please don't misunderstand. did my way of typing sounded like i dislike INTJs? I apologize. Truthfully I'm just curious as I find you guys really different from INFJ. Thanks for giving your point of view btw. there's a INTJ whom i really want to know better:laughing:I gathered you don't like INTJs. Now it would appear that this is extended to ISTJs. If you will state which MBTI types you like, perhaps we can be of assistance in directing you to those forums.
We tend to be private people, only sharing more about ourselves when we feel the person we are interacting with to be trustworthy.
Agreed... (if that was directed at me...) I know he's afraid because I'm in the middle of a separation and he's doesn't want to get to involved. Yet he continually reaches out to me... It is what is. As it stands he's a good friend...and if he ever reveals his true self I will be there to listen...At some point he'll have to open up, or the relationship will die.
I've only once been in a relationship long enough that I trusted the other person with some of my deeper thoughts/feelings/personal information. Even at that point, some of the deeper subjects she would have to pry out of me. Even if I wanted to tell her, it was just difficult to let come out of my mouth without me analyzing it before it came out. And like someone stated earlier in the thread, when I talk about myself I often times get interrupted as well and feel that I'm being boring. I actually had that happen yesterday to me and when I thought of that I immediately stopped being the talker and was the listener for the remainder of the evening.He basically said that for him it takes time...and he doesn't even know himself... From my ISTJ research I'm thinking that time may be infinity! lol :crazy:
Just projecting this kind of open mentality is probably the best way to get us to open up to you... We can definitely be very slow about this sometimes (or, all the time), but trying to drag us into the light is sure to backfire. I know that nothing shuts me up faster than "so tell me a bit about yourself..."...and if he ever reveals his true self I will be there to listen...
oh, i didnt know that, thanks for sharing =)If I do start to talk about myself, I always feel that I am extremely boring and that people don't really care about what I have to say because I tend to get interrupted when talking about myself or the subject changes really quickly so I save everyone's time by not doing it...
oh thanks for this, I'll keep that in mind =Dsomeone else wondering about the istj shell i think it quite simple actually
we are afraid of people knowing our emotion because of what they may think of it and unless we are 95% sure of what we are going to get like reaction or that the person it is told too is trusted so i think that why we are like that when talking about ourselves i might be totaly wrong but i think that why
That's a shame....I don't know you obviously but the ISTJ I'm talking about is anything but boring... He's actually one of the most different and interesting people I've met in years. And that's based on the basic details I know about him...imagine how much more interesting he'll be when he decides to reveal the deeper things. But I can somewhat relate because I'm selective about who I open up to as well... And I realize you can't force people to open up. I clamp shut when people try to force things out of me... I just hope he doesn't feel that he's boring or what he has to say is of no value because that's so far from the truth. I find you all interesting from what I've read around the ISTJ forum...And like someone stated earlier in the thread, when I talk about myself I often times get interrupted as well and feel that I'm being boring. I actually had that happen yesterday to me and when I thought of that I immediately stopped being the talker and was the listener for the remainder of the evening.
BTW I think before I got to that point where I felt comfortable sharing these details was after I had known her for roughly 6 months or so.