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Which is worse?

  • I'm too wise to answer

    Votes: 5 11.4%
  • Lashing out to others

    Votes: 29 65.9%
  • Hardening one's heart to loss

    Votes: 10 22.7%
  • I'm too humble to answer

    Votes: 0 0.0%
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Lashing out to others, definitely. I would rather hurt myself than hurt someone else. I can't confidently undo what I may have done to another person, but I can help myself if I am hurt by another person.

I also think the two come hand-in-hand. If someone is hurt by loss, then their heart may harden. If their heart is hardened then they may hurt another unknowingly. They could have lost confidence in people leading to mistrust and other things. The two could almost be considered a cycle of being hurt and hurting others.
 

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Lashing out, if only because concerning the other option, no one can rightfully blame you for not expressing a whole lot of care. The implication of the term "lashing out" is sort of that they're not really trying to do it, so it's hard to really fault them for a moment of weakness.
 

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to me, they are almost one and the same, as those most hardened are the hardest to others.

but i pick hardening my heart to loss.

apathy is worse than hatred.
 

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Lashing out. On the few times I have done it, it was unintentional and completely misdirected. However, I've completely unloaded on people before for crossing a certain threshold. I don't consider that "lashing out". I'd far rather be apathetic than cause unintentional harm to someone.
 

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I don't think either option is that bad, but I chose lashing out as the worst.
 

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Lashing out is worse IMO, because you can always heal yourself but if you hurt someone, they're not going to be able to forget that - it will stay with them for a long, long time and may cause them terrible damage. There's more hope if you are responsible for only hurting yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
to me, they are almost one and the same, as those most hardened are the hardest to others.

but i pick hardening my heart to loss.

apathy is worse than hatred.

I agree.

People here are so focused on not "hurting others," that they would hurt themselves.

And then they would be passive aggressive, or lose all meaning of life.

And then they would either hurt themselves more, or hurt others more than they would have if they had lashed out.

You must express yourself.
 

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I agree.

People here are so focused on not "hurting others," that they would hurt themselves.

And then they would be passive aggressive, or lose all meaning of life.

And then they would either hurt themselves more, or hurt others more than they would have if they had lashed out.

You must express yourself.
Ay, but consider, - expressing one's self does not require lashing out. There are a wide variety of ways to express one's self.

Under which circumstances is lashing out an appropriate choice of expression?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Ay, but consider, - expressing one's self does not require lashing out. There are a wide variety of ways to express one's self.

Under which circumstances is lashing out an appropriate choice of expression?
I agree with your point and also with your question being the next question to be asked. Edit: (I'd say you were the too wise or too humble to answer)

You can see the bias in the poll though.

And being that I consider INFJ's the most likely to be spiritual and/ or compassionately humane, I think it a good learning poll.
 

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I toe the line between INFJ and ISTJ My NF and ST are just so close that it could end up being one or the other depending on my mood. If I'm in a dark mood and someone pisses me off, I'm not going to give a damn about my NF side and I'll go ISTJ on them and LASH OUT! They're not my wife...or my kids. So do I care what they think? They don't have to live with me. There are consequences for crossing my boundaries and the people who do had best know that.

I think too many INFJs worry about hurting other people (and ending up being walked all over) that they end up hurting themselves. And in the long run, it leads to depression when you can't take any more of the hurt inside you and become supposedly apathetic (trust me, nobody is truly devoid of emotion unless you're a psychopath). What's more the truth is that you hurt so much that you turn away from the entire world and curl up in a cocoon of self-inflicted hurt and loathing. That's far worse than telling the truth to someone and risking hurting their feelings perhaps for a short time when you know and they know that they've crossed the line with you.
 
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