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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is awfully stupid, but let's go on, not that much...
well...
when you guys had your first relationship? I'm not meaning when you lost your virginity, but your 1st real relationship. What I'm meaning is if you lost your virginity to a stranger or something, it doesn't count, and the boy you've dated 2 days when you were 12, neither. how it was? explain, and what you first learnt, and all.

Anyway, this forum is pretty dead, and that's soo draining. so i wanted to reboot it :)
 
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First thanks for coming up with something cool to write about. My first relationship I dated a girl all four years in high school. She taught me not to be scared of women but she also taught me that although we can love someone dearly it is more important to be true to yourself than the couple. She wanted to get married and have lots of kids but I had dreams and lots of plans(intj). I knew I would never be truly happy if I stayed in that small town but at that point in my life she was my whole world. So in leaving her I learned a lot about myself.
 

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Well, my first relationship only lasted a couple months. I was 15, he was 22. He took my virginity. My dad threatened him with statutory rape. I got sent to live with my mom 1200 miles away. I learned... to hide my diary better.
But, if we're not counting that...
My next relationship was really special. He was my best friend. We broke up when I moved back to live with my dad. We spent the next 6 years both wanting to be with each other, but the distance made it impossible. Then, he just stopped talking to me. I was hurt, at first, but he did us both a favor.
I think I've gained knowledge from every relationship I've been in, but it doesn't come right away. It takes me a while to step back and be able to look at things more objectively.
 

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I'm still waiting patiently for it. :blushed:
what are you waiting for? a guilt edged invitation? Go get em tiger :wink:


Okay, so I wasn't very confident at all when I was younger and had not a clue about the opposite sex, actually I was scared of them too :unsure: so it was when I was almost 16 that I had my first boyfriend. Then I suddenly realised I was very fussy and promptly dumped him after about 5 weeks because he fell short of my expectations.

I'm glad that I was so shy back then though, it kept me out of trouble so it was a good thing. Also I was the only one in my circle of friends who didn't "have to" be seeing someone to be happy. I was quite happy within myself and didn't need a boy to validate me.
 

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I don't count my first relationships. I just count my first engagements on (I was engaged to two other men before I actually married my ex husband). So my first fiancee taught me that there were incredibly, loving and patient men in the world. Men that could love you so much, they were willing to let you go and pursue a career. He set the standard by teaching me early that some men really crave commitment and can be wonderful givers.

This man taught me that it was okay to trust men, because some men (like him) are wonderful with your heart and could be trusted. I believe this man taught me that no matter what happens to me and how I've been hurt, I never need to be that bitter type of woman who is distrustful of men. Because of him, I am always aware that there are incredible male creatures out there who exist and who I can freely open myself to.

Because I was treated so well in my "first" relationship, I've been able to remain positive about future relationships with men.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well, my first relationship only lasted a couple months. I was 15, he was 22. He took my virginity. My dad threatened him with statutory rape. I got sent to live with my mom 1200 miles away. I learned... to hide my diary better.
But, if we're not counting that...
My next relationship was really special. He was my best friend. We broke up when I moved back to live with my dad. We spent the next 6 years both wanting to be with each other, but the distance made it impossible. Then, he just stopped talking to me. I was hurt, at first, but he did us both a favor.
I think I've gained knowledge from every relationship I've been in, but it doesn't come right away. It takes me a while to step back and be able to look at things more objectively.
Maybe your experience is the one I relate to the most, I feel like you.
By the way, extremely sad the statutory rape thing. I'm sorry.
T.T. I wantd to cry. It's to me sick that love can be a crime in the world. To me it's the definite act of sickness of the world. And pleasure. We're making sex and pleasure crimes. whatever.
 

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My first relationship started when I just turned 17 and lasted until I was almost 27. Nasty co-dependent thing that was. Good sex though.
 

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My first relationship started when I just turned 17 and lasted until I was almost 27. Nasty co-dependent thing that was. Good sex though.
My goodness! I am surprised at these lengthy relationships at such a young age. I was still finding myself and had other stuff on my mind back then. I am also surprised to see this was posted by an INTJ, somehow I imagined INTJs not having the time in between their pursuits of the mind to date.:laughing: Maybe it has to do with the type 1 you and Jack both share ??
 

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My goodness! I am surprised at these lengthy relationships at such a young age. I was still finding myself and had other stuff on my mind back then. I am also surprised to see this was posted by an INTJ, somehow I imagined INTJs not having the time in between their pursuits of the mind to date.:laughing:
Speaking for myself INTJs are loyal and know a good thing when we find it (a girl crazy enough to put up with our unskilled butts).
 

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My first relationship was with an INTP when I was 16. He chased me until I caught him.

I owned him in true high school ENTJ fashion until he got tired of me pushing him around and telling him what to do. He was the only guy that ever broke up with me. Then he went out with a good friend of mine and made out with her in front of me all the time. Until she dumped him.

Ah, puppy love.
 

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My first relationship started when I was eighteen. It lasted until I was in my mid twenties. The fact that I'm typing this and not in prison or the graveyard is pretty much a miracle. I've been unable to maintain a relationship since that one, because I have some serious trust issues left over. It's on the therapy to do list.
 

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My first relationship developed out of an interesting and for me still confusing situation. I had wanted a girlfriend for a long time. A loooooooong time. What I was most waiting for was my first kiss. Ever since I figured out it was okay to kiss girls, I wanted to do it. Turns out girls didn't particularly wish to kiss me. Being a social bottom-feeder in a remote high school and the general social awkwardness associated with INTs, I didn't look like having much luck.

When I finally went to university, when I was 19, I found a small group of friends in my residence, who still considered me weird, but wanted me around. There was one girl who I butted heads with a bit, and really didn't find attractive in any way. She was being asked to leave the university due her poor academic record and decided seducing me and giving me a little life experience along the way would sort me out. After numerous misunderstandings on my part, I got my first kiss, about half an hour before I lost my virginity.

She moved away a week or so later, but I had fallen hard. I spent the next 6 months calling and writing to her, and she occasionally reciprocated. Even when she went on with her life, I still thought we had something. It resulted in her telling me in a phone call on my 20th birthday that she was seeing someone else and she thought she was pregnant to him. I'd like to say this is the first time I'd had things end on or around my birthday, but....

That STILL didn't throw me off. I kept on calling when I could, and despite having my fragile feelings splattered all over the place, I somehow managed to continue on. She called me once about 6 months later, asking for an address. I complied. The only other time I saw her was briefly in a cafeteria, maybe a year after she ended things. She seemed happy to see me. I don't think I ever really cared.

Most of my other relationships have been a little better, although I'd be lying if I didn't think my general disappointment and disgust that stemmed from the first one hadn't tainted them. It's said that one judge's all future relationships by one's first one - if that is so, I'd rather not consider this one at all, and forget one or two other situations while I'm at it.
 

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I was 19 and chatting with some random people online when I was bored of studying and doing homework. Most of them were from my home country as we used same chat, but not everybody. You could convo random people from all over the world if you wanted to, weren't limited to only chatting with your friends. So when I got bored I just talked to random people. One evening I get another random convo invite and accept it. The conversation doesn't quite fit same pattern as many others have followed, so this gets me interested. For one, he didn't ask me to send him pics during the first 5 minutes of conversation. Later turned out he was a student in same major as I was and was studying/working very near by. It also turned out that we have same first name. So we meet for lunch. Then I stood him up, but felt bad because of it and came to 3rd date. Both of us were kind of screwed up at that time. I was on anti-depressants failing a quarter of classes because I couldn't motivate myself to do anything. He was really depressed because his past girlfriend committed suicide half a year ago. He blamed himself for it because they had a fight just before she did it, but from I gathered later she did it really because her family was horrible. He bought flowers, took me out, and made every indication that he was serious about being with me and that he liked me very much, so 6 weeks after our first chat we were officially in a relationship. I guess this would be an example of people just clicking together. Still a surprise to me when I think about it. It lasted several years. We did end up separating, then we got back together again and then separated again and that second time it was final.
 

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I don't really keep track of such events, probably 18-22? Haven't been in many relationships, only one that really mattered to me.
 

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I had just turned 18 and he had just gotten out of prison and just turned 21. I had never even kissed a guy before that lol. We lasted all of 3 months, when he broke up with me claiming he had to sort out his life. This was not unexpected at all as we had both been sort of distant for a couple weeks proir. I had fun while it lasted and I have never had any hard feelings about it.
 

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...Ah...Well, I suppose it counts if I'm still in the midst of my first relationship. ;;^.^ Although, I must say, I'm a bit daunted by all the depressing stories of first relationships on this thread.

I met my boyfriend at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, and...we weren't really too fond of each other at first. We were the top two people called back for a dramatic role we both wanted (The Stage Manager inOur Town). As he was a freshman, the director was a little more familiar with me, and somehow, I got the role (the only girl in a pool of about eight guys). He landed a supporting part. I remember being quite impressed with his audition, though; he's always been a fantastic actor.

Needless to say, things were frosty between us throughout the two months leading up to opening. (I take equal blame for making them frosty; as an INTJ, I'm good at that.) I was vaguely aware that he was dating another girl in the cast, and we sort of avoided each other.

The longest conversation I remember having with him after the audition was on the second or third night of performance. He and his girlfriend were sitting in the darkened classroom that serves as our green room, and I the only other person there, pacing while I waited to go onstage for one of my long speeches. He asked why I was pacing, and I laughed and said I was just a little nervous and kept pacing. He looked taken aback and said, "Why are you nervous? You're very good." As cool as we had been to each other, I really respected his opinion and was surprised that he would come out and say that to someone who'd never gone out of her way to be particularly nice to him. From that point on, the stiffness had more or less vanished.

We ended up playing major roles in the spring play and we talked a bit more, in a friendly manner. There was a lot of onstage interaction required (I was playing his mad but beloved aunt) and that congeniality onstage sort of seeped into our offstage relationship. Admittedly, we weren't really close friends and didn't really spend any time together out of the theater, but I enjoyed working with him onstage. We didn't see each other at all over summer.

In my junior year, we both landed large roles again, and though we only had one major scene together, we had a blast doing it. It was the only scene for which the director never provided a lot of comment and criticism. Because the cast was fairly small, I suppose we talked a bit more during rehearsals and became "friends" as the term is usually applied. (He was still seeing the girlfriend from the previous year.) Our two weeks of performance marked the largest and most puzzling change in our relationship, though. The intermission music could be heard quite well backstage...40's music. He asked me if I knew how to tango and I laughed and said I didn't, and I'd probably fall on my face.

And so, he set about teaching me to tango over the intermissions of our performance nights. (I was awful, but he was a complete gentleman about it.) There was a rather surreal accidental almost-kiss that we both laughed about. I fell for him, though. ;;^.^ He lent me his jacket when I lamented having to wear nylons and a dress at nine pm in December in a room with no heater. Production ended and we didn't see each other often. About a month later, I heard in passing that he and his girlfriend had broken up, but it seemed to me more of a reason to give him space to sort out his thoughts, as I wasn't even sure if I was in them. About a week later, he asked my best friend (a mutual friend) to a dance, and I sort of sighed and prided myself on my wisdom. She told him she thought it was much too soon but would be willing to go with him purely as a friend. Nothing really ever came of them...

In the spring semester, he was unable to do the play because of scheduling conflicts with band. I was disappointed with a minor role--but it left me a lot of free time backstage. He came to see the play three times...and ended up spending the second two backstage with me. He taught me how to waltz and was the first and only guy ever to bring me flowers. I was still absolutely uncertain what the nature of our relationship was (I stuck with "friends" as a safe bet), but we did dig up the phone numbers we'd exchanged a year previously and call each other once or twice--strictly about the play.

This time, we kept in touch over the summer through Facebook. I got even more confused and conflicted, and I suppose he was uncertain (as I'd blurted out in an embarrassed manner that I saw him as a younger brother when someone teased me about the two of us, and I suppose he got wind of it.) He took to greeting me with "Hey, gorgeous," and telling me every so often that a photo I'd posted was beautiful. I, in my awkward INTJ-ness, remained confused, but tried my best to give casual hints. Eventually, I flat out asked my best friend (the one from before) whether or not he liked me, and she responded that he had for a while, but she hadn't been encouraging because she hadn't known about my feelings. Being shy, I asked her to talk to him for me. She did--eventually just blatantly telling him to ask me out--and we ended up together.

Still going strong. ;;^.^ He's a lot more expressive of his feelings and emotions, though, which makes me a little anxious because I'm bad at showing mine. The first time he said "I love you," I seized up and couldn't say anything for about twenty minutes. I'm terrible at that sort of thing, but I do love him.

...So...Does this obscenely long narrative sound like the poster-child story of a warm, friendly ENFJ and a socially-awkard INTJ at all? Because that's just what it is. Sorry for the length. ;;>.>
 
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