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Discussion Starter #1
When it comes to talking about the normal stuff, ISTJ are usually really blunt and straight forward
but once the topic is on themselves
they go round in circles!! Its kinda hard to understand why.
R u ISTJs afraid or something?
 
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I gathered you don't like INTJs. Now it would appear that this is extended to ISTJs. If you will state which MBTI types you like, perhaps we can be of assistance in directing you to those forums.

We tend to be private people, only sharing more about ourselves when we feel the person we are interacting with to be trustworthy.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I gathered you don't like INTJs. Now it would appear that this is extended to ISTJs. If you will state which MBTI types you like, perhaps we can be of assistance in directing you to those forums.

We tend to be private people, only sharing more about ourselves when we feel the person we are interacting with to be trustworthy.
please don't misunderstand. did my way of typing sounded like i dislike INTJs? I apologize. Truthfully I'm just curious as I find you guys really different from INFJ. Thanks for giving your point of view btw. there's a INTJ whom i really want to know better:laughing:
 
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Please forgive me--I confused you with another member. No, you have not said anything negative about INTJs. So sorry.:blushed:
 

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I am a very private person and only like my trusted friends to know about me. And I don't like to talk about myself in general. If I do start to talk about myself, I always feel that I am extremely boring and that people don't really care about what I have to say because I tend to get interrupted when talking about myself or the subject changes really quickly so I save everyone's time by not doing it... though, that could just be a self-esteem issue. However In general, I would rather that only a few trusted friends know about me.
 

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same as all the above. I too only really talk to people I trust, and often I feel as if I don't have much interesting things to say...Especially compared to the more adventurous types I often seem to find myself in the company of.

basically, we don't know how you will respond and figure a neutral/no response is better than a negative one.

OWL
 

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someone else wondering about the istj shell i think it quite simple actually

we are afraid of people knowing our emotion because of what they may think of it and unless we are 95% sure of what we are going to get like reaction or that the person it is told too is trusted so i think that why we are like that when talking about ourselves i might be totaly wrong but i think that why
 

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Ditto on being a private person, certain things i share by those i know i can trust. With others i am civil and talk with you but if you try to go into knowing about me things become diverted:laughing:
 

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I've asked myself this same question... An ISTJ has reached out to me and started up a friendship... It's a long story but over the last several months he's managed to draw me out and may just know more about what's going on in my crazy life than even my closest friends. For some reason I just sense that he's sincere and trustworthy... And I value his directness and honesty. Yet when the tables are turned I get very little information about him in return. I know a lot of the basics. What he likes to eat, where he likes to go, what he likes and doesn't like... I managed to squeeze his "dreams" out of him but that took some work. When I asked him why his previous relationships failed and if he's ever been in love he completely shut down and I didn't hear from him for about 3 weeks....I had spoke to him every day prior to that. So I haven't mentioned that topic again... :unsure:

He called me a couple days ago and we talked for over 2 hours...towards the end of the conversation I said to him... "you know pretty much my entire life story by now...yet you share very little when it comes to the deep topics".... His response was "well that's probably because you have so much going on in your life right now and I just happened to come along at a time when you needed somebody to talk to...otherwise you wouldn't share either.." Which has some truth to it...but I said "then if nobodies sharing how do you get to know each other???".... He basically said that for him it takes time...and he doesn't even know himself... From my ISTJ research I'm thinking that time may be infinity! lol :crazy:

Anyway, I have nothing bad to say about him...he's great. But sometimes discussions that are about him feel like squeezing blood out of a turnip...
 

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At some point he'll have to open up, or the relationship will die.
Agreed... (if that was directed at me...) I know he's afraid because I'm in the middle of a separation and he's doesn't want to get to involved. Yet he continually reaches out to me... It is what is. As it stands he's a good friend...and if he ever reveals his true self I will be there to listen...
 
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When it comes to talking about the normal stuff, ISTJ are usually really blunt and straight forward
but once the topic is on themselves
they go round in circles!! Its kinda hard to understand why.
R u ISTJs afraid or something?
I have no idea what your talking about
 

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He basically said that for him it takes time...and he doesn't even know himself... From my ISTJ research I'm thinking that time may be infinity! lol :crazy:
I've only once been in a relationship long enough that I trusted the other person with some of my deeper thoughts/feelings/personal information. Even at that point, some of the deeper subjects she would have to pry out of me. Even if I wanted to tell her, it was just difficult to let come out of my mouth without me analyzing it before it came out. And like someone stated earlier in the thread, when I talk about myself I often times get interrupted as well and feel that I'm being boring. I actually had that happen yesterday to me and when I thought of that I immediately stopped being the talker and was the listener for the remainder of the evening.

BTW I think before I got to that point where I felt comfortable sharing these details was after I had known her for roughly 6 months or so.
 

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...and if he ever reveals his true self I will be there to listen...
Just projecting this kind of open mentality is probably the best way to get us to open up to you... We can definitely be very slow about this sometimes (or, all the time), but trying to drag us into the light is sure to backfire. I know that nothing shuts me up faster than "so tell me a bit about yourself..."

If you asked specific personal questions, though, and the ISTJ trusted you, you could probably get some answers.
 

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Because they are very private individuals.

I relate this to INFJs - we deeply empathize with our inner circle, but we're also very reserved/private and it takes trust before we start feeling comfortable about sharing details about ourselves. I think INFJs and ISTJs are very similar in this regard in that we express our love for someone through our actions (rather than words) and even those we love, we usually don't offer up information, unless asked and pried of us. I think we both tend to want to analyze things that come out of our mouths (in different ways) before we say things.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
If I do start to talk about myself, I always feel that I am extremely boring and that people don't really care about what I have to say because I tend to get interrupted when talking about myself or the subject changes really quickly so I save everyone's time by not doing it...
oh, i didnt know that, thanks for sharing =)
 
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Discussion Starter #17
I have no idea what your talking about
Simply to ask why are ISTJs are closed up. but I kinda get it now. they are just plainly private people X)
 
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Discussion Starter #18
someone else wondering about the istj shell i think it quite simple actually

we are afraid of people knowing our emotion because of what they may think of it and unless we are 95% sure of what we are going to get like reaction or that the person it is told too is trusted so i think that why we are like that when talking about ourselves i might be totaly wrong but i think that why
oh thanks for this, I'll keep that in mind =D
 
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And like someone stated earlier in the thread, when I talk about myself I often times get interrupted as well and feel that I'm being boring. I actually had that happen yesterday to me and when I thought of that I immediately stopped being the talker and was the listener for the remainder of the evening.

BTW I think before I got to that point where I felt comfortable sharing these details was after I had known her for roughly 6 months or so.
That's a shame....I don't know you obviously but the ISTJ I'm talking about is anything but boring... He's actually one of the most different and interesting people I've met in years. And that's based on the basic details I know about him...imagine how much more interesting he'll be when he decides to reveal the deeper things. But I can somewhat relate because I'm selective about who I open up to as well... And I realize you can't force people to open up. I clamp shut when people try to force things out of me... I just hope he doesn't feel that he's boring or what he has to say is of no value because that's so far from the truth. I find you all interesting from what I've read around the ISTJ forum...
Anyway...thanks for sharing ISTJs..
 

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I just don't feel the need to talk about myself. I don't want to burden other people with my problems or have them feel sorry for me. In a work environment especially, there is no need to share personal details unless it makes the work more efficient. And if people really want to know me they'll show it in their actions and try to earn my trust.
 
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