A little help please defining what type I am~ Thanks
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I seek to understand living, to master all of its secrets. I want to find out the secret of not giving an absolute shit about what other people think, and get away with doing my own thing without anyone judging me. I don't desire to be liked really, just to be tolerated and not bothered. I seek to be the master of myself.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I want to get this manga I'm working on with my sweetheart finished, and somehow make enough money where I can help others less fortunate than I. I would love to buy a big complex and rent out rooms for cheap to lower income families who are struggling. I think it would bring them a sense of accomplishment and control back into their life without worrying if they're going to be able to pay for basic things like food and medical care.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid debt of any kind to others, whether it's monetary, karmic, or just personal. I also fear hurting anyone.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Having a pointless existence, failure, not being able to help others in any way, being thought of as ignorant and stupid.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want people to view me as distant, loving, and intelligent. I see myself as intense, self-absorbed, and overly critical. -sigh-
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Solving the problems of a friend, realizing that something I read about or thought about turned out to be right. Whenever something I say or do touches the heart of another in some way. I also love it when I can reach a compromise with someone whom I've had difficulties with. What makes me feel at my worst is when I lose someone I care about deeply, people hate on me for reasons I can't control, when I cause hurt for another without realizing it, or can't find the surefire answer to something.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
All of them are experienced by varying degrees of relentless emotional and mental badgering of myself. While I've never self-harmed or harmed anyone else in any way, and most of my outbursts are brief and short lived, I do get aggressive and start throwing things, slamming my fists on the table, breaking glasses, etc. I never show it around anyone else though, only my love has seen it, and it's only once or twice that she has.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
With stress, I analyze, juggle around possible causes until I find the source, and then analyze some more until I find a solution that I feel would get rid of it. With unexpected change, eh, it varies. My initial thought towards change isn't very good, but oftentimes I come to appreciate it once it's over, as it often makes me a wiser, better person, even if it was unpleasant. Conflict...I avoid it like the plague. I don't like arguments and it upsets me greatly...many times I've squashed my gut feelings and said "ok you're right, I'm wrong" just to get people off my case. I really don't understand how people get off on challenging others.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I. Hate. Authority. I don't like bossing others around, and I hate it when people boss me around. I've always figured, so long as I don't harm anyone, why the heck can't I do what I like? I will follow society's rules to an extent, but you can be damned sure I'm always looking for loopholes of any kind. Power...I don't know. I kind of dislike it, as its often misused. But when people wield power with respect and kindness, and don't use it to force others to do their bidding or use it to make decisions for others, but rather just to carve a niche for themselves in the world, I think it's a great tool to have.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
It is the biggest challenge I've ever faced...I am very much aware of how small and ineffective I am in the whole grand scheme of things. I view all life as very precious and that it must be loved and cared for.
Optional Questions
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Before my current sweetie, I fell hard for another guy in a long distance relationship. He was distant, calm, gentle, and very loving...pretty much everything I wanted to be. We had a pretty good relationship for two years, but then he confessed to not 'feeling the connection' between us anymore. No other explanation. It upset me, and at first I clung to him after he said he wanted to remain friends with me. Shortly after, he started dating this girl who I had suspicions on for a while. She was the one he apparently was talking to in regards as to whether or not he should break up with me. When I found that out, I pretty much effed the whole thing and blocked him/deleted him, and moved residences so he could never find me again.
It wasn't until three years later when I finally approached him again online, cause I felt ready to apologize and to tell him that I was immature to just ditch him without warning. He had since dropped the chick I disliked so much (who according to him, wound up very domineering and had no empathy for what HE wanted to do), and had fallen in love with a girl I knew very well, she was a mutual friend. And I was very happy for both of them. I had no anger or sadness, just happy to see him with someone who was kind and beautiful, and completed him in a way that I couldn't. I attended their wedding and had a blast. That was the last time I talked to them, and probably the last time I will. But I still remember him fondly, I still very much want to be like him. He's still the same...and I have a long way to go still.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I trust people pretty easily. I've got a really good intuitive sense as to when a person is honest. Yes I have been duped before, but only two times (and they hurt a LOT) that I remember out of my entire 34 year old existence.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
For some reason I like the fact that when somebody rants at me, even when it is someone I'm close to, I can easily form an argument to the other party's defense, while I am listening and being supportive to the ranting party. I also like how I generally don't have to look for love, it just comes to me. I dislike how angry I get when people start arguing with me and act like they're superior. I also dislike the fact how I have a tendency to overthink some things, and wind up taking a long convoluted way to solve a problem, only to be informed by someone that there was a much easier way.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I can tell a person's mood pretty quickly, and have an incredible knack of knowing who's being honest with me and who isn't. I don't know how either...I don't see auras, I don't really read their face...I just kind of 'know.' It's weird, but insanely helpful.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
If a stranger insults me, I just stare at them like a deer in headlights for a bit, before heading on my way and trying to squash my mental ramblings of (what the heck did I do to make him say that? was it my mismatched socks? Did I forget to smile again?). If a stranger compliments me, I get suspicious, even if part of me likes it.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
I am thankful for having a sweetheart who completely understands me, lets me be myself, and lets me have my space. I'm even more thankful I can give her the attention she needs. I wish I had more talent (I am a mediocre writer at best...that's it.) and willpower though, to achieve my dreams.
Have fun! Or not.
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I seek to understand living, to master all of its secrets. I want to find out the secret of not giving an absolute shit about what other people think, and get away with doing my own thing without anyone judging me. I don't desire to be liked really, just to be tolerated and not bothered. I seek to be the master of myself.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I want to get this manga I'm working on with my sweetheart finished, and somehow make enough money where I can help others less fortunate than I. I would love to buy a big complex and rent out rooms for cheap to lower income families who are struggling. I think it would bring them a sense of accomplishment and control back into their life without worrying if they're going to be able to pay for basic things like food and medical care.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid debt of any kind to others, whether it's monetary, karmic, or just personal. I also fear hurting anyone.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Having a pointless existence, failure, not being able to help others in any way, being thought of as ignorant and stupid.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want people to view me as distant, loving, and intelligent. I see myself as intense, self-absorbed, and overly critical. -sigh-
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Solving the problems of a friend, realizing that something I read about or thought about turned out to be right. Whenever something I say or do touches the heart of another in some way. I also love it when I can reach a compromise with someone whom I've had difficulties with. What makes me feel at my worst is when I lose someone I care about deeply, people hate on me for reasons I can't control, when I cause hurt for another without realizing it, or can't find the surefire answer to something.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
All of them are experienced by varying degrees of relentless emotional and mental badgering of myself. While I've never self-harmed or harmed anyone else in any way, and most of my outbursts are brief and short lived, I do get aggressive and start throwing things, slamming my fists on the table, breaking glasses, etc. I never show it around anyone else though, only my love has seen it, and it's only once or twice that she has.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
With stress, I analyze, juggle around possible causes until I find the source, and then analyze some more until I find a solution that I feel would get rid of it. With unexpected change, eh, it varies. My initial thought towards change isn't very good, but oftentimes I come to appreciate it once it's over, as it often makes me a wiser, better person, even if it was unpleasant. Conflict...I avoid it like the plague. I don't like arguments and it upsets me greatly...many times I've squashed my gut feelings and said "ok you're right, I'm wrong" just to get people off my case. I really don't understand how people get off on challenging others.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I. Hate. Authority. I don't like bossing others around, and I hate it when people boss me around. I've always figured, so long as I don't harm anyone, why the heck can't I do what I like? I will follow society's rules to an extent, but you can be damned sure I'm always looking for loopholes of any kind. Power...I don't know. I kind of dislike it, as its often misused. But when people wield power with respect and kindness, and don't use it to force others to do their bidding or use it to make decisions for others, but rather just to carve a niche for themselves in the world, I think it's a great tool to have.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
It is the biggest challenge I've ever faced...I am very much aware of how small and ineffective I am in the whole grand scheme of things. I view all life as very precious and that it must be loved and cared for.
Optional Questions
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Before my current sweetie, I fell hard for another guy in a long distance relationship. He was distant, calm, gentle, and very loving...pretty much everything I wanted to be. We had a pretty good relationship for two years, but then he confessed to not 'feeling the connection' between us anymore. No other explanation. It upset me, and at first I clung to him after he said he wanted to remain friends with me. Shortly after, he started dating this girl who I had suspicions on for a while. She was the one he apparently was talking to in regards as to whether or not he should break up with me. When I found that out, I pretty much effed the whole thing and blocked him/deleted him, and moved residences so he could never find me again.
It wasn't until three years later when I finally approached him again online, cause I felt ready to apologize and to tell him that I was immature to just ditch him without warning. He had since dropped the chick I disliked so much (who according to him, wound up very domineering and had no empathy for what HE wanted to do), and had fallen in love with a girl I knew very well, she was a mutual friend. And I was very happy for both of them. I had no anger or sadness, just happy to see him with someone who was kind and beautiful, and completed him in a way that I couldn't. I attended their wedding and had a blast. That was the last time I talked to them, and probably the last time I will. But I still remember him fondly, I still very much want to be like him. He's still the same...and I have a long way to go still.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I trust people pretty easily. I've got a really good intuitive sense as to when a person is honest. Yes I have been duped before, but only two times (and they hurt a LOT) that I remember out of my entire 34 year old existence.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
For some reason I like the fact that when somebody rants at me, even when it is someone I'm close to, I can easily form an argument to the other party's defense, while I am listening and being supportive to the ranting party. I also like how I generally don't have to look for love, it just comes to me. I dislike how angry I get when people start arguing with me and act like they're superior. I also dislike the fact how I have a tendency to overthink some things, and wind up taking a long convoluted way to solve a problem, only to be informed by someone that there was a much easier way.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I can tell a person's mood pretty quickly, and have an incredible knack of knowing who's being honest with me and who isn't. I don't know how either...I don't see auras, I don't really read their face...I just kind of 'know.' It's weird, but insanely helpful.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
If a stranger insults me, I just stare at them like a deer in headlights for a bit, before heading on my way and trying to squash my mental ramblings of (what the heck did I do to make him say that? was it my mismatched socks? Did I forget to smile again?). If a stranger compliments me, I get suspicious, even if part of me likes it.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
I am thankful for having a sweetheart who completely understands me, lets me be myself, and lets me have my space. I'm even more thankful I can give her the attention she needs. I wish I had more talent (I am a mediocre writer at best...that's it.) and willpower though, to achieve my dreams.
Have fun! Or not.
Also, epic reference! I think your head fix could easily be Six, and probably 6w7 at that. Your gut fix is either One or Nine. If it is Nine, it's 9w1. If it's One, it's probably 1w9. I think 1w9 is more likely your gut fix.
