[INFJ] - When your Ni runs amuck?

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· #2 · Jul 2, 2010

My introverted...intuition? Meaning, what, exactly?

All I know, is that I have crazy dreams. A few nights ago, I dreamt about a frog that walked on two legs and wanted to help me take over the world. The next day, my little cousin brought over his pet frogs.

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Icarus

· #3 · Jul 2, 2010

Personally more often then not it's not running amuck, people are just forcing themselves to be different.
ie denying love etc.

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vel

· #4 · Jul 2, 2010

I had one of those times today … lasted like 2 hours *shudder* … you really really really don't want to know what it feels like >.<

crazy Ni starts flipping dichotomoies around at lightening speed - suddenly everything becomes possible - you love and hate everything at once, you can believe anyone and no one at all, you know who you are and what you want and you don't know any of this all at the same time - you can't attach yourself to anything, not one object, person, idea, or identity, every image in your mind explodes in little pieces but it still whole, and every idea is acceptable and not acceptable at the same time - crazy Ni creates total chaos on the inside and denies you any place to anchor your identity

overactive and/or tired Ni makes a ton of connections some of which make no sense - you will hear or see something and immediately make a bunch of connections to things you have already seen/heard in past - it will make a spiderweb in your mind out of anything that catches your attention and make you get stuck in this web temporarily as you will doubt the validity of all the strings

overused Ni just makes a person be more of a nerd is some particular subject areas that person is interested in and ignore some more minor details and schedules of everyday life - makes that person appear to be a bit detached from reality

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SuperunknownVortex

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jul 2, 2010

vel said:
I had one of those times today … lasted like 2 hours *shudder* … you really really really don't want to know what it feels like >.<

crazy Ni starts flipping dichotomoies around at lightening speed - suddenly everything becomes possible - you love and hate everything at once, you can believe anyone and no one at all, you know who you are and what you want and you don't know any of this all at the same time - you can't attach yourself to anything, not one object, person, idea, or identity, every image in your mind explodes in little pieces but it still whole, and every idea is acceptable and not acceptable at the same time - crazy Ni creates total chaos on the inside and denies you any place to anchor your identity

overactive and/or tired Ni makes a ton of connections some of which make no sense - you will hear or see something and immediately make a bunch of connections to things you have already seen/heard in past - it will make a spiderweb in your mind out of anything that catches your attention and make you get stuck in this web temporarily as you will doubt the validity of all the strings

overused Ni just makes a person be more of a nerd is some particular subject areas that person is interested in and ignore some more minor details and schedules of everyday life - makes that person appear to be a bit detached from reality

Wow. That sounds quite exhausting.

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vel

· #6 · Jul 2, 2010

SuperunknownVortex said:
Wow. That sounds quite exhausting.

It is not exhausting but it is paralyzing and horrifying at the same time. It's like falling into the deepest pits of hell. I often wondered why hell is depicted as this place with lots of fire and eternal torture, why not like a place where you are made to sense that there is nothing there for all eternity, or a place where it is impossible to make meaning out of anything, eternal meaninglessness instead of eternal torture, a place with eternal discord between the people whom you love, or a place where everything seems fake and everyone is infinitely shallow and every single being you encounter is only a shell of itself, a piece of this large machine that is grinding itself out and going nowhere. But after learning about MBTI I see that hell was drafted to look that way because the torment of the senses makes it appear more frightening to people with sensor preference who make up the great majority of population. Intuitives I bet have somewhat different versions of hell, and occasionally I get a sneak preview into mine.

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MoonLight

· #7 · Jul 2, 2010

I’m not sure I have had such a thing happen or maybe it did and I didn’t notice.

I hope I never have what vel described. I do connect sometimes the past, present, and the future like I can see the path my life started on and how it will continue through continuous repeated patterns and it is disturbing but nothing close to what she wrote.

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SuperunknownVortex

Discussion Starter · #8 · Jul 2, 2010

vel said:
It is not exhausting but it is paralyzing and horrifying at the same time. It's like falling into the deepest pits of hell. I often wondered why hell is depicted as this place with lots of fire and eternal torture, why not like a place where you are made to sense that there is nothing there for all eternity, or a place where it is impossible to make meaning out of anything, eternal meaninglessness instead of eternal torture, a place with eternal discord between the people whom you love, or a place where everything seems fake and everyone is infinitely shallow and every single being you encounter is only a shell of itself, a piece of this large machine that is grinding itself out and going nowhere. But after learning about MBTI I see that hell was drafted to look that way because the torment of the senses makes it appear more frightening to people with sensor preference who make up the great majority of population. Intuitives I bet have somewhat different versions of hell, and occasionally I get a sneak preview into mine.

May I ask (and this may be a bit difficult to express in writing): is your experience sort of like where the dynamics of something (be it yourself, another person and/or the world itself) is metaphorically exposed so vividly that what was the past and might be the future seem nearly as 'real' as the present? Does it feel like in that moment you can clearly visualize how 'it' all unfolds, then comes together, and finally makes sense? Does it feel like you traveled like across the universe but, in reality, you haven't left, say, your bedroom or your car? Does it feel you're psychotic, schizotypal or just plain 'weird' because you 'see' and 'know' what others haven't a clue?

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CuritadeRana

· #9 · Jul 2, 2010

SuperunknownVortex said:
I was curious to hear from INFJs about what happens to you individually when you Ni (introverted intuition) metaphorically runs amuck. What is it like? What sort of behaviors, feelings or thoughts do you have? What does it 'feel' like? And all that jazz!

Any response will be greatly appreciated...and, of course, fascinating.

So polite and flattering....how can I resist :happy:
When Ni runs amuck it is like being a canary in a mine shaft. My emotions bounce off the wall, I lose all sense of direction, and break down into hysterics/crying. My family knows there is something invariably wrong with the world and they take it as the warning it is. They actually didn't buy a house because of it. We ended up buying another house in a different area altogether. This is a rare state of being, there's no explanation for it and it wouldn't be so shocking if it wasn't for the fact that I am such a calm person. To this day I always wondered what was wrong with that house....Woooo:laughing:

BTW...I find your avatar fascinating every time I look at it.

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vel

· #10 · Jul 3, 2010

SuperunknownVortex said:
May I ask (and this may be a bit difficult to express in writing): is your experience sort of like where the dynamics of something (be it yourself, another person and/or the world itself) is metaphorically exposed so vividly that what was the past and might be the future seem nearly as 'real' as the present? Does it feel like in that moment you can clearly visualize how 'it' all unfolds, then comes together, and finally makes sense? Does it feel like you traveled like across the universe but, in reality, you haven't left, say, your bedroom or your car? Does it feel you're psychotic, schizotypal or just plain 'weird' because you 'see' and 'know' what others haven't a clue?

Moonlight's experience is more like what you describe - the past, present, and future seem same and all that was will be again. When my Ni goes crazy I literally cannot think of anything. I can't hold basic thoughts together not to mention any thoughts of future or past. My thought process becomes extremely erratic. I make attempts at anchoring a thought somewhere but it just breaks off and breaks up. I can't imagine anything because any images break up into complete mess. I can't meditate because that involves some thought control. I can't listen to any music because it seems pleasant and repulsive at the same time. I can't decide to do anything because any action is once again meaningful and meaningless. Same with feelings, they become extremely erratic, but usually my mind feels it is distressed so I flip into thinker mode from feeler mode, and so emotions get shut down. So for the most part I'm just stuck experiencing very erratic thoughts and images in very quick succession. As far as putting some kind of term on it from mental health textbooks, it doesn't correlate to any personality disorder. It only happens when I'm physically not well, like if I haven't been sleeping and eating right for several days, so definitely gets triggered by some biochemical misbalance in my head. Usually after an hour or two it goes away.

But if I retrace this process back to the way I normally think I can definitely see some correlations. Under normal circumstances this switching between dichotomies is a slow and controlled process that allows me to see things from many different perspectives when thinking about them. But when it goes haywire it just speeds up and intensifies significantly and ends up greatly disturbing my thoughts and feelings. Imagine your mind attempting to see everything from all perspectives at once - you'd feel pretty messed up and unable to take any action as a result.

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Shofixti

· #11 · Jul 3, 2010

There is surely a spectrum of Ni. I will touch on two of the types:

Euphoric Ni - This usually kicks in when the far distant Se is active. It could be music, it could be weather, it could be the tone of a conversation but all of a sudden it works. Euphoric Ni is a type of pleasure ranging up to ecstasy where your inner world is in alignment with the outer - something reaches in and says - "yes, things work." You can see values that you normally don't think exist out there, now shining. There is peace, interrelated harmony and sensory excitement without the usual overloaded feeling.:laughing:

Despondent Ni - This sucks, I almost don't want to talk about it. It can be felt as an anxious attempt to connect the dots inside your head, but you doubt things can ever really be this way. You see the path to peace, but you know this is invisible to those who need to see it most. You comprehend the nature of love, but you are unloved. You see purpse and direction, but feel you lack the energy to take the necessary steps. You can become stranded in this, Se is closed off and we face a divide between our minds and the physical world. Sometimes it's the safest place to retreat to, but you can't stay forever. :mellow:

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Karot

· #12 · Jul 3, 2010

Nohting seems real, everything could be anything. You start even doubting that walls are walls. Nothing worse than not being able to trust your own perceptions/judgements.
It is when you wish that the world was built on known constants instead of hidden variables.

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Goodewitch

· #13 · Jul 3, 2010

I agree with a lot of Vel and Moonlights desriptions.
i experience Ni running amok like an almost altered state of consciousness, or perhaps it really is an altered state.
A series of jumbled images in super fast succession, meaningless, too fast to join the dots or make connections,..a feeling on non extisence..being cast adrift grom everything you thought you knew, all reference points gone..like drifting in infinite space with no star map..nothing to tell you where or 'when' you are. The scarey nothingness Vel seemed to speak of. Theres a feeling of loss of identity,. when Ni is running amok,.. 'I' doesnt exist for me... I am formless shapeless,.. just floating amongst Ni forms and shapes and symbols, I am nothing, I am no one, I do not really exist, thats how it feels. The persona that is 'Me' is a facade, stripped away. Everything seems pointless,.. everything is meaningless. Too many possibilties and ways to perceive, so that it ends up a scrambed meaningless jumble.
The other side of Ni running amok is a little more focused for me..this is when future prediction becomes easy,.. i can actually talk about it as i see the myriad possibilities for the future being pared down into one path, the most likely outcome.
Past present and future all exist simultaneously and you can cherry pick a point in time, and say whats going to occur, or what did occur.
Almost like meditative or trance states.. without the hallucinogens

Coming back to 'reality can be jarring and depressing.
The other Ni world seems more real to me these days, but i suspect thats because ive let my NI grow to silly proportions.
Still, its 'interesting' in that it is how I run, my brain uses Ni so naturally, its just when its on hyperdrive for some reason, it becomes overwhelming..its not just images, its emotions, feelings, thoughts..(great big thoughts,..genius thoughts that I cant quite grasp hold of,.. thoughts that are just beyond my reach, a quick taste of understanding and comprehension,.. and then gone) Its certainly like a trip, and you dont always feel in control.
G. x

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sploney

· #14 · Jul 4, 2010

Oh my, I've been here, too. That bad discordant one, and the right on one. I think it's sort of like the Dreamtime the Australian Aboriginals speak of, when they say it's more real than reality, or that it's where all our conciousness came from. A grain of sand means everything, and the entire universe and all of time means nothing at the same time. It means depression and euphoria at once. I think it's also what Tolkien's elves feel, if they were real.
Ok, I'd better shut up now, I had a beer and can't write properly.

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SecondSkin

· #15 · Jul 4, 2010

Goodewitch said:
I agree with a lot of Vel and Moonlights desriptions.
i experience Ni running amok like an almost altered state of consciousness, or perhaps it really is an altered state.
A series of jumbled images in super fast succession, meaningless, too fast to join the dots or make connections,..a feeling on non extisence..being cast adrift grom everything you thought you knew, all reference points gone..like drifting in infinite space with no star map..nothing to tell you where or 'when' you are. The scarey nothingness Vel seemed to speak of. Theres a feeling of loss of identity,. when Ni is running amok,.. 'I' doesnt exist for me... I am formless shapeless,.. just floating amongst Ni forms and shapes and symbols, I am nothing, I am no one, I do not really exist, thats how it feels. The persona that is 'Me' is a facade, stripped away. Everything seems pointless,.. everything is meaningless. Too many possibilties and ways to perceive, so that it ends up a scrambed meaningless jumble.

Oh God, I've been there too many times. This description is very true.

For me, it feels like I subconsciously make connections between completely disparate ideas almost automatically, as though I was programmed to make those connections all along. The problem is, there are so many connections going off at once that to infer any sort of meaning or reasoning from them is impossible. Everything gets jumbled up, as Goodewitch said, into a little ball, and you feel like you're seeing the big picture but you're unsure what to make of it. So it feels like everything either is or isn't. It doesn't really make any difference either way. It's kind of like absurdism, actually.

The euphoric Ni is something totally different though, and more often than not it comes to me rather than I to it. It's like a flash of enlightenment, as though you'd just been given an exclusive sneak peek into the future. And it's also totally different from the dead-end type of Ni--you still go through the connections going off instantaneously, but at the end you feel like you've found "it", though how or why, you're unsure, you just "know". The last one I had was last summer. There were a lot of things going on that had been bothering me, and I was desperately looking for a way through it all. Despite what the popular image of the enlightened INFJ might inform you, I was not trying to conjure the meaning of life out of a toothbrush.

Instead, it was early morning and as I was going downstairs, it hit me. I was unsure why or how, but it felt like I could've jumped out a building and flew. I've had little spurts of euphoric Ni since then, but none as full and satisfying as that moment.

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