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Discussion Starter #1
Hello :heart:

Which enneatype would say is the most empathethic - 2, 3 or 4?

Or it doesn't work that way?

Thank you,
 

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The feeling types would be more empathetic than thinking types. Not that we're immune to it or that feeling > thinking would work consistently across the board (because maturity, age, life experiences, etc), but let's be honest. Empathy arises from feeling functions. So whichever types have the most feelers. That's more likely to be 2 and 4. From there, you have to wonder, which one is most likely to be giving their heart away? 2. So, my rating (entirely hypothetical and arguably wrong) would be:

MBTI: F > T
Enneagram: 2 > 4 = 3
Development level: higher > average > lower.

The reason I wrote 4 = 3 is because 4s are more than a little self-asborbed :bwink: In my experience, their empathy can easily turn into: "It sucks so much that your life has been turned upside down. Let me jump in and tell you about my much less significant problem. (An hour passes by while they talk)." It doesn't happen every time, and I'm sure there are many who don't do it, but I haven't encountered those 4s in my life.
 

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Gloss!

My own mother is E2. She would have you THINK she's the most empathetic, but seriously the woman didn't even know where I was when I was bored lighting matches.

Let's not an Ego define reality.

On the flip side, I once dated a spectacularly sexy 7w8 woman that took in every flea-bitten animal that ever existed.. Not one of those animals could ever enter my home.

And I have no empathy?
 

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Gloss!

My own mother is E2. She would have you THINK she's the most empathetic, but seriously the woman didn't even know where I was when I was bored lighting matches.
It can hurt when a parent didn't care for you the way you wanted. Children need so much care and love. I don't know what your mother's level of development was when she raised you. I referred to that in my rating system.

And I have no empathy?
I said 4=3 on my scale (as in they're on the same level in my perspective), but it looks like you skipped that part.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
The feeling types would be more empathetic than thinking types. Not that we're immune to it or that feeling > thinking would work consistently across the board (because maturity, age, life experiences, etc), but let's be honest. Empathy arises from feeling functions. So whichever types have the most feelers.
thanks for your insight!

Yeah, I was thinking about what could I learn from each type to improve my own empathy. To do that it would be helpful to understand how that empathy is embodied by feeling types. To understand that it would be cruicial for me to know how this empathy is interpreted - is it more external or internal? As you mentioned, perhaps 2s would give their heart away, 4s perhaps would interpret that to get insights, 3s perhaps would use it to find a way to adapt oneself?
What could be the differences for different wings?

But these are only my assumptions from thinking triad so I do not know how it is.

It also interests me how does this empathy feel? For me as a 7 empathy can kick in as overwhelming feeling of pain and compassion, that puts me on the verge of tear everytime I feel that. Or selfless and fulfilling joy about ones happines - so it is more like waves but for feeling triad it could be more like in the background, perhaps?
I'm looking to understand myself and people around me better, that's why I'm asking
 

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@Nakstiigala the enneagram isn't related to things like empathy, as it's focused on fears/motivations of people (every person will have all the fears/motivations of the types, but will generally find one more present than others). Also, in terms of improving empathy, you can do a mental exercise where you consciously try to imagine how something may make another person feel or, if that isn't getting very far, you can imagine how it would make you feel in their place. Empathy is generally your emotional perception of how something feels for someone, so can be inaccurate. However, you don't need empathy to do things like show compassion (although the two often go hand-in-hand), so while someone may be very kind towards you, they may not be able to empathise with you.
 

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It can hurt when a parent didn't care for you the way you wanted. Children need so much care and love. I don't know what your mother's level of development was when she raised you. I referred to that in my rating system.



I said 4=3 on my scale (as in they're on the same level in my perspective), but it looks like you skipped that part.
I hear you. My point was poorly made and I blame the vino. I was trying to say that "empathy", regards the E, often involves the pet projects of people, and whatever they're taken to or like. Makes sense, no? But, at the same time empathy can also be self-created, and as such does that make it real?

For whatever reason, I attract a lot of 7's. They're all rather empathetic at banal standards, but it really doesn't take much to trigger their pain/fear, particularly with people and whatever emotional threat they present. ergo, they (7) have great empathy for whatever poses no controversy in their world. Nice and safe, animals fulfill that role swimmingly.

So, I reiterate, is that actual empathy? Yes. It is. BUT, empathy isn't simply empathy the way a light switch is simply a switch. The quality of their empathy is dependent on the quality that they are able to be at attendance, long term.

The same holds true with my dearest E2... just because you're doing it, does that mean you're actually doing it? Is egotistical empathy really empathy? Not a fan of any thinking otherwise or E ontologies that support people remaining average.

Clunky summation: True empathy is a quality of anyone operating outside their ego, since it's capable of being used as a self-serving object. Empathy, as an emotional experience, the inherent shared shame that coincides with its expression... well, shame triad types shouldn't have a leg up here, as a function of the very ego problems they possess. Equal opportunity.
 
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It's two. I like twos. Because they're givers. I get the attention i want. With four, you always have to listen with their self inflicted feelings.. With threes.. You also have to listen how they wanna look good among their stupid peers and bullshit
 

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Discussion Starter #12
@BlueRaspberry

I watched yesterday video series of enneagram 9 development levels and first thought at healthy levels was your post :sun-smiley:

@owlet sure the enneagram is not based on empathy, but my gut feeling told me that there certainly are some enneatypes focused more on skills like empathy and others on different skills, event if it is not directly related to fears and motivations - empathy is a skill and not everybody has it. I see it as a byprodyct that is created somewhere in the middle of fears and motivaions. Anyways, everything is a subjective opinion without data or studies to support any of the opinions. :) Perhaps you have some literature to suggest regarding empathy or some influencers?


Thank you everybody for sharing, it helped :)
 

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@owlet sure the enneagram is not based on empathy, but my gut feeling told me that there certainly are some enneatypes focused more on skills like empathy and others on different skills, event if it is not directly related to fears and motivations - empathy is a skill and not everybody has it. I see it as a byprodyct that is created somewhere in the middle of fears and motivaions. Anyways, everything is a subjective opinion without data or studies to support any of the opinions. :) Perhaps you have some literature to suggest regarding empathy or some influencers?


Thank you everybody for sharing, it helped :)
Perhaps on the 'performance of' empathy ('Oh, I know how you feel') but not empathy itself. The vast, vast majority of people are emotionally empathetic, while fewer have good cognitive empathy abilities (this can be influenced by conditions such as Asperger's syndrome, where the person is often strongly emotionally empathetic, but has low cognitive empathy and therefore is assumed to be less empathetic overall).
I wasn't sure if you meant literature on enneagram and empathy or just empathy, but this book kind of covers the issue with the idea of empathy in society currently (that it is morality, kindness and compassion). It's pretty interesting - and there are a ton of other books available on google books if you're interested.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
@owlet

kind thanks for your thoughts, knowledge and the suggestion for the book, it seems that you have made your research.
I will get back once I have more estabilished opinion of this topic!

:words:
 

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@owlet

kind thanks for your thoughts, knowledge and the suggestion for the book, it seems that you have made your research.
I will get back once I have more estabilished opinion of this topic!

:words:
No problem! I hope you enjoy it, it's a really interesting topic :)
 

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I'd say it doesn't work that way. As a type 4, people would typically describe us as being self centered and only empathizing with things we can relate to, but I don't relate to that at all. I pretty much empathize with everyone, the problem is becoming close to people and feeling like I'm ready to be myself around them, but empathy is something I couldn't turn off even if I wanted to.
 

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Honestly, none. Image types like to portray what they actually aren't. This whole 2 being the bleeding heart thing isn't accurate at all because they need humility. 9w1s seem like the most empathetic type but the 9w8 may be more so since they don't try to judge others.
 
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