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Hi ENFJs (or any NFs or types that dated NFs),

What personality types have you dated/married, where it has been good relationship for you? What were the pros and cons, and what did you do to strengthen the relationship? Any relationships that were more challenging and it didn't last? You can expand how you want.
 

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I'm an INXP, and I'm currently dating an ENFJ, I think it's the second one, though the other may have been ESFJ. She's an 8w9 and I'm a 5w4 as well. Frankly I love it! though sometimes it is like we're speaking a different language, and our chats can get awkward, but I don't think either of us really care because we get so much from each other. But looking at the type match ups what the 5/8 combo says seems to be fairly true, when we're in a healthy state we really click, if we're both triggered and in an unhealthy state it can get pretty difficult, but we worked through the first major time that happened, so I'm pretty optimistic if it happens again as we have a baseline on how to get out. As far as others.. I'm not really sure about all of them. I've dated (and married) an ENFP 6 (w7 I think) , and though some things definitely worked, my thinking really rubbed incorrectly with her feeling, even though I'm pretty X in thinking/feeling. Though I know that doesn't necessarily help your question since you asked about NF/ENFJ . Also the ENFP admitted they were borderline, so who knows if that really is typical of a health ENFP/INXP relationship (also I wasn't too healthy back then). But I think the theme here is that you will have better relationships if you're healthy. Most of my girlfriends have been NF's I think and we've all had various levels of success. I've dated a couple NT's... and it went pretty horribly... I just don't find NT's inspiring at all.
 

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I was in a relationship with an ENFP for a few months before I graduated this year from high school and honestly, he is such a wonderful, brilliant person: charming, witty, warm, and with the intelligence to match. He also knew so many things about mathematics; he was taking college courses at our local community college, and he would be there by my side reading books on theoretical mathematics while I'm doing homework. Plus, his passion for his interests shone like a star and I found that mindset to be riveting. It's a killer combo for me. At first he tutored me for physics, and I found him to be such a nerd/dork that it was adorable. He was rather awkward at times because he didn't really understand how to act around others, but he was simply pure and a bit naive. I thought he was an ENTP at first, but he took an MBTI quiz as per my request lately and got ENFP with the feeling stat rather high.

To be honest I'm rather slow in relationships, and my sister calls me "dense". I think that's because I find that it's natural for me to be warm and compassionate around everyone, including around guys who think "wow this girl treats me nice, I think she loves me" while I'm here thinking "this person deserves my utmost attention like everyone else does". Therefore, all the love signals get mixed up. I also think quite a lot about love and what it actually means to me, and I'm not very quick getting into a relationship before thinking about compatibility, our future, and if we have a spiritual feeling of unity. Things such as "Will you be there when I'm at my lowest?", "Do you love me, flaws and all, and patiently understand I'm human just like you are?", and "If we ever parted, will you still feel me in your heart?" are very important questions for me that I think about when I hear the word "love".
Therefore, gifts don't really sway me. My ENFP admitted he was confused about whether or not I loved him initially; he self-wrote and recorded me a 3 minute piano piece, and bought me chocolates on Valentine's too. The problem was that I had many people, guys included, give me gifts such as food and entertainment that I thought this was another form of saying "I enjoy your company as a friend" not "I admire you deeply". It wasn't until he invited me to prom and (he admitted it was very nerve-wracking) he told me so many touching things about me for a promposal that I realized, "He...he actually does love me...".

And cue the wonderful night with dazzling dresses, bubbly fruit juice cocktails, laughs of joy from many friends, wedges that pinch until you decide to take them off, making new dance moves, and slow-dancing (three times!) with your date, as if the universe stopped to admire and see you enjoy what it had to offer you.

Unfortunately, afterwards we seriously thought about having a relationship extending into college and the future was murky. My ENFP just moved here a few years ago and was thinking about returning to his mother country, and he is attending a college 1,500 miles away from mine. That, and we both were pursuing competitive majors in STEM fields which would take up a majority of our time. I saw the challenge, and I tried to think it's possible, but my intuition told me it was best that we moved on. I ended up telling him and reasoned with him in the same manner and he agreed. We did admit to each other that this was the best year in high school by far, and we should see each other again sometime during winter break.
 

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I'm married to an INTP. There are pros and cons. Our Ns work well together and we enjoy thinking about the big picture together. We are both dreamers.The problem is we are both bad at remembering to do things in the present like housework and sometimes get a little resentful of that. We are able to have excellent conversations. Although, when we first started dating, my extraverted thinking clashed with his introverted thinking. He would already have his idea well thought out before he talked, whereas I was creating mine as we talked. As a result, my feelings would sometimes get hurt when he would tear my ideas to pieces. He has learned that I need time to externally process and I've learned that he has already had that time in his head and isn't trying to be mean. He tends to be better at handling the emergencies in life and I'm better at keeping things running like remembering to pay bills, etc. Our affection tends to be shown in the physical and in the small things like remembering someone's favorite candy. We are not good a huge romantic gestures, but we are good at the day to day ones. All in all, we've had our ups and downs, but he is not only the one I love but my best friend.
 

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My ex-fiance was an INFJ .He was too feminine for my liking and wasn't emotionally expressive. He was obsessed with how he looked while I dont give a damn about what I wear lol. I felt like the guy in the relationship. My sense of humor was way better than his.
 
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