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No INTJ here but from my experience with FE Dom it just doesn't work. Married to an ESFJ in the past and recently dated a ENFJ--probably they were just unhealthy but I could never give enough affirmations and my need for 'alone time' was taken as an insult and brought up all kinds of insecurities.
We Fe users do like affirmation, but if your SO understands your tendencies there should be a good balance attainable between given and required affirmation
 
I believe neither ENFJ nor ENFP are "better" matches for an INTJ, though there are probably more conflicts between INTJ and ENFJ than between ENFP and INTJ. I've had great experiences with both types, though not romantic.

The biggest difference is expectation. INTJ and ENFP simply "flow," and in my experience there has been virtually no conflict between the two if they are somewhat well-developed. This is because the ENFP and INTJ deal with the world as mediated by shared functions, Te and Fi. The third function of each is childish and inconsistent, but can be "picked up" by the other partner. The biggest problem here is inertia, and not getting stuff done. My ENFP soulmate and I come up with the coolest ideas for things, but neither of us ever get them done. And, most importantly, she can't really help me live in the moment which is a recurring problem for INTJ that leads to boredom and restlessness. The vivaciousness of our friendship stalls, even though it remains comfortable - there isn't a lot of excitement. Coordinately, we can't make ENFP feel as comfortable with life as, say, a developed ISTJ could.

As far as ENFJ go, we usually click with Ni right away but I have to constantly learn their language and give it back if they're not to scold me for not being "nice" or sufficiently appreciative. They need feedback, and what we would consider to be sappiness is a mainstay for them. You really have to learn their language and work with them, as opposed to sticking to your own defaults, which can be tiring but rewarding as well. ENFJ can help INTJ out of inertia with Se - aka doing bat shit crazy stuff now and then.

The theoretical best match for an INTJ is the ESFP, and I can attest to it.
 
Two of my very best friends are ESFPs. The flipped functions are part of the reason we are friends. However, I don't think I could date one, because of their Se dominance (or as you put it they do "bat shit crazy stuff").
Yeah, they are crazy and generally take a large amount of patience and functional development to "deal" with. Actually, I think the duality thing works optimally with INTJs who have developed past Te and need exposure to new experiences. As well as those who have steady access to "N-talk" and don't need to be talking about nuclear physics every day to feel comfortable with their everyday interactions with others.

Not sure about you, but I don't generally get along with the more business-y ones - much better with those who are scatterbrained and appreciate a structured plan. The nice thing is that they really do get rid of that solipsist melancholia that comes about when we sit around on the computer all day. They make is seem rational to do things that we would usually perceive to be irrational, because they remove us from the ruts of rigid thinking styles.
 
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