Today, you guys get a quote from the unaired pilot episode, in which Sheldon is a pretty different character, to say the least! Can I get an "Oooooh!"?
Leonard: Took you long enough. Sheldon: Sorry. I got distracted. Leonard: Really? How exactly get distracted making a sperm deposit? Did you find something more interesting in your pants? Sheldon: No. Just the usual contents which I was operating in the traditional manner. But then I started to think. We’re selling our sperm to a high IQ sperm bank and we can’t guarantee high IQ offspring. Extreme intelligence is as much of a mutation as the migrating eye of the flounder. Leonard: Sheldon, you are the only person I know that can take the fun out of masturbation. Sheldon: Fortunately, I stumbled across a magazine that featured women with large buttocks. Leonard: And by “stumbled across” you mean removed from your sock draw and bought with you. Sheldon: Excuse me; this is not a random fetish. Ample hindquarters suggest successful child-bearing. My arousal is a classic evolutionary response.
Later in the episode.
L: Shouldn’t we do something? S: Oh, no, no. I’m not aware of anything in the social code that requires we intervene. L: What about damsel in distress? S: It’s a 12th century code of chivalry. It’s not exactly current. You’d also have to have been knighted for that to apply. L: Are you listening to yourself, Sheldon? This is why I’m your only friend. S: I wonder if you’d feel compelled to help her if she were unattractive. L: I wonder if you’d feel compelled to help if she had a big hiney. S: Once again, that attraction is purely biological. L: Cloak it in science all you want; you’re an ass man!