Honesty, integrity, and open-mindedness. If someone has these three things, I will like them.
By honesty, I mean that you don't lie to others, and you don't lie to yourself.
By integrity, I mean that you have values that you stick to, even when it's not convenient and may entail significant personal sacrifice.
By open-mindedness, I mean you are willing to reassess a belief you have when you are presented with new and relevant information. It also means that you are willing to hear other people's perspectives and seriously consider them even when they are wildly different from your own. It means that instead of stubbornly clinging to a belief you have, you are genuinely interested in finding truth.
It's easy to be honest when you don't value anything that you could have by way of dishonesty. And that's really what I admire more. If it were a situation where someone would face a firing squad if they weren't honest, and they were honest anyway just to say they're honest...well, I wouldn't admire that. However, if they faced the squad because someone else would if they weren't honest, and they couldn't value their lives with that on their conscience, I'm back to admiring them again. The little transactional honesties and dishonesties work the same way. There just shouldn't be too many occasions for dishonesty if you're not a weenie.
Other than that, I really like:
1. Courage. It makes mischief so much easier to recruit for, so I find that useful in a friend.
2. A sense of proportion. People really engaged with things I share an enthusiasm for, not engaged in things I find boring and/or dumb, and all the various potential shared levels in between. Their interests and/or values don't have to match mine exactly, but I need to be able to see it from their point of view, and for it to make sense as something worth investing in, if one were so inclined.
3. Independence/self-reliance. I am someone who really comes through for my friends when they really need it, but they don't ask unless they really need it. (Mostly because they're not the kind of people who want help.)
4. Trusting. (But now we're back to courage again?) It's more that distrustful people turn me off because it looks so weak. I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen if you put yourself out there? If I get the sense that someone just doesn't trust me, I'll drop them like a hot rock. Many great things involve risk, so I'm not going to make relationships with people who don't take chances. Especially on someone as innocuous as I am.
I find that if people have these things, they're usually pretty sharp, and sharp people (my definition) are usually also funny. Much of life is funny if you can see it, and you can see it if you're sharp. So "fun/funny" is implied, but it's more of a side-effect than a guiding principle. Idiots can be funny, after all, but I wouldn't say I strongly like them.
In other news, it's amazing how talking about funny is so not fun or funny. :dispirited:
There are so many things that I like in people, that it's easier to write the ones that I don't. I don't like people who:
2. impose stuff (including personal) on others
3. read between the lines
4. don't mean/practice what they say
5. are wilfully ignorant
6. don't learn from their mistakes
7. lack confidence
8. have too much confidence
9. are unproductive
10. are over-achievers
Hmm, in the end it's not any easier. It turns out that there are many things that I don't like in people as well.
i like when people are unapologetically themselves, especially when making sacrifices to do so. i have issues with being submissive for the sake of an easy life in the short term (only about trivial day to day matters, but still)
Genuine and interesting people. Those two are the top traits of my closest friends. Also all of them are not the WE-ARE-BFFs!-blabbering-crying-super showy-emotional type so most of the time everything is peachy just how I like it.
I love it when you meet people that you can have a serious, deep-thinking, life changing conversation with one moment, then be laughing at stupid beavis and butthead type humor the next. Good unselfish heart. Integrity, of course. Sense of adventure.