I was 21 when I had my first relationship. I feel ya on it taking that long. Pretty much sucks. When it did happen I was so retarded at relationshipping and what I was supposed to do. I didn't know it was weird to begin dating someone and not kiss until it had been 2 or 3 months into the relationship. There really should be a handbook for relationships for those of us who got a late start.The average age of first relationships in this thread is 16.
I've been told by someone wise that the internet doesn't count, and I will agree. Given this, 20 and counting is somewhat... rather... very disappointing. :sad:
It gets easier with age because people -- both men and women -- generally have a more refined sense of what they want and what other people want. Social interactions of all types tend to become easier as someone matures socially. The idea that people are "old and desperate" at that point is idiotic and actually reflects insecurity on your part. I get the impression that you don't see relationships as being based on personal merits but circumstances. I could speculate as to why, but I'm not sure it would help.That's cause people are old and desperate at that point.
Women are staring down a life of being alone and panicking.
Oh, I can relate to this... and I've found that girl 6 years ago... first as a good friend and then as something more... :happy:Speaking for myself INTJs are loyal and know a good thing when we find it (a girl crazy enough to put up with our unskilled butts).
I am uncomfortably close 30 does that mean I should start worrying.:laughing: But like someone mentioned earlier still waiting. Unfortunately need to find a new job first before I end up getting fired from my current job that I hate so much :laughing:
Wow quite the story but yeah INTJ and ENFJ are one of the best matches out there my best friend is actually an ENFJ...Ah...Well, I suppose it counts if I'm still in the midst of my first relationship. ;;^.^ Although, I must say, I'm a bit daunted by all the depressing stories of first relationships on this thread.
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, and...we weren't really too fond of each other at first. We were the top two people called back for a dramatic role we both wanted (The Stage Manager inOur Town). As he was a freshman, the director was a little more familiar with me, and somehow, I got the role (the only girl in a pool of about eight guys). He landed a supporting part. I remember being quite impressed with his audition, though; he's always been a fantastic actor.
Needless to say, things were frosty between us throughout the two months leading up to opening. (I take equal blame for making them frosty; as an INTJ, I'm good at that.) I was vaguely aware that he was dating another girl in the cast, and we sort of avoided each other.
The longest conversation I remember having with him after the audition was on the second or third night of performance. He and his girlfriend were sitting in the darkened classroom that serves as our green room, and I the only other person there, pacing while I waited to go onstage for one of my long speeches. He asked why I was pacing, and I laughed and said I was just a little nervous and kept pacing. He looked taken aback and said, "Why are you nervous? You're very good." As cool as we had been to each other, I really respected his opinion and was surprised that he would come out and say that to someone who'd never gone out of her way to be particularly nice to him. From that point on, the stiffness had more or less vanished.
We ended up playing major roles in the spring play and we talked a bit more, in a friendly manner. There was a lot of onstage interaction required (I was playing his mad but beloved aunt) and that congeniality onstage sort of seeped into our offstage relationship. Admittedly, we weren't really close friends and didn't really spend any time together out of the theater, but I enjoyed working with him onstage. We didn't see each other at all over summer.
In my junior year, we both landed large roles again, and though we only had one major scene together, we had a blast doing it. It was the only scene for which the director never provided a lot of comment and criticism. Because the cast was fairly small, I suppose we talked a bit more during rehearsals and became "friends" as the term is usually applied. (He was still seeing the girlfriend from the previous year.) Our two weeks of performance marked the largest and most puzzling change in our relationship, though. The intermission music could be heard quite well backstage...40's music. He asked me if I knew how to tango and I laughed and said I didn't, and I'd probably fall on my face.
And so, he set about teaching me to tango over the intermissions of our performance nights. (I was awful, but he was a complete gentleman about it.) There was a rather surreal accidental almost-kiss that we both laughed about. I fell for him, though. ;;^.^ He lent me his jacket when I lamented having to wear nylons and a dress at nine pm in December in a room with no heater. Production ended and we didn't see each other often. About a month later, I heard in passing that he and his girlfriend had broken up, but it seemed to me more of a reason to give him space to sort out his thoughts, as I wasn't even sure if I was in them. About a week later, he asked my best friend (a mutual friend) to a dance, and I sort of sighed and prided myself on my wisdom. She told him she thought it was much too soon but would be willing to go with him purely as a friend. Nothing really ever came of them...
In the spring semester, he was unable to do the play because of scheduling conflicts with band. I was disappointed with a minor role--but it left me a lot of free time backstage. He came to see the play three times...and ended up spending the second two backstage with me. He taught me how to waltz and was the first and only guy ever to bring me flowers. I was still absolutely uncertain what the nature of our relationship was (I stuck with "friends" as a safe bet), but we did dig up the phone numbers we'd exchanged a year previously and call each other once or twice--strictly about the play.
This time, we kept in touch over the summer through Facebook. I got even more confused and conflicted, and I suppose he was uncertain (as I'd blurted out in an embarrassed manner that I saw him as a younger brother when someone teased me about the two of us, and I suppose he got wind of it.) He took to greeting me with "Hey, gorgeous," and telling me every so often that a photo I'd posted was beautiful. I, in my awkward INTJ-ness, remained confused, but tried my best to give casual hints. Eventually, I flat out asked my best friend (the one from before) whether or not he liked me, and she responded that he had for a while, but she hadn't been encouraging because she hadn't known about my feelings. Being shy, I asked her to talk to him for me. She did--eventually just blatantly telling him to ask me out--and we ended up together.
Still going strong. ;;^.^ He's a lot more expressive of his feelings and emotions, though, which makes me a little anxious because I'm bad at showing mine. The first time he said "I love you," I seized up and couldn't say anything for about twenty minutes. I'm terrible at that sort of thing, but I do love him.
...So...Does this obscenely long narrative sound like the poster-child story of a warm, friendly ENFJ and a socially-awkard INTJ at all? Because that's just what it is. Sorry for the length. ;;>.>