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you know when people give you a compliment like how you sing well or how pretty you are but then you get this "he/she's just being nice to me, thats not true."
i see myself doing that so many times that i hardly can understand if thats a genuine compliment or people are just being sarcarstic to me.
are cognitive functions related to that in any way? how do i fix that?
 

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Here's some help.




 
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you know when people give you a compliment like how you sing well or how pretty you are but then you get this "he/she's just being nice to me, thats not true."
i see myself doing that so many times that i hardly can understand if thats a genuine compliment or people are just being sarcarstic to me.
are cognitive functions related to that in any way? how do i fix that?
The problem could be repressed Fe.

To spell it out: INFPs are Fi-Dom. So Fe is a repressed function for INFPs. And when a function is repressed, it can surface as fears or doubts. Normal Fe (as used by Fe-Doms, that is, ExFJs) is about relationships and interactions with other people. So repressed Fe can show up as fears or doubts about the motives of other people.

Fi-Dom (IxFPs) can be pretty cool and aloof; combined with repressed Fe, it can turn into a distinct wariness about people who try to cozy up to us, and doubts about their motives. By the way, INTPs are famous for a similar dislike of compliments. And their Inferior is Fe (which is an even stronger form of repressed Fe). So that would be another indication that a distrust of compliments could be tied to repressed Fe (rather than poor self-esteem or whatever).

As to how you get over it: Work on your Fe. :)
 

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Its a human thing everyone has their doubts but to answer your question typology wise I would say Fi/Ne. Fi can be very critical of the self and Ne is constantly searching so I feel Fi/Ne together can lead to this restless search for the self and complements can make us look inwards. I would say 90% not type related though. More a general human thing I would say my advice is that most of the time compliments are genuine and don't think too hard on them. When I feel embraced about a compliment I tend to say thanks quietly :p.
 

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Actually feelers aka negociators can be quite hard on our selves. It might be related to estrogen and oxytocins influence on us.

4:40
 

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I don't think it's about cognitive functions. It happens to every type.

A simple explanation I would have would be that people do give compliments to be nice. It can be to cheer you up, make you feel appreciated, be appreciated in return, give you a social reward, and make you more productive... there are so many reasons to give an undue compliment. They may even conceal a criticism behind a compliment to avoid conflicts and hard feelings. It makes it hard to know when the compliment is sincere or not. You might think, am I just paranoid and self-depreciative? Should I work on myself?

Sometimes, you meet people who give criticism as much as they breathe and who give compliments one time per year.
When you're receiving that one yearly compliment, I assure you that you take it.
And you think, ah, no, I'm not paranoid and self-depreciative. And I may be good, after all.

I'd add that if the self-doubt is recurrent when taking a compliment, maybe you're suffering from a sense of low self-worth and self-esteem. It's hard to take a compliment when you feel like you don't deserve it internally.
 

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It comes from being human. Every personality or person on this site or in the entire world has doubt.
Unlike the premise of this thread, I don't feel doubt when someone compliments me.

I can usually tell if someone is being insincere. If it passes my internal sincerity test, I'll accept the compliment and take it as an ego boost.
 

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Unlike the premise of this thread, I don't feel doubt when someone compliments me.

I can usually tell if someone is being insincere. If it passes my internal sincerity test, I'll accept the compliment and take it as an ego boost.
I mentioned in my response above that INTPs are famous for distrusting compliments due to Fe-Inferior. I've seen lots of INTPs say on message boards that they tend to frown on compliments because they figure that they themselves are the best judge of their own work, so they don't really trust the evaluations of others.

But naturally, that doesn't apply to every INTP. If you yourself have a good sniff test for sincerity and accept compliments well, then that speaks to your personal maturity and skill at Fe.
 

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I mentioned in my response above that INTPs are famous for distrusting compliments due to Fe-Inferior. I've seen lots of INTPs say on message boards that they tend to frown on compliments because they figure that they themselves are the best judge of their own work, so they don't really trust the evaluations of others.

But naturally, that doesn't apply to every INTP. If you yourself have a good sniff test for sincerity and accept compliments well, then that speaks to your personal maturity and skill at Fe.
Well it's not that I want to be the judge of my own work. I think it's more about things that I either already know are good, so the compliment just confirms it, or it's a thing that I need to hear from others because it's more personal, e.g. if someone compliments my appearance - that's a subjective thing so I can never be certain, so it's nice to be told (unless it's insincere!).
 

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Well it's not that I want to be the judge of my own work. I think it's more about things that I either already know are good, so the compliment just confirms it, or it's a thing that I need to hear from others because it's more personal, e.g. if someone compliments my appearance - that's a subjective thing so I can never be certain, so it's nice to be told (unless it's insincere!).
Might be fun to clarify this issue with a general survey in a separate thread (since this one is specifically about INFPs): Given that their inferior function is Fe-Inf, how do INTPs and ISTPs feel about compliments--and under what circumstances and why? :)
 

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I am an Enneagram 6, so I tend to be sort of suspicious anyway, but I personally don't think questioning the motives or sincerity behind a compliment is a bad thing.

That said, I know myself well (Fi) - strengths, values, weaknesses, and so forth - so, when someone compliments me, it filters through that pretty quickly. Either what is said affirms what I know about myself already (puff puff) or I accept it as them "just being nice" and not knowing me very well.

I suppose I think that MOST people who compliment me do not have ulterior motives, even if they may be mistaken about what they are saying.

Niceness can be nice sometimes, even if it's not truth.
 
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