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So I'm not sure if this applies to all INFJs, but I'm sure most.
Depending on who I'm talking to, I can be a completely different person.
This goes much further than just being more crazy around friends and more respectable around grandparents.
To who I talk to, my voice can be very different, not just the tone, but my voice, the thoughts that go through my head can be extremely different, and so much more...

After being with some people, I think a few minutes later, "Was that really me?"

I completely change to a different person uncontrollably just talking to every day people.

Who can relate?
 

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*raises hand*
Did that a lot until I found out more about who I really am.

I still do it, only with the huge difference, that I stay honest to myself. I tried being the real me for a while, but realized people are just not able to "handle" the true me...
So I just create different "masks" I put on when talking to people.

(That sounds more radical than it actually is, hehe)


Oh btw: I think this is a "symptom" of our Fe...
 

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I can act very differently around different people and in different situations. I don't like to think I ever act "false" -- it's just different people will understand different aspects of myself. Also I want to make people feel comfortable around me.
 

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I most definitely can, I've lived most of my life as other people, for me I did it so I could fit in and seem like the people I enjoyed hanging out with. I had hung out with many groups growing up, Ravers, Bohemians, Metal heads, Goths, Punks, Military people...and in order for it to have worked I had to create a persona to fit in. I loved being someone else back then, I hated myself and my weaknesses so it become more fun to just adopt a persona and have fun with it. With my parents Im more like a professional at work, I act more organized, less spaced out and more practical, with Goths I bring out the dark side of myself, the more real side of me that loves all things sad, deeply emotional and macabre.

Reflecting on it, I know exactly why I did it, and still do it today....because I have a dark side of me that only I can truly enjoy and know. Depending on the group, they may or may not accept or understand that side of me and I'm ok with that. Its a way of blending in and becoming apart of the world, without having to change who you are deep inside but instead show them what you want them to see. If I feel they can handle the real me then that is what they will see.

Its easily the only thing I truly feel I've mastered....hiding in plain sight.
 

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I know what you mean,
I kind of have to be different with different people cause everytime I act like me people just don't understand.
The only people that really know me is my close family members and very close friends.
It's really weird when I meet someone and we become really close friends. They always say it's like meeting a different person, I guess cause everyday I show them a little bit of my real self.
 

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Great question, I realized I did this at a very early age, like 10. I never wanted to mix friends, I hated the idea of mixing friends. The other way, of being mixed in, I didn't like a lot either. Probably hurt my ability to make new connections. No surprise there.
 

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I can relate. I do this because being a social chameleon is a valued skill which I worked at for a long time, but it also comes naturally to a certain degree.

When I was in grade four or five and getting picked on at school, I talked to my uncle, a master salesman, who gave me this advice (more-or-less): "If you are talking to a janitor, talk as if you are a janitor, and if you are talking to an artist, talk as if you were an artist. Always try to make it easy for people to relate to you, and even though you may be different, don't flaunt those differences because it makes others feel awkward. That's why they pick on you."

On the other hand, just because i try to do this, doesn't mean I'm good at it. I suppose I can be, but the truth is that sometimes I prefer to flaunt my uniqueness rather than be liked by everyone. In some situations it really helps, as for instance in business, and in my case, family (all SJs), but when I'm around friends, or people I'd like to be friends with, I try to be as real as possible. Even then, my communication style varies big-time depending on my mood.
 

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Oh, believe me, it's not just you INFJ's. I think a lot of people change their humor/attitude/language depending on who they're with. I mean, think about it, you wouldn't talk the same to your math professor as you would to your close friends. Chances are you'll be more formal and polite to the teacher while you're very casual and playful with close friends.
 

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I definately relate.

This is NiFe at it's best. We can adapt our behaviour to match other people's. We analyze and determine the best way each person can understand what we mean. We then change our own demeanor so our end of the communication process is best suited for theirs.

This results in that phenomenon known as "INFJs always get what I mean"! Also, we can see things through other people's eyes and enjoy their perspective of whatever besides our own.

=)
 

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Oh, believe me, it's not just you INFJ's. I think a lot of people change their humor/attitude/language depending on who they're with. I mean, think about it, you wouldn't talk the same to your math professor as you would to your close friends. Chances are you'll be more formal and polite to the teacher while you're very casual and playful with close friends.
I agree but I'd like to point out that it's a different process. INFJs and ISFPs have a way of getting to the same conclusions (or acting alike) through different paths. You guys identify a social stigma (treat others accoring to social rank or whatever) and perceive that as something you should do. We, as I posted above, do something completely different - although in the end we have similar results.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Oh, believe me, it's not just you INFJ's. I think a lot of people change their humor/attitude/language depending on who they're with. I mean, think about it, you wouldn't talk the same to your math professor as you would to your close friends. Chances are you'll be more formal and polite to the teacher while you're very casual and playful with close friends.
I think you missed part of what I was saying hun
(My example was acting respectful around your parents and more crazy around your friends)
I'm aware that my example and your example applies to all types

As I said, it goes beyond that
 

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I can relate as well. And it even resulted in not passing an assessment...haha...still talking about it... :crazy: One reason I didn't pass was because I didn't make a competent impression. But that was because I was around tutors/assessors (not because I think i'm inferior or something). And I'm totally different towards them than I am towards clients/patients. And I can't to turn it off somehow. :mellow:

And I do it all the time...yeah, I also feel that being myself (whatever that is :wink: ) wouldn't be accepted by others. But I don't know if I've tried. Or probably I'm myself too often and that's why I'm having problems...uh...dunno...either or neither might be true. :crazy:
 

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I can relate to this is well.

Oh, believe me, it's not just you INFJ's. I think a lot of people change their humor/attitude/language depending on who they're with. I mean, think about it, you wouldn't talk the same to your math professor as you would to your close friends. Chances are you'll be more formal and polite to the teacher while you're very casual and playful with close friends.
This is true as well because at my job I see my co-workers acting so differently with other people than if they were talking to me.
 

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Yes I definitely do this. It can be a little weird when the two people I'm completely different around are both hanging out with me! I think I just intuitively pick up on the vibes of someone and just match them. I bet if I could see auras, I would see my aura moving to match the person I'm talking to.
 

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Applies to me as well. For me, I act differently around different people because that's what makes them comfortable. Some people see it as being disingenuous, but I don't feel like I'm being different, so much as it is that I change the way I convey my thoughts. I just express them in different manners when I'm with different people to be more easily understood.
 

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I don't think of myself as having different personas or masks, rather that I have many many layers, and I only peel back so many depending on who I am with. That way I am not being false, but merely choosing who I trust enough allow to know me on a deeper level. Plus, certain people bring out certain qualities in me that others simply cannot unlock. There is nothing fake about it, and I am learning to incorporate my different facets into one, true "me" that I feel comfortable sharing with people more readily :)
 

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I do this, too. I do it less now that I'm older, but it actually caused me confusion at times when I was younger. I think this is natural to most people, INFJ or not, to some degree. Different people bring out different things in me, and that's ok. I just try to spend more time with the people who bring out what I like in myself, and less with people who bring out things I dislike about myself.
 
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