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Discussion Starter #1
Seriously. This is a clarion call for all the NT women.

We need to form a coalition. I am an ENTP and I thought for years that I was a feeling type. After all, isn't it so acceptable and encouraged to be emotional and nurturing? Now I'm not saying we aren't, because we are just as capable of being as emotional as everyone else. But if you're anything like me, you've never felt like the conventional female. You might have lived on the fringes as a kid, and you couldn't relate to the girls in your high school because you weren't willing to get mixed up in their bullshit. Maybe your peers thought you were bitchy or too outspoken or bossy. Maybe you weren't as nurturing or motherly as you were taught to be. Maybe you are emotional but you are stuck rationalizing how you feel and you can't just feel like other people can. Maybe you feel like nobody listens to you even when you've rationally solved the problem. Or maybe (even hopefully) none of this happened to you. But you all are rad and strong and brave. Don't feel like you're dysfunctional in any way because you aren't interested in what your other peers are interested in. You do you.

Sincerely,

A fellow NT female

P.S- I'm feeling rather punchy today. Can you tell?
 

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It's very true NT women can have a difficult time due to not being "stereotypical" females. I have a wide social circle and know a lot of people in general and besides myself I have only met ONE other NT female (ENTJ) who is a good friend of mine. From my current school I've always had friends but even two years ago people used to think I was sort of cold, bitchy, mean and shallow due to still being somewhat reserved back then and generally choosing to not speak if I wasn't interested in the topic (I always hated talking about celebrities or other matters like that). Although still not seen as a warm person, nowadays I guess people view me as an outgoing, friendly and somewhat eccentric person with a good sense of humor but also as someone who has a lot of potential and an interesting way of thinking but who does very little to achieve her goals.

Two years ago excluding my friends I had difficulties dealing with both female and male population as I simply didn't fit in their standards of behavior. I've always liked analyzing people so I felt like even if I could not relate to them, I still understood them but others never really understood me. Currently it seems like many other girls think they actually understand how I think and and act while continuing to suggest reasons why. I'm still of the opinion that they kind of still don't (seems like there are people in the ENTJ, ESTP, ENFJ and INFP categories who have some sort of a clue). When it comes to males, I've always had difficulties forming friendships or relationships with them even though I've been described as a pretty girl, probably simply because I don't adhere to their norms of what a female is supposed to be like. I look very feminine but don't really act that way.

At one point I attempted to just start behaving like everyone else by suppressing my inner ENTP and I just ended up miserable. Even if most people are not capable of understanding me, I still have many friends and as I'm quite open, I am always ready to explain the reasons for my behavior. It would be interesting to know whether other NT women have had the same problems as I don't really have many people to compare myself to:D
 

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I'm too prideful of my self being or apathetic to social conformity to hide my xNTP-ness. Which makes me extremely lonely when it comes to sitting in a room with multiple friends who are talking about their current/ex- boyfriends. The times that I have felt a strong connection to a guy, he doesn't seem to feel the same about me or I fail at dropping hints. It's aggravating when you can give advice on a subject you have no experience in yourself.

Also, it seems I'm often talked over when talking to friends. Normally, I wait until there's a break and I input my two cents, but in conversation, I find I can never get a word in until it's too late. Then they say I'm going off topic when I'm commenting about the previous topic, or when I finally bite the bullet and speak, they say I'm interrupting or talk too much. I hate it. I like to talk, debate, discuss, theorize, joke around, etc with people, but they don't seem to let me say anything.

I have one NT friend (INTJ), she's one of my best friends and one who sometimes looks/talks to me like I have no idea what I'm doing (true 40% of the time, but whatever). We often feel trapped by society's customs in education and rage at society's overall dislike towards our kind.
 

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We often feel trapped by society's customs in education and rage at society's overall dislike towards our kind.
This is exactly what me and my ENTJ friend tend to do from time to time. It is difficult to be an NT female who wants to educate herself in the society as I feel like we often don't have the possibilities to function according to our full potential in the highly structured environment.
 
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I don't know, plenty of people I talk with mention that sense of alienation and feeling like they don't fit in when growing up. It's particularly hard for sensitive men and logical women (gender normative stereotypes and the teenaged pressure of fitting in) but I think most of us experience some form of that. One thing I notice that pertains to NT women in particular is that many of us peak later, in our twenties or thirties, so our teenage years can seem pretty rough. But I don't think the goal should be assimilation, just finding our own places in the world and being able to relate to others on our own terms (and theirs) instead of trying to live our lives by some imaginary standard of appropriateness few people really manage to reach. Everybody's weird and different in some way.

I also think that teenagers on the whole are highly self absorbed and shit at relating to other people. I've met a few exceptions, but most of us are so busy struggling with our own shit we pay surprisingly little amount to other people. And we can only compare our behind the scenes to anyone else's outward appearance, which might be miles away from how they really feel or think.

All that said, I was a pretty butch teenager in appearance and mannerisms (NT lack of interest in appearances + going through a particularly rough patch that left me even less interested in people + typical teenage rebellion against "how women should look and behave") and had some empathy/social awkwardness problems. I really didn't fit in. Nowadays I'm much more conventional in appearance (took out a number of piercings, traded my shaved head for a pink undercut, which I grew out into a brown bob recently, and bought some dresses instead of walking around in dude uniform and army boots) but I still surprise people when I open my mouth. That's fine though, I like subverting societal mores in a less in-your-face way nowadays instead of going for the full assault.

My best female friends when growing up, btw, were an ISFP that I kept getting into trouble but sort of responsibly because I knew she was a nice family girl ("I love the way you think, it's so different"), an INTJ ("people are shit, let's discuss how we could assassinate the headmaster") and an ISTP ("people are shit, let's get naked and drunk and high, put on some body paint and climb the fire escape to the roof") ... great people. I didn't feel like I stood out as much as I could have because two thirds of my friends were at least as strange as I was.
 

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I don't understand emotions. There's this ENFJ friend of mine who calls me an 'emotional illiterate'. I know I have feelings but a lot of time passes until I understand them. (though recently I've come to understand myself a little bit more when it comes to feelings... but just a little).
I've always felt "different", not for how I feel, though, but for what I wanted. I was the weird one who was interested in different things from far away lands and who always wanted to go and live abroad and who longed for change more than anything
 
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Discussion Starter #9
One thing I notice that pertains to NT women in particular is that many of us peak later, in our twenties or thirties, so our teenage years can seem pretty rough.
I am in my 20's and boy is this true.
 

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Well I'm 16 and thankfully I think our society has evolutioned enough to at least stop pushing the nurturing bullshit into us, yeah nowadays we are seen as the rad mfs we are and so many people actually look up so much to female NTs (probably because we're really rare or like you said some NTs have lost it or just don't embrace it). Alhtough we are still being currently undermined at times, like I just hate when people call me a "tomboy" I can be brave, smart and be able to kill a damn insect with anything I have close and still be quite VERY feminine (I consider myself "girly"), because seriously when did feminine became weak and stupid? Also boys always say how serious I am and how threatening and angry I look and how I'm more "macho" than them... if they're expecting me to apologize for not being a bimbo then fuck them. Yeah, it's not a mystery that guys don't like me and yes you guessed it: idgf.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
@Cesspool her name is Julie Delpy. She's an actress/ director that I admire. I've also been told I look like her.
 

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I try to be friendly towards people, but I'm always treated differently because of my NT-ness. Maybe it's intimidation or something, but the NT females I know, even the extroverted ones, are ostracized by the general public more than any other type of female.

The only friend I've managed to find that I even remotely relate to is an ENTP female. Though she can be over-dramatic sometimes, we are on the same wavelength. Both of us were complete loners before we met in high school and then we just clicked.
 

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I don't think I can act/convince anyone I'm a F for any prolonged time. At most I'd look ENTP. I'm 'feminine' looking, though.
 

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My INFJ close friend said (if onlookers see me/ they don't know me), I seem ENxP by looks/way of dressing alone.
 

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Here. I tend to hang around guys more. Haven't found another NT girl yet that I know of.
 

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I've never met an NT girl... What does it look like? :D
 
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