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Which types do you find are most difficult to understand or rleate to?

  • 1 "The Perfectionist"

    Votes: 40 20.3%
  • 2 "The Helper"

    Votes: 45 22.8%
  • 3 "The Achiever"

    Votes: 34 17.3%
  • 4 "The Romantic"

    Votes: 30 15.2%
  • 5 "The Investigator"

    Votes: 17 8.6%
  • 6 "The Questioner"

    Votes: 38 19.3%
  • 7 "The Generalist"

    Votes: 37 18.8%
  • 8 "The Challenger"

    Votes: 42 21.3%
  • 9 "The Peacemaker"

    Votes: 35 17.8%

  • Total voters
    197
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MOTM Nov 2009
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For me, the hardest types to understand are the types that I once considered myself to be, such as Types Five and One. Without my personal experience in thinking I am one, it's like a total disconnect in the fact that I have to learn about the type all over again. Something about relating to the type you believe you are skews the view for me, and often in a worse way than it was before.

The type I find it hardest to relate to is Type Nine - only on the unhealthy levels, though, which may be said for all of the other types. I find it hard to understand or want to grasp the perspective of someone who I deem quite lazy and not willing to take control. Average to healthy Nines, though, I can get along with just fine. In deep relationships, I find the biggest friction occurs between Sixes and I. My best friend is a 6w7, and although we trust each other greatly, there are times she will defer herself to me... and stay that way. Someone who needs to be told every step to do something really nags me.
 

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MOTM Aug 2010
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For me it would have to be Type Six, although that could be because the Sixes I know IRL are all unhealthy and either worry too much about things (which is very difficult for me to relate to, as I tend to be calm and rational in tense situations) or are overly clingy, and neither of these tendencies work well with me.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
For me it would have to be Type Six, although that could be because the Sixes I know IRL are all unhealthy and either worry too much about things (which is very difficult for me to relate to, as I tend to be calm and rational in tense situations) or are overly clingy, and neither of these tendencies work well with me.

That's interesting. Although fear is often beneath the surface, most people are amazed at how calm I appear to be. Of course, most people never get past the wall I keep up.
 

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In terms of understanding (not relating though, since I don't bother to type ppl IRL) I would say six, since from what I've read they tend to be diverse in how they behave in relation to all that phobic and counter-phobic business, which can cause them to appear like any other type on the Enneagram. Also, since they tend to submerge their fear and anxiety (whether by complying with people, or confronting their fears) it would be hard in real life to see that core since it wouldn't be displayed.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
In terms of understanding (not relating though, since I don't bother to type ppl IRL) I would say six, since from what I've read they tend to be diverse in how they behave in relation to all that phobic and counter-phobic business, which can cause them to appear like any other type on the Enneagram. Also, since they tend to submerge their fear and anxiety (whether by complying with people, or confronting their fears) it would be hard in real life to see that core since it wouldn't be displayed.

If you care to understand type 6 (or any other type for that matter) better, I would recommend learning about body language and/or NLP . We try to hide what's under the surface but our bodies cannot lie.
 

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Wow, I'm actually really attracted to 1's.

It is the unhealthy, straight 9 (as in, no wings) I understand and can relate to theoretically, but then I see it in a person who is close to me... and I just don't get it. It's hard having a nine for a parent, and being a nine oneself. They withdraw, but you can't withdraw, because you have to deal with what they aren't dealing with. Seeing extreme withdrawing in action is a strange and sometime frustrating experience for me. It is like looking into a mirror for the first time, and not liking what it's showing you.

I think being a nine, I can understand the other types quite well. Some less than others. But it is the nine that conflicts me most of all, because I havent grasped 'me' yet.

"However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—
a strong sense of their own identity. Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams"

This is turning out to be an intriguing poll. Thanks Aubrey, I will be watching this.
 

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If you care to understand type 6 (or any other type for that matter) better, I would recommend learning about body language and/or NLP . We try to hide what's under the surface but our bodies cannot lie.
I find this interesting, in that I would assume sixes' would purposefully manipulate their body language in order to hide what's underneath. For instance I would assume that phobic sixes' would put on a calm front and be compliant, and have a relaxed body language so as to not stir up trouble that would cause them fear, while a counter-phobic would puff themselves up and have very harsh physical movements to make themselves appear tougher than they really are.

I'm guessing you mean the more unconscious type of body language or that sixes' aren't as aware of their physical presence as other types.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I find this interesting, in that I would assume sixes' would purposefully manipulate their body language in order to hide what's underneath. For instance I would assume that phobic sixes' would put on a calm front and be compliant, and have a relaxed body language so as to not stir up trouble that would cause them fear, while a counter-phobic would puff themselves up and have very harsh physical movements to make themselves appear tougher than they really are.

I'm guessing you mean the more unconscious type of body language or that sixes' aren't as aware of their physical presence as other types.
Learning to decipher what is relaxed versus an attempt to go unnoticed or confident versus overcompensation is what is so useful about the study of body language and NLP. You've nailed the body language of a counterphobic six, but your interpretation could use a little work. The tough guy act in body language (and verbal for that matter) is distinctly different from that of a person who is truly confident. Also, a phobic six visibly shrinks so as to go unnoticed. This is not the body language of a relaxed person.

A great example of the body language of a counterphobic six would be a situation I had with a guy I know. I started discussing Enneagram with him. When I told him that I knew his type, his chest puffed out (overcompensation) and his eyes went wide (fear) for a split second. I started telling him some of the characteristics of type 6, he started flashing half smiles (contempt) while restricting his arm movements (inferiority).
 

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1's can really irritate the heck out of me IRL, but I'm only speaking from experience with them. Not all are like that.
 

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Those numbers keep changing. Which are your two favorite types and why?
Since I've looked at the test the most voted type was 1, my type. Six and Eight have been tied for second place, coincidentally also tied for my second favorites after my own type. As for why, I have opinions on the types that I'd rather not share here :D. You can ask me another time if you're really interested.
 

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It depends on what type you are

Loaded question LOL Some types has issues and conflicts, some get on very well, it depends on the two people and their types...

I find that the Triads get on with each other better, for example I'm a Six, I tend to make friends with other sixes, strong 5, 9, and 4's. Not to say that I wouldn't like you if you were a One or Two, but my history says, I have some issues with Two's regarding my type.... it might be different for other types...I rarely befriend Three's because of our different personality style, even if my 3,6,9 merges...

This is a generalization of what I'm experiencing and not the general of the type.
 

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Type 1's can irritate the hell out of me.
any particular reason? or is that self evident for everyone?

I don't really understand why ones would so so difficult to fathom...

I do understand why people dislike the unhealthy "ones". Ones can be very judgmental, rigid and angry sometimes. :angry:

But ones also have good qualities. These ones are so good they're practically angelic.:bored:

Maybe you haven't met the healthy ones.
 

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The type I have the most difficulty understanding -

Sixes Although I've been to enneagram seminars and have studied it for a long time, I just don't get type 6. The phobic and counterphobic aspects do confuse me. Sixes seem to be a bundle of contradictions. The use of body language interpretations which Aubrey mentioned earlier seems like an interesting approach to getting a handle on individual sixes.

I have met sixes that I get along famously with. I seem very comfortable with this type.


Which are your two favorite types and why?
I like all types for the most part. It really depends on the relative health of the individual. I have during various times in my life been involved or attracted to different Enneagram types. It's as if I went through a phase that involved interacting with particulartypes in order to learn something that would contribute to my personal growth (specifically Twos, Threes, Fives & Nines) Why these types? I don't know. Types seem to come in clusters to me - the "flavor of the month" changes.

My current favorites: Fours and Sevens (although I have no current relationships with either type):

Fours - I'm attracted to the emotional, romantic and idealistic elements of the type. I'm looking to get in touch with my passionate side. Also One goes to Four when One disintergrates. I'd like to spend some time walking on the dark side (as long as no one ends up getting hurt - probably an impossibility).

Sevens - I'd like to have more fun and spontaneity in my life. Seven is my type for integration. I admire Sevens ability to enjoy life, be free and happy.
 

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any particular reason? or is that self evident for everyone?

I don't really understand why ones would so so difficult to fathom...

I do understand why people dislike the unhealthy "ones". Ones can be very judgmental, rigid and angry sometimes. :angry:

But ones also have good qualities. These ones are so good they're practically angelic.:bored:

Maybe you haven't met the healthy ones.
Any sign of Te and I'm stumped.

Thinking of body language, I was able to identify my philosophy teacher as a six(w5) half due to his body language, always moving, subtly twitchy, fidling with bits, a sense of him being 'switched on' all the time.

Sixes are kind've Se and P if you wanna try and make a little sense (though not necc. MBTI wise), with an inner world of chaos. I think David from Six feet under is a brilliant example of a six(w7 )who goes through the spectrum...The lower end of the spectrum...
Faith from buffy is another possible six (sx/sp 6w7 or 8w7). Willow was a sp/sx 6w7.
Frollo from the hunchback (both in the book and the movie) is a brilliant example of a sx/sp 6w5 (definate 1w9 in his triad).
Nathaniel Fisher Sr is another 6w5.
If you've seen greenwing, Caroline sp/so and Martin so/sp were both 6w7s.
I realise this is mainly 6w7, I'll find some more 6w5 examples in a bit.

On body language again: I think 6w7s (atleast) are not so good at keeping their emotions clamped out of physical expression, from the start there's all that nervous energy (in average and lower), also, they're a reactive type.
"6w7s can't easily disguise feelings, or rather don't choose to most of the time. 6w5s disguise their feelings just fine for the most part. 6s secretly tend to like being wound up and often make a huge problem out of "nothing"." It's been said 6s (6w7s) can be complainers in the lower average levels. This is probably connected with their...connection to the external, it can manifest in pessimistically pointing out all the negatives/dangers of a situation, complaining, asking others for advice, or just reacting counterphobically to things. A 6w5 or 6 at 3 is less likely to make any 'noise'. 9s can be mistaken for 6s if they disintergrate badly, blowing up and becoming reactive like the six, taking on negative scanning of environment whether financially or about safety bits and bobs (I've not really read this, but I've seen it in a couple of 9 males I know, both fathers).

Take a character like Faith, she reacts/self-destructs, and finally calms down when she's found someone who will stick by her and be her rescuer (The 'rescuer' being a BIG theme in the 6 and often 4). It's like a child who has no boundaries; a very insecure place to be.

Think in the movie Chocolate, not neccesarily that any characters are sixes, but of the situation of the little girl and her mother. With them constantly moving, never ever settling anywhere, the girl isn't going to feel that safe home base, there are no strict borderlines to say 'This is where I am'. So she gets upset, naturally, when her mother decides to move again. Think of sixes as if they have that mother inside them always, constantly bouncing, moving, changing.
 
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