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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why an ENTJ is a beneficiary in a relationship with ENFPs? What exactly an ENTJ "benefits" from ENFP? And how can an ENTJ spot an ENFP?

Honestly speaking, I belive in MBTI. And according to MBTI, ENFP along with INFP are supposed to be "marriage material" for ENTJ. This intrigues me. How can someone on Earth be able to handle an ENTJ?
 

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Do you remember which source these conclusions came from? Just intrigued, not implying that your source should be called into question. I more often hear that the INTP and ISTP are more complementary 'marriage material' for the ENTJ. Note that both have the T preference, as your F cognitive function is your last.

I only have two examples of ENTJs in my life, and our relations were (1) slightly awkward and (2) epic friendship. Our dynamics usually become a struggle for power, attention, and the punch line, because we both have more aggressive, extroverted approaches.

As for what we get from eachother-- usually just a good time relating Ne to Ni, storming the world with Te, and being an unstoppable force when tag teaming something. The ENFP does have Fi as an auxiliary function though (which is your last, oh no!), so I usually tone down the sentimental business when I'm around my ENTJ friends. This makes me think that both parties would have to work to balance out the Fi obstacle in order to make a relationship satisfying to both parties.

If nothing else, we make fun and challenging debate partners (who often love to par-tay!).

You know you've found an ENFP when they are equal parts silly/adventurous and thoughtful/intellectual. We're easiest to spot when in an extroverted mode, dominating conversations with less obvious puns and connections. As long as debate is kept light and playful, rather than what could be seen as an attack, your ideas will be entertained and appreciated by the ENFP.

Did that help? Don't overlook the ISTP if you're seeking potential relationship types! Sounds like INTP is your best bet, though.
 

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I loveeeee ENTJ's. My oldest brother is this type, and we get along FAB. My sister in law is also and ENTJ. We can talk for hours about so many random things. Their J keeps me grounded , while my P keeps them on their toes. I have no idea what it would be like in a relationship, although they make awesome friends . Personally i feel more balanced with an introvert. Unless the ENTJ in question was a very mild and meek extrovert, i don't think i could handle all the energy it would create.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
What about an ENFP making an ENTJ more "spontaneous"? What do they mean by "spontaneous"? Like jumping off the cliff the moment it comes to the mind while forgetting even hanging a rope around the waist?
 

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Well, you can see how much love INTJs get in the ENFP forum. I imagine that ENTJs would be not too far off in terms of being good matches with us. The common N means that we have "ideas and abstract thought focus" (rather than "stuff and sensory focus") in common. The E means that we both like to spend time with others, be social, don't get exhausted by hanging out with each other. The TJ is softened and loosened up by the FP. Sounds like a pretty great pairing in theory; I've never tried it so can't be sure.

Of course some danger areas would be the structured J being annoyed by the open-ended P; the ever-rational T hurting the F's tender heart; the two Ns being engrossed by their thoughts but not quite knowing how to deal with the broken furnace... that sort of thing.
 

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ENTJs are great. I grew up with an ENTJ and he and I function on the same wavelength. I find his personality/extraversion often tends to dominate mine, but once we get started with the play or even the debating it just snowballs and we can't seem to stop! He is very rigid with his planning whereas I tend to go with the flow. He's also the sort who isn’t interested in meeting half way with anything, and I need to keep the peace so you can guess who wins out most of the time. XD. Though I have to admit, the ENTJ sentimental streak is simply adorable! ;)!

ENTJs share Te and Fi with ENFPs which I find often helps greatly in a dynamic.
Although I do think an ENFP with a strong Fi and not much Te happening would ultimately be squashed by an ENTJ. But as with any other type, two well balanced individuals would do great in an ENTJ/ENFP relationship.
 

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Why an ENTJ is a beneficiary in a relationship with ENFPs? What exactly an ENTJ "benefits" from ENFP? And how can an ENTJ spot an ENFP?

Honestly speaking, I belive in MBTI. And according to MBTI, ENFP along with INFP are supposed to be "marriage material" for ENTJ. This intrigues me. How can someone on Earth be able to handle an ENTJ?
ENTJs, while they usually do well socially and are good at portraying an energetic & fun self, are less adept at long-term romantic relationships that require sensitivity, thoughtfulness, etc. That is NF territory :). I've posted before on how much I love ENTJs. Our strengths and weaknesses generally balance out well, but like Nafatali said - the ENFP must have a fairly well developed Te and hopefully ENTJ has some Fe or Fi for it to work. In my last relationship with an ENTJ I provided fun (this is how we make them spontaneous - along the lines of okay let's do this! because you guys can be workaholics), emotional support, and made them calm down, appreciate the little things, and just spend some time at peace, while they provided me with a kick in the butt when I needed to get moving and a more rational and structured approach to life when my Ne went crazy. As far as spotting XNFPs, they're probably the ones you think are a little eccentric - but in a good way, they're playful, but kind, and probably moralists to an extent. Look for them volunteering different places and/or working in fields like psychology, medicine, and artsy/creative jobs.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
ENTJs, while they usually do well socially and are good at portraying an energetic & fun self, are less adept at long-term romantic relationships that require sensitivity, thoughtfulness, etc. That is NF territory :)
What is the prospect of following a relationship that requires sensitivity, thoughtfulness etc...which is NF territory?
 

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Man, my last boss was an ENTJ. It was epic. I was terrified of him for like 6 months (I had just come from working for someone who was literally psychotic, so it took me a bit to get that the same thing wasn't going to be true in every professional job.) I finally bit the bullet and pushed him one day on something, and a truly fantastic working relationship, never to be equaled, was born. I pushed, and pitched every creative idea ever, and he kept me on a productive course. He was married, (and one of the things i respected the most is that his family is totally the most sacred thing to him) - otherwise I would have been all over it!

eta: one reason why it might work: everyone else thought he was a cold bastard. Me? I thought he was pragmatic - the stuff he felt something about i could read like an open book.
 

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While I don't agree that an ENTJ is a great romantic partner (sure ain't to me at least) I do think they can do well working together or as friends, under certain conditions. My boss is an ENTJ and we agree on a lot of leadership/business stuff since business seems to be one of the only areas in my life where I can detach my emotions, likely due to my business education. However, her judgementalism grinds me sometimes. If we don't agree, she can be pretty harsh with letting you know. I also find it offensive when she tries to "give advice" AKA tell me what to do with family situations beyond the work environment: obviously out of bounds in the 21st century workplace, but she does it with everyone and I know it's part of her being her. Though, that does not excuse it in my opinion.

I really have issues with romance involving NTs as a whole. I believe that most NFs are naturally spiritual whether or not they have a defined religion. But NTs want the observable and the testable, and if they are lacking in social skills, certain NTs I know have been very harsh on me for holding any faith in anything I cannot test or touch. Since that has been my experience, I maintain NT friendships because of the fun and great discussions we have on other subjects. But I can't ever see that in romance.
 

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What is the prospect of following a relationship that requires sensitivity, thoughtfulness etc...which is NF territory?
I don't think it's that impossible. It takes maturity like any relationship, and both partners have to be willing to put in over time with listening and communicating. I think ENTJs underestimate their ability to become romantic. At least the ENTJs I've gotten involved with for a while became almost ENFJish, that's how I know they actually liked me :) They have to do things that might seem unnatural to them and just sort of ritual to express caring about the SO, but once they get into it I think they enjoy it and realize it does keep them emotionally connected. Like I said before, it helps if they have a somewhat developed feeling function, and the ones I've gotten involved with also were the brothers of sisters, so that might have had something to do with it, but it should be something anyone can cultivate. It also helps if they've had some bumps in the road that have made them reflect/deal with emotions or had some experience that have brought down their I don't know what you would call it but I guess arrogance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I don't think it's that impossible. It takes maturity like any relationship, and both partners have to be willing to put in over time with listening and communicating. I think ENTJs underestimate their ability to become romantic. At least the ENTJs I've gotten involved with for a while became almost ENFJish, that's how I know they actually liked me :) They have to do things that might seem unnatural to them and just sort of ritual to express caring about the SO, but once they get into it I think they enjoy it and realize it does keep them emotionally connected. Like I said before, it helps if they have a somewhat developed feeling function, and the ones I've gotten involved with also were the brothers of sisters, so that might have had something to do with it, but it should be something anyone can cultivate. It also helps if they've had some bumps in the road that have made them reflect/deal with emotions or had some experience that have brought down their I don't know what you would call it but I guess arrogance.
I meant it as in "what is it good for?". What is it good for to be able to be sensitive and thoughtful? Because I don't feel like my question was answered. Being ENFJish isn't really an answer. Just being able to connect with emotions? What for? Does it make them do things better? Or what else?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I also find it offensive when she tries to "give advice" AKA tell me what to do with family situations beyond the work environment: obviously out of bounds in the 21st century workplace, but she does it with everyone and I know it's part of her being her. Though, that does not excuse it in my opinion.
Interesting. I could have posted something about that, but since you find her offensive, you probably would find mine too. So in the end, it's a constipated situation whereas one is willing to go beyond their line to solve something...whatever.
 

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I meant it as in "what is it good for?". What is it good for to be able to be sensitive and thoughtful? Because I don't feel like my question was answered. Being ENFJish isn't really an answer. Just being able to connect with emotions? What for? Does it make them do things better? Or what else?
Jokes, I get it. I need to eat something. Emotions/being sensitive or thoughtful allow us to connect with other people, build trust, understand right from wrong. If you try dating a bitchy person or someone who does not care much about you vs themselves it may give you a better idea of why being thoughtful is important. It's not necessary to be weeping all the time, but little gestures to let people know you care can mean a lot to them or just make them more comfortable opening up to you - which is not what ENTJs are focused on most of the time, so I don't know how you as an individual value that, but I think they help if you want a lasting and happy relationship..at least maybe with anyone other than another NT. How else are you supposed to let a person know you care if not by actions? Have you ever been in a serious relationship, just curious?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Jokes, I get it. I need to eat something. Emotions/being sensitive or thoughtful allow us to connect with other people, build trust, understand right from wrong. If you try dating a bitchy person or someone who does not care much about you vs themselves it may give you a better idea of why being thoughtful is important. It's not necessary to be weeping all the time, but little gestures to let people know you care can mean a lot to them or just make them more comfortable opening up to you - which is not what ENTJs are focused on most of the time, so I don't know how you as an individual value that, but I think they help if you want a lasting and happy relationship..at least maybe with anyone other than another NT. How else are you supposed to let a person know you care if not by actions? Have you ever been in a serious relationship, just curious?

Interesting topicI would have to say. I don't know how you are going to accept that. Perhaps my approach could be seen very harsh. But I think none of it is unfounded. Being an ENTJ gives you an ability to be beyond the details of human relationships. Be detached from the same things that you call "thoughtful" and "sensitive" and allows you to focus on the outcomes. The outcomes give me the idea of whether the "thoughtfulness" and "sensitiveness" hold any weight. Unfortunately, my personal experience shows that they do not. I personally do not believe that being thoughtful and sensitive in real sense is even real or possible. I think there is alot of abuse in this matter enough to call my any effort off to deal with it. On the very extreme of this situation, I think I would have hurt someone if they wronged me on something that you probably can digest better than me. Me staying away from this is more of their protection than mine. Of course this is the harshest extreme. So it stays in some kind of balance (if you can call it that way) which even I cannot exactly comprehend.

I have never been in a serious relationship for the reasons above.
 

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Interesting topicI would have to say. I don't know how you are going to accept that. Perhaps my approach could be seen very harsh. But I think none of it is unfounded. Being an ENTJ gives you an ability to be beyond the details of human relationships. Be detached from the same things that you call "thoughtful" and "sensitive" and allows you to focus on the outcomes. The outcomes give me the idea of whether the "thoughtfulness" and "sensitiveness" hold any weight. Unfortunately, my personal experience shows that they do not. I personally do not believe that being thoughtful and sensitive in real sense is even real or possible. I think there is alot of abuse in this matter enough to call my any effort off to deal with it. On the very extreme of this situation, I think I would have hurt someone if they wronged me on something that you probably can digest better than me. Me staying away from this is more of their protection than mine. Of course this is the harshest extreme. So it stays in some kind of balance (if you can call it that way) which even I cannot exactly comprehend.

I have never been in a serious relationship for the reasons above.
Yeah, I definitely understand and appreciate the NT ability to be objective and detached, and it's very useful in many circumstances, including romantic relationships. Being thoughtful and considerate (perhaps sensitive was the wrong word to use) doesn't mean you should be this way towards people who wrong you or you are not close with or those you don't trust. It doesn't mean allowing people to walk all over you. It just means that once you have found someone that you know has your best interests at heart, you make the effort to let them know that you appreciate and value what they do for you or just try to make life a little easier for them. It doesn't need to be extreme - for example I'm staying with my sister right now for a while and she has a big exam coming up and I know she's stressed so while shopping today I bought her favorite ice cream and chocolate for her. It requires trusting people until they give you a reason not to, and if you know what to look for, you can usually spot the red flags of someone who will not treat you well and get out before any real damage is done. And there are trustworthy and genuinely kind people out there :) and I think it is worth going through a few jerks to get to them.
 

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I honestly don't believe in the so called mbti compatibility whatsoever.
Please explain; I'm curious as to what you think and why. You don't believe that certain Types get along better than other certain Types? Or do you believe that any Type can get along just as well as long as both people are mature/ healthy versions of their Type? I'm not harshing... just interested...
 

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Or do you believe that any Type can get along just as well as long as both people are mature/ healthy versions of their Type? I'm not harshing... just interested...
^ this. I'm in a great relationship with an ENTP. It's the most rewarding relationship I've ever been in. And far better than the ones I've had with INFJ's or INTJ's which I'm supposed to be the most compatible with. If you want a relationship to work you can't base it off what you read on the internet about personality types.
 
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