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I don't know if this is related to the fact that I am an INTP but I thought maybe someone can discuss this with me?

In real life I feel incapable of having feelings or detached from my own feelings, and when I do, I feel anxious and empty, almost like my feelings are repressed within me, which is much similar to a symptom of narcissistic or borderline personality disorders. However I am not entirely incapable of feeling, I find myself having strong emotional responses to arts and especially music. For example, I've never loved a person in real life but I truly truly feel love when I listen to "Liberation" by Pet Shop Boys, and I hear nostalgia in many supposedly happy songs and it feels so good to be able to feel. Crying to me is cathartic and enjoyable, much better than what I normally experience every day.

So I guess my question is, why do you think I have little emotional response to real life experience and how do I deal with the lack of emotions which I find very problematic and painful?
 

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It's normal, It's because of our inferior Extraverted Feeling. Basically, It's pretty hard for us to feel intense emotions on our own, so we normally use stimuli like watching movies to really get to provoke it
There was this really good post I read regarding this subject that explained it better, it's probably lost forever but I'll try to find it
All I can say for now is that it's normal :penguin:
 

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<[snip]> So I guess my question is, why do you think I have little emotional response to real life experience and how do I deal with the lack of emotions which I find very problematic and painful?
1) Youth 2) Inexperience Younger INTPs are still perfecting their preferences for introverted Thinking, Ti, then extraverted iNtuition, Ne, and then soaking content inward via introverted Sensing, Si, to spend significant time exuding extraverted Feeling, Fe. Ti has precise means, such as natural, computational, and mathematical languages, to accomplish its work, and at least one natural language is available for each individual's use. Fe may not have means sufficiently well-developed to be useful for the younger person of any Type, and especially so for IxTPs. With more life experience with high-quality emotional training, e.g., classical music, classical and contemporary art appreciation, and those portions of world literature that best represent and express the range of human emotions, some sense of emotional appreciation can be taught by others more experienced to those who need and want to learn to feel some semblance of appropriate emotions concurrent with artistic experience. Eventually, with increased personal age, one may transfer the learned emotional reactions to appreciation of actual real people in real-time, real life, interactions. In one's later years, with Ti well-mastered, Ne well-experienced, and Si readily-recallable, Fe will feel more comfortable to assert itself within the safer environs of an otherwise well-developed personality structure.
 

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@Weasel Caretaker
I think a bit more clarity would help with this.

Do you mean you have difficulty reacting in real time, or is it just difficulty feeling anything at all? I ask because in my own experience, I don't like to react emotionally to anything until I'm alone or have had time to process everything. Then, it feels ridiculous to feel anything because the moment has passed, so I just move on.

I do have strong reactions to art and music. There are certain songs I play when I really need to cry but can't. It's strange how helpful that is.

In short, have you noticed what you're repressing or when you're repressing it? That may help determine how to deal with it.
 

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I don't know if this is related to the fact that I am an INTP but I thought maybe someone can discuss this with me?

In real life I feel incapable of having feelings or detached from my own feelings, and when I do, I feel anxious and empty, almost like my feelings are repressed within me, which is much similar to a symptom of narcissistic or borderline personality disorders. However I am not entirely incapable of feeling, I find myself having strong emotional responses to arts and especially music. For example, I've never loved a person in real life but I truly truly feel love when I listen to "Liberation" by Pet Shop Boys, and I hear nostalgia in many supposedly happy songs and it feels so good to be able to feel. Crying to me is cathartic and enjoyable, much better than what I normally experience every day.

So I guess my question is, why do you think I have little emotional response to real life experience and how do I deal with the lack of emotions which I find very problematic and painful?
You'll find that when you do feel emotion toward people it'll be fleeting, usually, and very, very powerful. But then you'll question it like you question everything. And then you'll probably get at least a little frustrated that you're questioning your emotion toward that person. This process will happen over and over and over again, until you gain enough practice at it that you will begin to see the "whys" of what you felt, and in the moment when you feel your "why" side, the questioner, won't shut off quite as much as it did before (not that it ever completely shuts off). This is integration, and it feels swell.
In other words: this too shall pass.

Also, I agree with Ragtail--> This is normal.

Because we're split Ti to Fe (questioner/logician to Dramatic Feely Person), and because Ti is dominate in us, we tend to go through life analyzing things like crazy... uhh... analyzer people... without much regard for those "things" having emotional or moral qualities in the slightest. But having an "inferior function" Fe doesn't mean that Fe is nonexistent in us. Instead it means that Fe (our feely, over-the-top, cries at movies and doesn't admit it side) is there, in the background, all the time saying things that Ti ignores. And keeps ignoring, and ignoring, until in bursts of powerful emotion Fe blots everything out for a few minutes... then returns to being ignored.

The resulting effect is that we're basically Vulcans. Only we go through emotional periods much more frequently and don't feel the immediate need for sex (most of the time) when we're going through them.

It might not be much, but at least sometimes try out ethics when your morality seems to be turned off. Do what you think you should, when your feely side isn't up to the task of making you feel like you should do it. Because it's logical to do, and not because it's right (although ideally those two things should coincide, see?).
 

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I also have this kind of problem. Sometimes, even though I know that I should feel something towards someone, I just can't, and sometimes it feels like I'm just simulating my emotions based on what I'm supposed to feel in some situations. I have very few friends and, even though I know some of them since my childhood, sometimes I don't feel anything towards them at all (but I do enjoy their company when is needed). I also can easily left people behind without much consideration as I unfortunately did with some of my friends, but I usually regret it afterwards. I don't know, sometimes my feelings are so artificial that it makes me question if I have them at all (even though I know I do have them, I'm just not in touch with them). I know that this is apparently normal for an INTP, but it still makes me somewhat uncomfortable when confronted with emotional situations.
 

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I don't relate to feeling nothing. The emotions are there but they're intense, painful and overwhelming, which is why they're compartmentalized. Like a Vulcan.

Most people just seem to freely express their emotions, often superficial or spur of the moment. A few minutes later and they've forgotten it ever happened, like water off a duck's back. A girl is upset, a girl cries, the next day it's as if it had never happened. How deep is her pain? Not deep at all.
 

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You're alright. Just be yourself. Live long and prosper.
 

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I can relate to this. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to.. I mean, it used to inherently bother me, I'd be all "I need to feel more!" and sometimes this would lead to Se craziness, trying to "feel" things by abandoning my NT functions. Does not work, let me tell you. lol.

Nowadays it bugs me more because it tends to result in feeling socially alienated, not "feeling" what the masses are into. Maybe this is why NT's form elitist circles? haha

Edit: Oh yeah.. it also leads to my frustration with situations like this..: http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/779842-first-hand-experience-superior-thought-imagination.html
 

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Most people just seem to freely express their emotions, often superficial or spur of the moment. A few minutes later and they've forgotten it ever happened, like water off a duck's back. A girl is upset, a girl cries, the next day it's as if it had never happened. How deep is her pain? Not deep at all.
I once thought that.

Really it's more like that pain is still there, but it's mingled with happiness and sorrow and anger and a bajillion other things at once, and she's grown up with all of those things going on at the same time and so she can function like that when to you and me it would be an impossible maelstrom to navigate.

But it's the same for our logics--right? We see the world in such fine shades of grey and black and white, that there are so many possibilities for what actually is or could be. We have muddled, clairvoyant, intense logic that it's hard for many other types to survive in, much less enjoy. Just as major Fi types have the most confounding feels ever.
But that doesn't mean we don't have deep logic, just as it doesn't mean they don't have deep feels.

What we *do* have, is pure emotion (and what we *don't* have is pure--simple--logic). Just as what they have is pure thinking and what they don't have is pure--simple--emotion.
 

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I don't know if this is related to the fact that I am an INTP but I thought maybe someone can discuss this with me?

In real life I feel incapable of having feelings or detached from my own feelings, and when I do, I feel anxious and empty, almost like my feelings are repressed within me, which is much similar to a symptom of narcissistic or borderline personality disorders. However I am not entirely incapable of feeling, I find myself having strong emotional responses to arts and especially music. For example, I've never loved a person in real life but I truly truly feel love when I listen to "Liberation" by Pet Shop Boys, and I hear nostalgia in many supposedly happy songs and it feels so good to be able to feel. Crying to me is cathartic and enjoyable, much better than what I normally experience every day.

So I guess my question is, why do you think I have little emotional response to real life experience and how do I deal with the lack of emotions which I find very problematic and painful?
Befriend a ENFP like me.
Fe fe fe all over
Some may run over u
 
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