving her right about your "ego." Is it a chance she is a troll and just messing with you? Maybe... same goes for you but such a thing is unimportant really. Just saying; she doesn't know you in person (I assume at least) so in my opinion if you keep going at it like this you're only proving her right more than yourself.
 
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But you're more proving she is "right" by this method. She brought up your so called "ego" before and if you go as far as "declare a flame war" and respond back to each post she says negatively then your just proving her right about your "ego." Is it a chance she is a troll and just messing with you? Maybe... same goes for you but such a thing is unimportant really. Just saying; she doesn't know you in person (I assume at least) so if in my opinion if you keep going at it like this you're only proving her right more than yourself.
Ahhh....But I was never claiming that I don't have an ego. I'm only claiming that I didn't edit that post. :laughing:
 

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Ahhh....But I was never claiming that I don't have an ego. I'm only claiming that I didn't edit that post. :laughing:
What she is trying to say about you though you goof ball. :p She never called you a "liar" but only called you out on having a big "ego" with the whole "superior" thing. You took it as her calling you a "liar" because of her claiming you edited the post and then you claim you didn't and blah, blah, blah... point is she was really only going for your "ego" and you misinterpreted it as "lying" when there was no such thing really.
 

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What she is trying to say about you though you goof ball. :p She never called you a "liar" but only called you out on having a big "ego" with the whole "superior" thing. You took it as her calling you a "liar" because of her claiming you edited the post and then you claim you didn't and blah, blah, blah... point is she was really only going for your "ego" and you misinterpreted it as "lying" when there was no such thing really.
Hehe, if this is true, then sure I'm guilty. :) But honestly, it's hard to be receptive when you are being accused of so many things all at once.
But yeah she was claiming that I was lying, at least that's how I understood it. In MY EYES, she wanted to put me down ever since the first comment. The way I took it was that she comes here to tell me I have a god syndrome and that that's why my father SEEMS the way he is. In reality, I am the one to blame but I'm too egoistic to realize it. And that I'm a hypocrite. And also, claiming that I try to make myself look better than I really am by editing that post and then lying about it.

Obviously, I'm not perfect and like I said, there must be an underlying reason my father acts the way he does. Maybe it's me? I made a thread to help me cope with my situation and to gain any further insight on it.

And really, if the sole meaning of MuChApArAdOx's posts were to help me then thanks, I appreciate it. But it honestly did not seem that way to me.

And I dare to say that I would've been able to let it go if it wasn't for the claiming I was lying thing. :--D But yeah, this flame war is silly.
 

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Hehe, if this is true, then sure I'm guilty. :) But honestly, it's hard to be receptive when you are being accused of so many things all at once.
But yeah she was claiming that I was lying, at least that's how I understood it. In MY EYES, she wanted to put me down ever since the first comment. The way I took it was that she comes here to tell me I have a god syndrome and that that's why my father SEEMS the way he is. In reality, I am the one to blame but I'm too egoistic to realize it. And also, claiming that I try to make myself look better than I really am by editing that post and then lying about it.

Obviously, I'm not perfect and like I said, there must be an underlying reason my father acts the way he does. Maybe it's me? I made a thread to help me cope with my situation and to gain any further insight on it.

And really, if the sole meaning of MuChApArAdOx's posts were to help me then thanks, I appreciate it. But it honestly did not seem that way to me.

And I dare to say that I would've been able to let it go if it wasn't for the claiming I was lying thing. :--D But yeah, this flame war is silly.
Just relax a bit and wait for more insight to come here I guess and not worry about what she said. Best of luck! :)
 
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Hey @Tenshi, listen, don't get over emotional about what some people are saying to you here. You have every right to vent if you'd like. Whoever is trying to make themselves look like Jebus with a streak of bad-assery needs a reality check.

Anyways, I see your thread as a way to cope and a way to get insight.

No one has a right to intervene into someone's life unless given permission. Tenshi has given me a limit and I need to work with that; I may suggest alternatives to her perspectives in a NON-hostile manner.

Okay, well, Tenshi, I too dislike my father. I've learned to cope with it by thinking that if anything connects me to this man, it's biology. Other than that, there's nothing more to it.
 
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