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It's not that life is extremely difficult as itself, rather, life is extremely difficult because of the people and their needs.

The first thing I remember:

When I was a little boy, the memory I have is of me walking down a sidewalk around afternoon. I am alone and I am not looking at what is near me bur rather the endless stretch of a neighborhood. My age must of been no more than five. I remember thinking that all this is rather strange and then a white wall of light washed out the farthest thing I could see and like a wave roared down towards me and then eventually engulfed me in white.

There is a memory next of when I lifted logs up behind an alley and there beneath the pile swarmed a countless mass of black widow spiders, their hour glass symbol on their backs, shining bright red to me. I remember being so entranced instantly and shortly felt compelled to come into them. Luckily, my sister pulled me back from them.

I remember being held over a pool upside down. My face peering into the clear water. I watched this toy turtle of mine making its way it a spinning tumble to the bottom. My father, who is holding me upside down, is yelling something across the pool to someone else. I think this is rather fun. I had no idea, at the time, that I was being used as threat towards someone else.

As I grew older, I began to have encounters with what people call ghosts. This was from the age of 11 to 17 that I went through nightly terrors of being touched by nothing I could see. Eventually, I saw it, and eventually, I could hear it. My nature of being secretive in my feelings prevented me from ever telling my parents what was happening.

When I was 15 I saw my first UFO. I was playing a RTS game on my computer and for some odd reason I looked up from the screen and out into the night sky. At that exact moment that my eyes met the sky, a silver object, shaped like a stretched egg, burst the clouds. Unlike airplanes that just appear through the clouds, this object ripped the clouds apart as though they were a thin blanket. It came nearly to the top of a two story house in front of me and then began to head away over the houses away from me.

When I was 18, I had my own apartment, and it was in my own living quarters that God came to me. Like Samuel and Abraham, and many others, He spoke to me in my dreams. God told me how the world would end and He also told me how not to die. There is more details to both and I would gladly share but the main thing I remember is the most superior and greatest love that our Father has for us.

From that point on, I experienced many more phenomena. I discovered the ability to move objects without the physical body.

I am now a manager of a Restaurant and in my mid twenties. I am finishing my masters in English Literature.

All my secrets, I keep to myself. There is no one to tell. There is no one like me. The world is full of personalities all craving themselves. I crave nothing but to do good for others and to do good for God. I work out everyday and I have a body that has become a muscular temple. I am told by others that I am extremely happy and extremely calm. Deep down, but always at the surface, I am an ocean of sadness, feeling alone, and stranded into this world surrounded by creatures called humans.

I have never posted here before and I won't post again.

I am looking.
 

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I'll tell you a secret.

I am an ocean of sadness, feeling alone, and stranded into this world surrounded by creatures called humans.
That's what it's like when you're not a telekinetic prophet also.

Good luck with your calling. The world needs a lot of good.
 

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Ghosts, UFOs, telekinesis, a prophet of God, and the body of a warrior monk? That's not a good idea. If you include them all at once people will be definitely be sceptical.

Putting my scepticism aside, if you did experience those things - don't let that make you feel alone. Everyone has their own individual experiences that other people won't be able to understand. Which means you actually do have something in common with them.

Another thought, maybe you should join some spiritual or people-helping organisations? I'm sure you'll find people who wish to help others there, and it might help you feel less alone and more positive.
 

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Do you have schizophrenia? If 'God' appeared to you as he did to the 'prophets', then I diagnose you with it.
 

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You sound kind of like an ISTP.

Regardless, interesting memories.
 
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