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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If a woman cannot reach a climax during sexual intercourse/activity, where does that responsibility lie?

Is it her/his sexual inexperience? Her hormones? He's doing something wrong?
 

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Possibly a combination of all those? Depends on the case? You answered your own question :)
 

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It depends on the situation. Several factors may contribute to a woman's inability to orgasm. The blame may not even strictly rest with any individual. There's a condition called anorgasmia that is much more common in women than in men, and it is caused by numerous factors: hormonal imbalances, medical problems, antidepressants, drug use, injuries/trauma in the pelvic/vaginal area, etc...
 

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I think there are physiological and psychological components, but I've read somewhere that most women who don't orgasm from intercourse can orgasm through masturbation so assuming she's physically healthy and does not currently have any sort of injury or trauma or not on certain medications, I'd say it's mostly psychological.

The theory I buy is that for a lot of women to be able to orgasm, the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear and anxiety have to be suppressed, and if they have sex with men with whom they don't feel truly safe and secure or have any sort of unresolved issues in their relationship, this will affect their ability to orgasm.
 

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In my experience/from what I've heard from friends:

Her not feeling comfortable enough
Her emotional state
Her not knowing what she needs to get an orgasm
Him not listening to her
Him not trying very hard and/or being lazy
 

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If a woman cannot reach a climax during sexual intercourse/activity, where does that responsibility lie?
Is it contingent on the man? Then the responsibility lies in the woman; if he isn't satisfying her, she should teach him to. We can only feel our own bodies. And if he's aware she is not enjoying herself but is too selfish to care, she should not have sex with him. He doesn't need to raise anymore like him anyway. We all are responsible to be strong and not let someone take advantage of us.

Is it her/his sexual inexperience? Her hormones? He's doing something wrong?
I know a woman that can't orgasm, but did not start masturbating until her early 20s. I've heard that orgasm is a learned response in women, and is something best taught to oneself in her earlier years. I've also heard that l-arginine can be of some help to women with ED, though I am sure there are other physical limitations than a vitamin deficiency. I am unaware of most physical causes, though aware they exist.
 

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A little off topic, but does anyone think they know why a man wouldn't be able to orgasm?
I have a male friend who claims he's never had an orgasm. He ejaculates, but doesn't orgasm (from masturbation. He's a virgin).
 

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This is all assuming the female is healthy and has no underlying conditions. It depends what sort of sexual activity you're talking about. Most women can't climax from penetration only and require additional stimulation. On the other hand, most can climax from masturbation. There's got to be a million reasons why, but to name a few:
1. When you're alone you feel more comfortable usually
2. You can always think of fantasies which you might feel guilty thinking about while having sex with a partner
3. Chances are, you'll be able to find the spots you like easier than someone else
etc...

Male anatomy is a lot more straightforward than female anatomy, so it's a lot easier to figure out what "works" for a guy. A guy will almost never bring a woman to orgasm as easy as she can herself (but if he does, chances are it will be better than when done on your own). Ie, he can change pace which may lead to frustration in the female and then it's almost impossible to climax. But I think the key would be that the woman needs to be relaxed, comfortable, and the partner willing to listen to her.
 

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A little off topic, but does anyone think they know why a man wouldn't be able to orgasm?
I have a male friend who claims he's never had an orgasm. He ejaculates, but doesn't orgasm (from masturbation. He's a virgin).
I think it's usually psychological, though certain medical conditions like thyroid disorders could cause it, as far as I recall. Why doesn't he look up Male Orgasmic Disorder or talk to a specialist?
 

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Speaking from personal experience-
I could not climax because I was not fully aroused, and I felt like I was doing it for him and not for me.

There are a great number of things that can prevent a woman from achieving orgasm. I read into this particular topic after consistent sexual disappointment.

I am more than capable of having orgasms- clitoral, vaginal, and blended- But, thus far, have only experienced them on my own.
I was convinced I'd never experience pleasurable sex, but that negative mindset itself is a big part of it.
Other preventing factors may include:
-Familiarity. Women who've been masturbating for a large portion of their lives know exactly what to do, how, and when to do it. It can be difficult for a partner to learn this pattern, especially if one is not adequately voicing their wants/needs.
-Discomfort. It can take a good while for many of us to allow another person to get so intimately close without being at least a little nervous.
-Negative outlook. I have read more than a few times that sex is more psychological for most females. If you don't think you're going to enjoy yourself, have other things on your mind, are not fully aroused, or are just not interested in sex it will be difficult to climax.
-Inconsistency. Even when I masturbate, it takes a repititive movement to get me where I want to be. In my experience with males, things were always changing- slowing down, speeding up, abruptly stopping.
There is nothing wrong with adding variation in speed and motion at all, but it is better for warming up, and not for getting off.


Some are just better performers in bed than others, but we cannot always be so quick to point the finger when we aren't getting what we want.
 
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I was under that impression as well. I didn't believe him at first, but then I thought, "Why would he be lying about this?"
either your friend cannot ejaculate or he doesn't understand what it is.
if he says he ejaculates, he can have an orgasm. they are the same thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
@Autumn Raven
when you aren't getting what you want, it's you that's the problem.

am i incorrect?

if i can't come, it's me. i don't find her sexually or physically attractive but that doesn't make sense,
i wouldn't be involved with her anyway if i didn't find her sexually and physically attractive.
 

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@Autumn Raven
when you aren't getting what you want, it's you that's the problem.

am i incorrect?

if i can't come, it's me. i don't find her sexually or physically attractive but that doesn't make sense,
i wouldn't be involved with her anyway if i didn't find her sexually and physically attractive.
Sometimes, yes, it is me.

I have had sex out of pity, in the past, with someone I was not physically attracted to. My inability to enjoy it was no doubt a fault of my own.
 

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either your friend cannot ejaculate or he doesn't understand what it is.
if he says he ejaculates, he can have an orgasm. they are the same thing.
He may mean having no feeling during ejaculation, which is a real problem.
There was a episode on TLC's strange sex about it, as I remember.
 
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you are free to do whatever you please madame :]
Why, thank you :) I've actually read in several medical magazines that orgasm and ejaculation, while one often accompanies the other, aren't connected. But other than disclose facts I've read, I lack primary research on that front considering that I don't have the appropriate genitalia needed. (:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Why, thank you :) I've actually read in several medical magazines that orgasm and ejaculation, while one often accompanies the other, aren't connected. But other than disclose facts I've read, I lack primary research on that front considering that I don't have the appropriate genitalia needed. (:)
what kind of magazines are this? who has made the distinction? is the source reliable?

curious. thank you, however. i do wonder. there *is* a distinction, but i presume they have similar functions.
 
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