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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Especially interested in hearing from INTJ guys.

when you like someone (whether or not you know she has similar feelings), would you do or say certain things in a conversation? drop in some personal information? dress a little better....? show off a bit? i dont know?

what kind of things do you do, or pay more attention to , or make more of a point to do or say?
 

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I don't have much experience with this yet, for various reasons, but I'll attempt to answer your questions anyway...

When I'm interested in someone, the main thing on my mind (in relation to them) is to get to know the person better. The better I know someone, the more of my own personality I'll be comfortable showing. Assuming what I find out doesn't make me feel the need to hold more back, obviously. I wouldn't dress any better because, personally, cosmetics are a low priority for me and I don't like the idea of attracting someone based on something superficial like my clothes. If our skill-sets and goals complement each others, I would attempt to fit her into my plans in some way. Ask her for help on something or ask questions that I could probably answer myself online. Basically, I would look for intellectual excuses to talk or work with her.

Ideally, now that I've been through it, infatuation won't get involved. If it does, and the guy is anything like me, expect confusion. :dry:
 

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I wouldn't mind knowing either....
 

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If I liked someone, I would probably avoid her as much as possible.
Gah! I wish I did that! Infatuation makes my decision-making skills worthless. Rather than temporarily creating distance in an attempt to make sense of things, I spent more time around the girl while mentally useless.

There's nothing worse for an INTJ (in my opinion) than being in an emotion-based situation with your guard forcibly lowered. The result is an intense focus on blocking any and all expression, in an attempt to not let something unintentional slip out.

When I finally did start to get a handle on things, I went back to my usual socially-retarded self :crazy:. I had to research what is considered "normal" signs of interest. As it turns out, body language is the same pretty much regardless of how interested the person is (unless they're being perverted lol).
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I wonder if I'm an INTJ now. INFJs have also asked me, "are you sure you're not INTJ?"

because I do the same thing you guys mentioned...

1. I make excuses to talk to them about something intellectual. I can totally look it up, which I do obviously but I ask them about it so I have an excuse to talk to them. and anything outside of an intellectual topic, i feel like i don't have a legitimate reason to talk to them about

2. When i first like someone, i avoid that person like the plague... i think when i like someone, even if i dont show it, i think that I might give off some kind of vibes that the person picks up on. and if I feel like I made it apparent I like them, I feel so vulnerable and embarassed to have my guard down
 

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If I liked someone, I would probably avoid her as much as possible.
Yeah, I do that too, but it's such a vicious circle, because you never get close enough to take it further. The other person then loses interest, and that's that :crazy:
 
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Especially interested in hearing from INTJ guys.
Never been interested in following expectations so I'm going to answer even though I am not a guy and I am not seeking female companionship.

I observe (okay, okay... stalk) my object of fascination. Learn as much about him as possible before I increase my level of interaction. When I'm certain he is someone I would like to know better, I use the information I've gathered to find ways to inject myself into his life. As he notices me more, I show off a bit -- intellectually and physically.
 

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Never been interested in following expectations so I'm going to answer even though I am not a guy and I am not seeking female companionship.

I observe (okay, okay... stalk) my object of fascination. Learn as much about him as possible before I increase my level of interaction. When I'm certain he is someone I would like to know better, I use the information I've gathered to find ways to inject myself into his life. As he notices me more, I show off a bit -- intellectually and physically.
Minus the showing off part, I agree with this completely! Although, I suppose if I knew something I'm good at would impress her, I probably would show it off...
 
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Never been interested in following expectations so I'm going to answer even though I am not a guy and I am not seeking female companionship.

I observe (okay, okay... stalk) my object of fascination. Learn as much about him as possible before I increase my level of interaction. When I'm certain he is someone I would like to know better, I use the information I've gathered to find ways to inject myself into his life. As he notices me more, I show off a bit -- intellectually and physically.
Haha okay confession time.

(This isn't exclusive to a romantic relationship)

I am a total stalker. Not only am I a stalker but I tag team stalk with my other NTJ friends. A communal stalk, so to speak.

When I find somebody that catches my eye I observe them, profile them, learn their behaviours and seek out any inconsistencies. I will do this for days, weeks, months. I try to absorb as much information out of what is available to form a larger picture. Even manipulate them to notice me in the light that I want to be noticed. I will do this before even approaching said person as I will have it pretty well mapped out in my head how they will react and what angle to approach them with.

The hunt is even more delicious when you start to notice them stalking you back.... It becomes a dance after a while, waiting for the other to make the first move. Maybe this is the best way to describe the INT mating dance...
 

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I'll want to know them like the back of my hand before I approach... And it takes me forever to do this. I think Hemo has put it better than I can in words! She pretty much describes what I do. So if your curious, refer back to her post because I'm not going to repeat what she just said.
One thing that's different about me though, is that I don't wait for the other person to make the move. I don't except it.

Also, I will pick verbal fights with the person just to see if they can keep up. I have to have someone how's fiery/ won't back down from a challenge, so I will consistently test that.

Something else I'll do is I'll have conversations with the person I like in my mind (even if I may not know them that well). I'll pretend they're there with me and try to guess their reactions to certain things. I get very obsessive with that person so I'm always wanting to know more... even when I'm not around them.
 

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I observe (okay, okay... stalk) my object of fascination. Learn as much about him as possible before I increase my level of interaction. When I'm certain he is someone I would like to know better, I use the information I've gathered to find ways to inject myself into his life. As he notices me more, I show off a bit -- intellectually and physically.
When I find somebody that catches my eye I observe them, profile them, learn their behaviours and seek out any inconsistencies. I will do this for days, weeks, months.on my part, years even I try to absorb as much information out of what is available to form a larger picture. Even manipulate them to notice me in the light that I want to be noticed. I will do this before even approaching said person as I will have it pretty well mapped out in my head how they will react and what angle to approach them with.
I will pick verbal fights with the person just to see if they can keep up. I have to have someone how's fiery/ won't back down from a challenge, so I will consistently test that.

Something else I'll do is I'll have conversations with the person I like in my mind (even if I may not know them that well). I'll pretend they're there with me and try to guess their reactions to certain things. I get very obsessive with that person so I'm always wanting to know more... even when I'm not around them.
All of this - maybe I'm an INTJ too???!

Total stalker...I actually once walked round and round a train station so that I could accidently on purpose bump into him on his way home. :unsure:

No piece of info, however useless it might seem at the time, is irrelavant. all must be absorbed, so that I can fit together all the pieces of the jigsaw and solve the puzzle. you never what might be the vital clue. i remember EVERYTHING they've ever said, and then use it to my advantage i.e. if i overhear them saying they like TS Eliot, I'll read everything by him and randomly quote (but subtly and only once or twice).

Conversations in my mind - check.

Verbal fights - totally...I'm really mean to the people I like, teasing and banter at a whole new level. I just constantly neg them, to see if they can come back quickly and well.
 

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Well... for me, I don't nag them. I find that a horrible intrusion of space and a vacuum towards individuality. But I like for them to have a strong, solid personality. I want them to be able to know who they are and what they want. By antagonizing them, I'm able to see if they will break. I don't tease too often or nag... (My outward teasing comes after we become an item. Lol.) What I do is, I will question their beliefs, their motives, opinions, make them question themselves if possible, etc. If I can break them on a good day... Then I can most definitely break them on a bad!
 
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