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Nah, it doesn't matter. Once you get to your thirties it gets time to worry. Also, I've found it gets easier with age - disturbingly so.
1) Seems to be getting harder.
2) At this rate, I will be posting something along these lines when I'm in my thirties.
 

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Hmm, I was 19 and he was 29. Talk about two people in totally different places in their lives. Anyway, he pursued for about 6 months before I, being the clueless INTJ that I am, clued in to what was going on. It lasted about 8 months. College life 6 hours away and life in general were the cause of the split. That and he couldn't keep his jeans zipped.

I count it as a learning experience. In some things, older and more experienced is a plus. I learned to trust my gut feeling and go with it when it tells me to gtfo. Also, when people in your life that know you well tell you point blank that someone is not a good fit for you, you should listen and take what they're saying into consideration.

I didn't see anyone specifically for a couple of years after that. Then I dated a guy I ultimately got engaged to. It was a rough period in my life, not sure how I managed to come out whole. The guy had very little to do with that part, I had issues and dependencies that were unhealthy at best. After I had my wake up call and got my head straight again, I told him I couldn't marry him and that he should be with someone that loved him in return. The fondness I had for him was not enough to sustain a marriage and he was worthy of more than I could give him. I felt like an asshole and a failure but ultimately, it was the best thing for each of us.

Lesson learned from that one: just because you're a good match on paper, doesn't mean you're a good match in reality.

Current SO is an INTJ too and for some reason, even though he drives me absolutely crazy at times, we're a wonderful pair. He says in the odd emo moment, that when it's right...sometimes you just know and he knows. I know too.

Sorry for the ramblingness.
 

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The average age of first relationships in this thread is 16.

I've been told by someone wise that the internet doesn't count, and I will agree. Given this, 20 and counting is somewhat... rather... very disappointing. :sad:
I was 21 when I had my first relationship. I feel ya on it taking that long. Pretty much sucks. When it did happen I was so retarded at relationshipping and what I was supposed to do. I didn't know it was weird to begin dating someone and not kiss until it had been 2 or 3 months into the relationship. There really should be a handbook for relationships for those of us who got a late start.
 

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I really doubt you can call that a late start. You start when you are ready and have someone in your life to start it with. It can be 16, it can be 40, does not matter. I really despise the whole mentality of certain things you must go through at certain ages. At 15 i was not even thinking about relationships yet.
 

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Nah, it doesn't matter. Once you get to your thirties it gets time to worry. Also, I've found it gets easier with age - disturbingly so.
That's cause people are old and desperate at that point.
Women are staring down a life of being alone and panicking.
 

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That's cause people are old and desperate at that point.
Women are staring down a life of being alone and panicking.
It gets easier with age because people -- both men and women -- generally have a more refined sense of what they want and what other people want. Social interactions of all types tend to become easier as someone matures socially. The idea that people are "old and desperate" at that point is idiotic and actually reflects insecurity on your part. I get the impression that you don't see relationships as being based on personal merits but circumstances. I could speculate as to why, but I'm not sure it would help.
 

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I was 16, he was 15. It lasted 4 and a half years. I learned how not to have a healthy relationship. On the surface everything was perfect, or close to it, but just below that we were both immature and manipulative of each other. Neither of us knew how to be completely honest with each other and we had a 'stay together at all costs' mentality that made us seem well put together when really we were growing apart and hiding it from each other. On top of that, he was really religious and pulling me down the rabbit hole of cultism and intense sexual repression. I almost married into that relationship. :confused:

Coming out of it I learned how to be honest with my partner. Hiding motives and feelings just complicates things more. At least when everything is out in the open you can deal with it all and know where you stand.
 

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My first relationship was the best one was 14 in 8th grade we went out for almost 2 years. I found out she had a drug addiction I tried to help her but she couldn't stop I dumped her at last year at 16. It's true ENFPs stay in bad relationships in hopes they turn around but it took me 6months to make the decision. Now I'm single plan to stay that way for a long time I've already dated 4 different women this year but all attempts failed . Plan to be single for a very long time. I've learned my lesson don't look back walk the present run for the future
 

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My first relationship happened just after I started grade 12.
A co-worker introduced him to me and it was instant chemistry. We were inseparable for a while before we even started dating. Once we agreed on a relationship, the next 8 months was bliss. We never slept together, didn't say "I Love You" until over 2 months in, and had so much fun together. In some ways, I feel like my relationship with Steven has been the only real relationship I've had. We were carefree, laughed uncontrollably and enjoyed each other's company. We were sexual, but like I said, never took the step had went all the way. I learned a lot about myself, about him and about love in general in that year where he was the only one on my mind.

Things ended, of course, and I was a mess.

I'm in my second relationship since him and it's far from what Steven and I had.
Even my last relationship (with R) was exponentially different than my first. But at the same time, I was closer to R than I was with Steven.
It's amazing to see the differences in relationships that's for sure.
 

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I know I am not supposed to post the 2 day relationships but I am anyway.

1. In sixth grade I decided the next course of action to being cool, after I had gathered a bunch of cool freinds, was to get a boyfreind, so I picked I guy that I knew would say yes, and asked him to be my boyfreind. I did not like him like him, but what had to be done had to be done.

2. Only 2 days after that, one of the boys I had a real crush on asked me out, so I said yes and dumped the other guy. It lasted 2 weeks because I moved to another state just after. He was shy and had not gone through puberty yet. I on the other hand had, so I wanted to kiss, so I pressured him into it. It was just a peck but he did not like it.

I was a horrible kid!

At least I knew how to get what I wanted. I won't do what it takes to get what I want anymore because I consider it wrong to disregard others feelings when making things happen.
 

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First real relationship?

13. Met at a roller-skating rink. LDR. He lived about 50 miles away from me. Our phone bill rang up to about $300 per month for each person(I did chores- so bad, so bad).. He was from the ghetto, and would have his buddies drive down in the suburbs (where I lived) to visit me, bumpin up the speakers late at night, while he'd walk out with his boombox. oontz. oontz. oontz.

What I learned? Wow.. how much it feels to be 'infatuated,' not love.. it just felt great!! Would I date him again if I could? No.

Do I still think of him as often? Nope.
 

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Speaking for myself INTJs are loyal and know a good thing when we find it (a girl crazy enough to put up with our unskilled butts).
Oh, I can relate to this... and I've found that girl 6 years ago... first as a good friend and then as something more... :happy:

My first relationship? Somewhere when I was 15 or so. I was in the last stage of the stupidity of trying to date guys (I realized I was lesbian as a kid as information was never denied to me. By the age of 3, I knew what period and "making babies" were. By the age of 8 I knew what homosexuals are and by the age of 11 I was 99% sure I only liked girls).
Lasted some 6 months but I ended up breaking up with him as I simply couldn't put up the facade anymore. I told him why I couldn't be with him and being that he was from a very religious family, I never heard a thing from him again.
I can't say I was sad, if anything, I was happy as it helped me conclude my journey and make up my mind: no guys.
 

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My first real relationship where marriage was actually considered was when I was 20 years old. I was sick of being friends with benefits, ending up wanting more out of the relationship, and them not wanting more. I also wanted to be able to do it as much as I wanted and being friends with benefits meant we only did it every once in a while. So, I found a guy I thought was attractive enough, I could hang out and have fun with, and I knew had enough hots for me to say yes if I asked him to be exclusive. I spent 1 month dating him without having sex and then asked him if he wanted to be exclusive.

It was a horrible relationship. We fought all the time and broke up and got back together about once a month for 3 years. He got addicted to pain pills 5 months into the relationship after I warned him that he liked it too much and should stick to doing never more than once a week so he would not get too addicted. He kept it a secret after I warned him and in two months he was up to min 10 loratabs a day to not go through withdrawal symptoms. He was a huge disappointment his hole life to his family and then to me. I broke up with him for five months after that and then got back together. I stayed with him until he was two months away from successfully completing the methadone program 2 years later. He was emotionally abusive. He would tell me aggressively that I was ugly, stupid, selfish, incapable, and anything he could think of to stab when we were in fights. Then he would come back and say it was all a lie cause he was mad. We went six months at the end without this happening and he bought me a ring and tried to ask me to marry him on the way home in the car from picking it out at the store. I told him I would not say yes unless he made it a semi surprise and ask me romantically. I came back from family vacation to find him saying how much fun he had with his other girl friends while I was gone in a very intentionally mean way. I broke up with him for good.

I will never date anyone for any reason other than romantic love ever again. Even though I ended up loving him, it was more like love of an annoying, mean, reckless little brother than a romantic partner.
 

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My first ever relationship was when I was 15, and it was a looooong distance relationship (bicoastal Canada). It lasted two years where we would see each other a couple times a month and it was an amazing passionate relationship and we complimented each other very well. Now that I look back, I will type her as an ISTP and perhaps explains why I still melt in their presence.

The relationship just went the natural way long distance ones go, eventually things got stale and it got difficult to maintain and we moved on. Also this was before ICQ, so my phone bills gave my Dad a heart attack. I was the one where it was hardest to move on from - so from this I learned to have independence in a relationship. And it led to relationships that failed because I was too independent :). We are still good friends and I will always miss her.
 

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Hmm...I do consider the relationship I'm in with Ilphithra right now my first real one. We met around 6 years ago and took as around a year to finally start dating. While in general I had no objections to dating a woman I also never had a reason to do so. Well, she was the first woman I ever fell for and what can I say...still in love <3

But just for the record, I had a long distance relationship with a baby-banana guy when I was 21 (I knew Ilph already but I hadn't clicked at that point though I was already very fond of her). He was 17 and from the US. I went to visit him for 10 days and he expected me to sleep with him during that time - I never did because after meeting I simply didn't feel attracted to him like that (that was before I knew about the baby-banana). A few weeks later he broke up with me because it was , in his opinion, weird that I hadn't slept with him after 4 months (can you imagine? 4 WHOLE MONTHS). Also seems he couldn't cope with me being overweight and wasn't able to take the pressure from his family to break up (his dad was around twice my size and he was going that way too). Well, always been glad I never slept with him. I'm a happy puppy now ^^
 

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<---- scary good looking 33 year old boy here! I mean I really am good looking.

But as a heterosexual man with health problems...

i) I have yet to lose my virginity but I tend to think this doesn't count since I'm a man.
ii) I have yet to have any relationship...that is a date that is meaningful, intimate or sexual.
iii) I have yet to kiss a woman.

Does talking to women count? :tongue:

At least I can laugh.

I can discuss a deep meaningful friendship I had that was spiritually, emotionally and intellectually rewarding recently. But I feel that doesn't count. I was talking to this amazing INFP girl for a year. It was the deepest conversation I ever had. We literally wrote book long responses to each other. Felt so natural and it stopped now.
 

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Nah, it doesn't matter. Once you get to your thirties it gets time to worry. Also, I've found it gets easier with age - disturbingly so.
I am uncomfortably close 30 does that mean I should start worrying.:laughing: But like someone mentioned earlier still waiting. Unfortunately need to find a new job first before I end up getting fired from my current job that I hate so much :laughing:
 

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First and only relationship I've had so far was back in '07, when I was 16. I was with a girl who was literally a parasite; she fed off of my emotions just so she could feel better about herself. She never felt anything was her fault. She always made me feel bad whenever I didn't do something she wanted to do. She also had cystic fibrosis, which didn't help much.

It wasn't until after the relationship ended 6 months later that I realized that she had a personality disorder. I know it may sound like I'm being harsh, and I probably am. She'll die by the age of 30, at maximum. She also has a horrible family who doesn't take any responsibility. I can't help but feel bad for her, even after everything she's done to me. Ans as much as I wanted to try to be with her, we were always going to be fire and ice: I'm someone who's hard on himself and always looking out for others first, and she's always someone who makes people feel bad for her own consciousness.

Here's to my next one with hope...with whomever it may be...:proud:
 

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...Ah...Well, I suppose it counts if I'm still in the midst of my first relationship. ;;^.^ Although, I must say, I'm a bit daunted by all the depressing stories of first relationships on this thread.

I met my boyfriend at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, and...we weren't really too fond of each other at first. We were the top two people called back for a dramatic role we both wanted (The Stage Manager inOur Town). As he was a freshman, the director was a little more familiar with me, and somehow, I got the role (the only girl in a pool of about eight guys). He landed a supporting part. I remember being quite impressed with his audition, though; he's always been a fantastic actor.

Needless to say, things were frosty between us throughout the two months leading up to opening. (I take equal blame for making them frosty; as an INTJ, I'm good at that.) I was vaguely aware that he was dating another girl in the cast, and we sort of avoided each other.

The longest conversation I remember having with him after the audition was on the second or third night of performance. He and his girlfriend were sitting in the darkened classroom that serves as our green room, and I the only other person there, pacing while I waited to go onstage for one of my long speeches. He asked why I was pacing, and I laughed and said I was just a little nervous and kept pacing. He looked taken aback and said, "Why are you nervous? You're very good." As cool as we had been to each other, I really respected his opinion and was surprised that he would come out and say that to someone who'd never gone out of her way to be particularly nice to him. From that point on, the stiffness had more or less vanished.

We ended up playing major roles in the spring play and we talked a bit more, in a friendly manner. There was a lot of onstage interaction required (I was playing his mad but beloved aunt) and that congeniality onstage sort of seeped into our offstage relationship. Admittedly, we weren't really close friends and didn't really spend any time together out of the theater, but I enjoyed working with him onstage. We didn't see each other at all over summer.

In my junior year, we both landed large roles again, and though we only had one major scene together, we had a blast doing it. It was the only scene for which the director never provided a lot of comment and criticism. Because the cast was fairly small, I suppose we talked a bit more during rehearsals and became "friends" as the term is usually applied. (He was still seeing the girlfriend from the previous year.) Our two weeks of performance marked the largest and most puzzling change in our relationship, though. The intermission music could be heard quite well backstage...40's music. He asked me if I knew how to tango and I laughed and said I didn't, and I'd probably fall on my face.

And so, he set about teaching me to tango over the intermissions of our performance nights. (I was awful, but he was a complete gentleman about it.) There was a rather surreal accidental almost-kiss that we both laughed about. I fell for him, though. ;;^.^ He lent me his jacket when I lamented having to wear nylons and a dress at nine pm in December in a room with no heater. Production ended and we didn't see each other often. About a month later, I heard in passing that he and his girlfriend had broken up, but it seemed to me more of a reason to give him space to sort out his thoughts, as I wasn't even sure if I was in them. About a week later, he asked my best friend (a mutual friend) to a dance, and I sort of sighed and prided myself on my wisdom. She told him she thought it was much too soon but would be willing to go with him purely as a friend. Nothing really ever came of them...

In the spring semester, he was unable to do the play because of scheduling conflicts with band. I was disappointed with a minor role--but it left me a lot of free time backstage. He came to see the play three times...and ended up spending the second two backstage with me. He taught me how to waltz and was the first and only guy ever to bring me flowers. I was still absolutely uncertain what the nature of our relationship was (I stuck with "friends" as a safe bet), but we did dig up the phone numbers we'd exchanged a year previously and call each other once or twice--strictly about the play.

This time, we kept in touch over the summer through Facebook. I got even more confused and conflicted, and I suppose he was uncertain (as I'd blurted out in an embarrassed manner that I saw him as a younger brother when someone teased me about the two of us, and I suppose he got wind of it.) He took to greeting me with "Hey, gorgeous," and telling me every so often that a photo I'd posted was beautiful. I, in my awkward INTJ-ness, remained confused, but tried my best to give casual hints. Eventually, I flat out asked my best friend (the one from before) whether or not he liked me, and she responded that he had for a while, but she hadn't been encouraging because she hadn't known about my feelings. Being shy, I asked her to talk to him for me. She did--eventually just blatantly telling him to ask me out--and we ended up together.

Still going strong. ;;^.^ He's a lot more expressive of his feelings and emotions, though, which makes me a little anxious because I'm bad at showing mine. The first time he said "I love you," I seized up and couldn't say anything for about twenty minutes. I'm terrible at that sort of thing, but I do love him.

...So...Does this obscenely long narrative sound like the poster-child story of a warm, friendly ENFJ and a socially-awkard INTJ at all? Because that's just what it is. Sorry for the length. ;;>.>
Wow quite the story but yeah INTJ and ENFJ are one of the best matches out there my best friend is actually an ENFJ
 
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