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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all. I'm not sure how to begin. I've finally met my first INFP (that is, definitively without problems in midpoint discrimination and strain). Previously I've only found IxFPs (8): quite distinct by their selfies, substance abuse and need of praise. When I found her, I was startled and immediately certain of her: she gets lost in her reflective thoughts rather than her physical image, she explores the meaning of different experiences and expresses/takes abstract love.

It was actually in my plan to find out what they were like, but I'm completely stunned at what I've found: a considerate, deep-thinking, less-aggressive, introverted fairy who views every fragile moment as beautiful, and understands not just what is important, but why it is. She's completely unsettled my world, is making me feel again, re-writing my Fi very subtly and countering my Ni-Ne in a gentle way. I've read about this scenario previously and its almost textbook - but experiencing it is nothing like what is written about it.

Unfortunately, my experience with her will be transitory because we're at different stages of our lives. I'm able to distinguish between the message and the messenger, her effect is dissipating and INTJs establish self-control quickly, particularly if we need to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that INFPs seem to embrace. Nevertheless, their concept of love is compatible with mine, and something is now different in my existence.

I'm curious: where do I find INFPs when they're not reading and how do I spot one?
 

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this was so lovely to read! where to find INFPs: coffee shops, book stores, libraries, ONLINE (dating sites like okcupid), art galleries, independent theatres, any kind of art function, open lectures. more political/world peace type INFPs might be found more at rallies, gatherings on various topics. ha, not sure.

to generalize, look for a fairly quiet girl who seems dreamy, sweet, and maybe a little sad/wistful. of course, INFPs of different enneagrams tend to have different vibes.

edit: Oh! parks. beautiful outdoor spaces
 

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Yes...we also have different vibes and interests depending on enneatype. But i'm not the kind of doing stuffs like writing poems or novels. You can find me on book stores and library though. I also love art galleries, museums, parks, esp. gardens with colorful trees and flowers.
 

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You know that guy with long hair that you walked past on the street the other day that was listening to very loud music on his earphones? That was probably me :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
to generalize, look for a fairly quiet girl who seems dreamy, sweet, and maybe a little sad/wistful. of course, INFPs of different enneagrams tend to have different vibes.

edit: Oh! parks. beautiful outdoor spaces

Is there any physical attributes associated? As an INTJ-INFP, we're two Fi-driven perfectionists - one in the sense of creating your own apotheosis, the other being a pure projection of human soul. So we matched up on physical appearance, although I think she won with her style. (she only gave me an 8 sigh) She's tall, willowy, long hair, button-nose - she could be a model; while using natural human flaws to her advantage, she ends up looking so impossibly perfect. Do INFPs feel the need to project that beauty through their body shape, hair, etc (for example, to appear as ethereal or supernatural creatures)?
 

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Is there any physical attributes associated? As an INTJ-INFP, we're two Fi-driven perfectionists - one in the sense of creating your own apotheosis, the other being a pure projection of human soul. So we matched up on physical appearance, although I think she won with her style. (she only gave me an 8 sigh) She's tall, willowy, long hair, button-nose - she could be a model; while using natural human flaws to her advantage, she ends up looking so impossibly perfect. Do INFPs feel the need to project that beauty through their body shape, hair, etc (for example, to appear as ethereal or supernatural creatures)?
This is so cute :)

It's really hard to pick out types by physical attributes alone. I think you can see INFP in the eyes... but it's more a "vibe" coming from the eyes rather than a physical aspect, so it's difficult to catch it until after the fact of knowing the person is an INFP, then it becomes glaringly obvious. The best way to explain it is with a quote I once heard, "Look at the world through the eyes of a child, with wide-eyed amazement." INFP eyes almost seem to be filled with a childlike innocence, lost in one sense, and unabashedly heading for wonderous destinations in another sense. Not all, but a lot of INFPs tend to look quite a bit younger than they are, and I conclude a lot of that has to do with the youthful and dreamy aspirations reflected in the eyes. But I say that with the caveat that that doesn't necessarily mean the INFP is childlike and innocent :th_Jttesur:

We have to tend to the necessities of daily living just like everyone else, so don't discount markets, banks and post offices either. An INFP's gotta eat!!

Hair, body, clothes.... yeah, it can be common to express through these mediums, but it's so subjective that I would imagine it's difficult if not impossible to use this measure as several other types do the same, and all INFPs have their own style. I have a thing for intentionally wearing clothes that don't match, but don't match to an extent that I find acceptable. I wouldn't walk around in floral pants and an animal print shirt, for instance. But that's just me.

I hope you find what you're looking for, as I was very touched by your initial post :)
 

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I have an INFP 4w3 sister and I am an INFP 4w5. I've never met any other INFPs, but it's safe to say that both my sister and I have different styles. I think it'd be easier to identify an INFP base on mannerism. She has a classic artistic temperament (moody, quiet etc) and is a visual artist herself. You'd find her going to live gigs and concerts for some indie music. I love musicals and bookstores. I'm more inhibited, so quiet as well, and tend not to have cliques or participate in the social sphere at work or school. I guess an INFP would be the person who seems satisfied "doing their own thing" but try to remain approachable. People have commented that I look sad, or that I seem mature (not appearance).

I'm not sure if airy fairy fits either of us, especially when we are both feeling moody. My friends have commented that I look angry, and my sister too, can seem angry (even more so) when she's swinging on the negative side of moodiness. I'd imagine that an e9 INFP comes across differently. Both of us are very prone to staring into blank space unless someone engages us, and if it helps I'd like to think that I have a tendency to drift past people because I'm in my head all the time. We also have our headphones on a lot.
 

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Hahaha.. You've just described what goes on in an ENFP's head when they meet an INTJ, but in reverse.

You guys remind us about our tertiary over our secondary also.

Honestly if you want someone who has the emotional idealism of Fi, but also has a developed sense of rationalisation and the ability to understand the process- an ENFP might be your ticket.
 

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Hahaha.. You've just described what goes on in an ENFP's head when they meet an INTJ, but in reverse.

You guys remind us about our tertiary over our secondary also.

Honestly if you want someone who has the emotional idealism of Fi, but also has a developed sense of rationalisation and the ability to understand the process- an ENFP might be your ticket.
*rolls eyes*

We tend to like people watching, wandering around in places that stimulate imagination (INteresting stores, thrift shops, etc....), even authentic places with their own taste.... Such can be anywhere...
 

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Yes yes, find and help them. They need the guidance of Te to make their diamonds shine further. I am helped by many female INTJ buddies and I love them. There would be a lot of things both parties can gain assuming they are healthy.

Hmm I am trying to figure out more possibility of general places INFP usually in, but most of my INFP friends are more happier in their own room creating art, online gaming, foruming...

How about " where one rarely comes to/where everyone missed" because I see this type seems to like to be in overlooked place. Yes sorry I know this isn't concrete enough *facefloor*
 

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I'm curious: where do I find INFPs when they're not reading and how do I spot one?
If you ever come across someone with loud metalcore blasting through a Beatspill beside an acoustic guitar and is drawing the scenery in one spot, there you go. INFP. Oh, and see if the face is sad or teary-eyed. Oh, and I think out of all the other types, we're the ones most inclined to look up to the sky and revel in its beauty. Even if the said person's wearing a Heaven Shall Burn t-shirt.

Basically, dreamy off-beat people in seemingly common but atmospheric places with eye-candy everywhere.

BTW, your post is making me a bit teary-eyed. I think you've just given me something to think about before I sleep.

(Wanna know something? The INFPs I know in real life seldom take selfies.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
If you ever come across someone with loud metalcore blasting through a Beatspill beside an acoustic guitar and is drawing the scenery in one spot, there you go. INFP. Oh, and see if the face is sad or teary-eyed. Oh, and I think out of all the other types, we're the ones most inclined to look up to the sky and revel in its beauty. Even if the said person's wearing a Heaven Shall Burn t-shirt.

Basically, dreamy off-beat people in seemingly common but atmospheric places with eye-candy everywhere.

BTW, your post is making me a bit teary-eyed. I think you've just given me something to think about before I sleep.

(Wanna know something? The INFPs I know in real life seldom take selfies.)
Yes. Se/Ne. x = borderline. One way is that S = people places things N = thoughts ideas; INFPs probably don't take sensory selfies; they're probably lost in the infinity of reflections in their mind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Honestly if you want someone who has the emotional idealism of Fi, but also has a developed sense of rationalisation and the ability to understand the process- an ENFP might be your ticket.
I think not. Been through seven ENFPs. They're fine for entertainment and companionship. I never have as much fun/laughter as I do around them. There's a line that goes horribly wrong when they get too close... I'm not sure if I have any in my life at the moment.
 

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Hey! I may be an INFP myself, but I find male INFPs most admirable. Considering our quite feminine nature, I can only imagine the struggles (especially in teenage years.) Straighten your back and work your charm!
Struggles like being tagged "gay" all the time just because you don't fit their idea of a guy. Macho traditionalists. Pffft. Sometimes they do chip away at whatever's left of my masculinity. T^T

Thanks for reassuring us feminine males. :')
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
These threads are always by males in search of female INFPs.
My journey to this point is inevitable - after my sequence with ENFPs to INFJs, the INFP and ENFJ were next on my list. I empirically know that INTJ-INFJ works, what the limits are, etc, so if I have two people working together I can optimize that interaction. I'm very strategic about what I want. My female ENFJ friend I can watch (while she manipulates a situation into getting her money back from an ex) and learn. What's changed is that I need more information because I only know one INFP. My view of her is hardly objective - quite the opposite in fact. So the priority on the list has been escalated accordingly - particularly since her Fi is overwhelming mine right now.

I'm curious - what type of males are looking for female infps?
 
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