Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,325 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
A very strange thing happened to me as I grew older.... I stopped having crushes.

YES that's right! You heard correctly. I stopped having crushes. Somehow that magical ability in looking at some stranger and daydreaming disappeared after middle school.

In college I only dated after the man developed feelings for me first. I'd usually assess them logically, and decide whether or not to pursue it... and then develop a crush after we begin dating. Strange isn't it?

My last true crush's name was Alex... and we were in middle school. The potential of an actual relationship was non-existant, but boy did I dream. He was so attractive, and yet I couldn't stand his attitude! He was the polar opposite of what I would consider dating but boy he sure was cute. If I met him again, I would not do a double take. My aesthetics have changed over the years LOL

Who was your last crush?
 
  • Like
Reactions: vel and yellowbritt

·
Registered
Joined
·
802 Posts
I've never had one of those crushes where you just look at someone and fall for them. Usually I find a guy that I respect or admire (because he's kind, or he works hard, etc.) and we become friends. Then from friends, as I get to know him more, I come to care for him romantically.

I know that I'm strange. Sometimes one of my friends will look at a guy and ask me if he's hot - and I don't know! It's hard for me to call someone attractive if I don't know who he is. I guess the things I find most attractive are aspects of one's character. Now that's not to say that looks mean nothing to me, but personality really does determine whether someone is attractive or not. Is anyone else this way??

My last crush was my freshman/sophomore year of high school. Chris was two years older than me, tall, blond with blue eyes. He always tried to make people feel better about themselves. I never remember him saying anything intentionally hurtful to someone while I was around, and he always tried to find the good things in people and bring those out more.:proud:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
Used to be same for me too, that in school that I developed way more crushes than when I was in college. But the crushes I develop now are way stronger and longer lasting. My last one happened about 1.5 years ago and went on for nearly a year. School crushes mostly lasted a few weeks to may be 2-3 months. Now most often I simply experience curiosity in somebody else rather than develop any strong emotions for them and this curiosity is more mental/analytical in nature.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
440 Posts
mail man
in my dream i married him even

jean claude vandam lol
yesterday night or so i was watching some shit movie about a corrupt druggy cop
in my dream i went to bed with him

some guy on facebook who runs a fishmonger
i married him in my dream again

i try to stop myself having these crush or imaginations
but sometimes when i see someone attractive to me and my emotions get activated and my intuition turns on
in my head i've already married them and gone through all the stuff you see lol

i wish i don't fall for anyone at all and be self sufficient
i am becoming more like that
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Same thing. Major difference is that my day dreaming and fantasizing have been greatly toned down. What Vel said: Now most often I simply experience curiosity in somebody else rather than develop any strong emotions for them and this curiosity is more mental/analytical in nature.

For the past few years, I'd say I would be intrigued by someone and then start crush-ing on them. In the last year or so though, I have less and less of the "crush" feeling. Just a lot of curiosity about that person. It seems that either my imagination is getting low or i have less energy to dream up stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,367 Posts
I am horrible. i get mini crushes left and right. Its like about once or twice a week lately. Everyone i connect with or have a good moment with I will get really exited about and feel like I love them. This weekend I developed a mini crush but it was quickly dismissed because it was not a complete picture. My type 4 must be going on over drive again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
OOHHHHH!!!! MY HEART!!!! I get crushes all the time. I've had a crush on one girl for almost a year now. I know is really really really pathetic, but I can't help how I feel. I try time and again to try to move on to the next step but its never developed. Before her I had a crush on another girl for a long time. I guess I'm the kind of guy who always hold out hope forever. Love is easily my greatest weakness. :unsure:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
A very strange thing happened to me as I grew older.... I stopped having crushes.

YES that's right! You heard correctly. I stopped having crushes. Somehow that magical ability in looking at some stranger and daydreaming disappeared after middle school.

In college I only dated after the man developed feelings for me first. I'd usually assess them logically, and decide whether or not to pursue it... and then develop a crush after we begin dating. Strange isn't it?

My last true crush's name was Alex... and we were in middle school. The potential of an actual relationship was non-existant, but boy did I dream. He was so attractive, and yet I couldn't stand his attitude! He was the polar opposite of what I would consider dating but boy he sure was cute. If I met him again, I would not do a double take. My aesthetics have changed over the years LOL

Who was your last crush?
How interesting, I've always dated guys who are more interested in me than I am in them. Anyway, the older I get the more I have to be impressed by how the guy acts, and what comes out of his mouth. I could hardly care about looks anymore...but don't get me wrong, I like a bit of eye candy here and there. ;) But as far as "crushes" it takes a while for that to even develop for me now, but when I was younger it didn't take much. :laughing:

Anyway, my last crush was a guy in my math class over the summer. He was deployed twice while in the army, and is in college to get a degree in...Criminal Psychology...I think? Anyway, so he could join the FBI. I didn't think much of him until I heard that...lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
85 Posts
When I was a teen, I had a new crush (seemingly) every week. As a woman (and happily married) I have one crush, that my husband thinks is cute...the actor Gerard Butler. My wonderful hubby will go with me to see every new movie that GB is in. I truly believe that a mild crush can spice up a healthy marriage.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,361 Posts
Somewhere on the forum I wrote that I didn't like anyone till I was well into my adulthood.. I just realised this is wrong :mellow: and I have been falling for several of my teachers since grade 5 :crazy: lol. Maybe I have a daddy complex or something haha. I never liked anyone my or near my age till I was 24. The last crush I had was what I would call a 'real' one, and he lived with me for a while only and then went back to France. I wonder if it was a crush though, I remember feeling like he was the first person I've met like me. The mannerisms, etc and it was a big eye-opener and a relief. For years compared to this person I would say I've always had dulled or fairly distant relationships/ friendships.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
I don't have crushes very often. I don't even really understand what that word means to be honest. I find myself logically assessing potential crushes as well. It takes me a while to develop sincere feelings for people because I like to wait and see if they can be trusted, and if they are genuine themselves. Although I have no problem with one night stands, if someone wants anything more than that I am a little hesitant to stick around for much longer.

The last guy I had a little crush on was a friend of a friend who was very obviously an INTP. I think I have a soft spot for those guys... anyway, we played a lot of games with each other which just intensified my natural attraction, but also kept things from ever evolving. Opening up is quite difficult for me and because of that I don't think I really allow myself to have crushes...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,325 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
I don't have crushes very often. I don't even really understand what that word means to be honest. I find myself logically assessing potential crushes as well. It takes me a while to develop sincere feelings for people because I like to wait and see if they can be trusted, and if they are genuine themselves...
I'm finding that to be truer as I age. I more crushes as a kid than I ever did as a teen, and now even less so. I think the logic is what's doing it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,675 Posts
My last crush was on a fellow INFJ. That sense of empathy and understanding we had for each other combined with the depth of our passion for meaning seemed so electric. Unfortunately she was alreadly involved.

I'm finding that to be truer as I age. I more crushes as a kid than I ever did as a teen, and now even less so. I think the logic is what's doing it.
Sometimes it's good to be naive and chase a dream. Live too much in the real world... and your passion will evaporate. ;)
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top