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Why do INTJs go into hiding? What are you doing? What makes you come back out?

Do you know if anyone has come up with a gadget that detects hidden INTJs?

hey @pinkrasputin - I go into hiding when I have had too much socialization/interaction with the real world. The closest thing to what I am doing is letting myself rest so that my unconscious can have some time to itself. what makes me come back out is an ENFP like yourself asking me if I would like to play with a ball of thread. You ENFP's are the best at making me come back out with that lovely play.

yup, the gadget is called an ENFP and it generally finds an INTJ hiding behind a stiff mask.
 

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Discussion Starter #242
Lol. I love the INTJ/ENFP secure attachment combo and ease of intellectual conversation. Anyone who has not felt this symbiosis yet, is seriously missing our. This is not just about romantic attachment but about SECURITY. We feel SAFE with each other.
 
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Discussion Starter #243
“3. This is how to separate fake from real friends”

I love that you also crave authenticity in others. Even though ENFPs appear to be extroverted, getting along with everyone, and connected to many, we feel so lonely not finding a connection with anyone. INTJ’s often provide us with the intimate connection we crave.
 

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Sounds nice, but for some, we can’t miss what we’ve never had. It might be correct about the safety thing, but how is an independent person going to be convinced that they need to rely on others for this, when independence is a core ‘strength’? I doubt romanticised notions alone can do that, being so cynical, we’d have to experience it ourselves to have such an epiphany. Without that, it’s a catch 22 situation. Maybe that’s tragic, perhaps some of us will never know.
 

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Sounds nice, but for some, we can’t miss what we’ve never had. It might be correct about the safety thing, but how is an independent person going to be convinced that they need to rely on others for this, when independence is a core ‘strength’? I doubt romanticised notions alone can do that, being so cynical, we’d have to experience it ourselves to have such an epiphany. Without that, it’s a catch 22 situation. Maybe that’s tragic, perhaps some of us will never know.
My partner is INFP. We both highly value independence. We leave the door open to question whether or not we still choose each other, and so there is no need to worry about where the other stands. Security isn’t a topic of discussion because it is not the goal. The chief concern for the vitality of the relationship is that we never end up in a situation where we inhibit the other, we want to see each other thrive. By some miracle, or maybe by definition of love, our paths have continued to intertwine for ten years - a bond built on our shared aspirations and admiration for one another’s way of being in the world.

Relationships can work in all different ways - there is no ideal that works for every single person. This is just one way to be. It does feel an awful lot like serendipity, though.
 

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They go into hiding because they accidentally get hurt and need time to heal. That’s both literal and an analogy.
:frustrating:
 

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Security isn’t a topic of discussion because it is not the goal.
... and this, my friends, is why I know unequivocally that I'm an SJ. If you can't or won't be bothered to invest enough into a relationship to provide for my tangible and intangible needs, then for that reason I'm out. #SharkTank <-- STJ humour
 

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When you are around we play hide and seek. I hate interacting with others unless it is for professional reasons.
 

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We don't go into hiding, we just switch to the night shift...


There may be some falling off the edge of the world, ok and hiding too.


You can't fix your car by driving it down the road, you put it in the garage, take it apart, find out you need a $2.97 gasket, but the first two parts shops didn't have it, the third sold you the wrong one for twice the price and won't take it back now that you've opened it to find it didn't fit and your really close friend is willing to drive you 3 hours to get the right part in a different state as long as you pay for gas and explain it to his wife why he wasn't home all day and missed the kid's first throw up. But then your cars fixed and you go cruisin on a friday night never actually stopping anywhere to talk to anyone so you feel lonely because it isn't the drivin its the parking that makes a difference. See, that nutty --it makes perfect sense at 3am.
 

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Why do INTJs go into hiding?
Disappointment with humanity. Every time we run up against human stupidity, we do our best to combat it, but when we fail, we withdraw into our hidey holes with our books written by smart people.

What are you doing?
Reading, mostly. Mourning our lack of sufficient power to counteract human stupidity.

What makes you come back out?
The need to eat. The need for human contact, no matter how fraught with danger that is.

Do you know if anyone has come up with a gadget that detects hidden INTJs?

Not that I'm aware of, but there are a lot of clues you can use. The death glare/resting bitch face; the look of intense concentration, even if it's just picking up a gallon of milk; books and computers as basic equipment. Also knowing where to look helps... classrooms, libraries, and bookstores (new and second-hand) are much more likely settings than parties, clubs, or carnivals. If you want to find an INTJ at the store, your best bet is to go when it's NOT crowded with people, so an hour before closing for stores that close, 2-3 a.m. for the 24 hour Walmart.

You didn't ask, but how to engage an INTJ in conversation that is likely to generate a positive response rather than a quick, dismissive reply: "Hi, you look like you're pretty smart, could you explain the photon theory of light to me? Like, I don't get it, how can light be both a wave and a particle?" You'll be tapping into two of the INTJ's primary loves, teaching and talking about something more important than the weather. You'll also filter out most of the non-INTJ's with that question, as you'll get something like, "Oh, I don't understand that, either." If you've found an INTJ, you'll get a 30 minute lecture plus an offer to go get coffee, and if s/he doesn't offer, you should, as s/he will be likely to accept. Best way to keep the INTJ's interest is to interject with things like, "Ohhhh," and, "I seeeee," and, "Gosh, you're so smart!" Don't call yourself dumb, we don't like dumb people, but comparing yourself unfavorably to us will work wonders, like saying, "I wish I was as smart as you!" That flatters our ego and implies that you have at least some smarts, so we can talk to you.

Looking at it in print now, I wonder if that only applies to male INTJ's. Female INTJ's, what say you? Would the above approach work on you?
 
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Would the above approach work on you?
nothing about it would 'work' on me. and of course we'll never know this, but i somehow don't think that would change if i happened to have been born a man instead.
 

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nothing about it would 'work' on me. and of course we'll never know this, but i somehow don't think that would change if i happened to have been born a man instead.
^ Not an INTJ and also agree with this. I could honestly have a conversation about the weather, but then I'm also prone to falling down the rabbit hole and discussing trends and historical records, etc., etc.
 

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You didn't ask, but how to engage an INTJ in conversation that is likely to generate a positive response rather than a quick, dismissive reply: "Hi, you look like you're pretty smart, could you explain the photon theory of light to me? Like, I don't get it, how can light be both a wave and a particle?" You'll be tapping into two of the INTJ's primary loves, teaching and talking about something more important than the weather. You'll also filter out most of the non-INTJ's with that question, as you'll get something like, "Oh, I don't understand that, either." If you've found an INTJ, you'll get a 30 minute lecture plus an offer to go get coffee, and if s/he doesn't offer, you should, as s/he will be likely to accept. Best way to keep the INTJ's interest is to interject with things like, "Ohhhh," and, "I seeeee," and, "Gosh, you're so smart!" Don't call yourself dumb, we don't like dumb people, but comparing yourself unfavorably to us will work wonders, like saying, "I wish I was as smart as you!" That flatters our ego and implies that you have at least some smarts, so we can talk to you.

Looking at it in print now, I wonder if that only applies to male INTJ's. Female INTJ's, what say you? Would the above approach work on you?
Hahaha. I mean, taken as hyperbole, yes. Essentially it is noticing someone for their thoughts/observations/knowledge rather than, say, their appearance or experiences (which is a more common tactic to promote camaraderie, especially among Sensors).

Working in a customer service job, my favorite customers are the ones that immediately dive into some esoteric subject rather than talking about who does their nails, the weather, the latest sport game, etc. I had one gentleman talk at length about the history of the Holy Roman Empire, for instance. Another customer enjoys discussions about how we would handle a nuclear fallout, another tells me all about the history of the gold standard and his plan for investing in cryptocurrency. So, not only people that ask questions about a more involved subject or method, but can relay their own knowledge with that same or greater level of depth and enthusiasm.
 

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It is not in this poster's behavioral set to speak for others.

This INTJ recedes into darkened rooms and alcoves as respite from the incessant primate "need" for recognition, acknowledgement and pointless, typically contrived, trite, insufferable, insipid prattle.

This INTJ is not given to conversing on matters for which primates, forever steeped and stewing in their cognitive biases and cumulative heuristic prejudices, willingly, knowingly, purposefully deny and/or disavow effective resolution(s) that would carry the species forward.

The ability to disengage from the cacophonous and inundating noise of ceaseless primate activity is an exigency of this INTJ's ability to cognitively process, filter, arrange and set proper the mind palace ... that is the all and everything to this INTJ. Reading and creative resolution inspection exceed most physiological needs. Not aside, this INTJ continually questions itself and its knowledge base; which is eternally insufficient and ever a contentious point of internal interrogation and pervasive annoyance.

It really isn't acceptable that there are things not known and possibly unknowable - which is bollocks.

Quietude is like the best vino.
 

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It is not in this poster's behavioral set to speak for others.

This INTJ recedes into darkened rooms and alcoves as respite from the incessant primate "need" for recognition, acknowledgement and pointless, typically contrived, trite, insufferable, insipid prattle.

This INTJ is not given to conversing on matters for which primates, forever steeped and stewing in their cognitive biases and cumulative heuristic prejudices, willingly, knowingly, purposefully deny and/or disavow effective resolution(s) that would carry the species forward.

The ability to disengage from the cacophonous and inundating noise of ceaseless primate activity is an exigency of this INTJ's ability to cognitively process, filter, arrange and set proper the mind palace ... that is the all and everything to this INTJ. Reading and creative resolution inspection exceed most physiological needs. Not aside, this INTJ continually questions itself and its knowledge base; which is eternally insufficient and ever a contentious point of internal interrogation and pervasive annoyance.

It really isn't acceptable that there are things not known and possibly unknowable - which is bollocks.

Quietude is like the best vino.
 
 

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Discussion Starter #258
I'm unaware that I go into hiding because being private is my natural state.
So true for most of us. We don’t understand how our outside behavior is perceived by others.
 
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Yeah!




<<<<<---------------take it frum a koon!

Its called "Social Distancing". something we INTJ's have been born with and have been trying to live by forever. Nothing new to me. I can't wait when these fuking Extroverts start losing their fuking minds cause they can't socialize and then they'll begin to understand what the fuck they've been forcing on us introverts for like EVER! Making us sit in classrooms, meetings, be on "teams" on & on & on.

Fukers will be talking with themselves endlessly looking into a bathroom mirror. Where's poochy? Here kitty kitty, looking for their stuffed animal or "Wilson".
Fuk all of them - maybe there is a god.
 
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