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Why Do INTJs Go Into Hiding?

[INTJ] 
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56K views 264 replies 96 participants last post by  sweetINTJ 
#1 ·
Why do INTJs go into hiding? What are you doing? What makes you come back out?

Do you know if anyone has come up with a gadget that detects hidden INTJs?

 
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#2 ·
This tarot card explains why 'hiding' is so good. :)

Hermit Tarot Card Meanings

______

The Hermit

Keywords:

  • Wisdom
  • Humility
  • Solitude
  • Searching
  • Detachment
  • Deliberate
  • Observation

Meaning:

In our fast-paced, harried world of today, we would all do well to do as the hermit does. The Hermit's stride is slow but sure. He takes each step with a deliberate, conscious approach - knowing that each step of the journey is a small imprint upon the larger picture of his path. He does everything in this manner - each breath he takes, each word he speaks, every decision he makes is a deliberate act.

This is one prime source of the Hermit's wisdom. In recognizing that each of our thoughts and actions is a brick we use to build our lives, we partake in the creation of our own reality. The Hermit has had to learn this lesson by means of distancing himself from the regular, routine world. By removing himself from the "normal" stream of societal thought, the Hermit is able to listen to the inner stirrings of his own intuition and act upon it.

In much the same way, by turning off our telephones, switching off our televisions, and removing ourselves from the barrage of external chatter - we are able to finally hear the small voice from within that leads us to higher ground.

The Hermit walks a fine line. By purposefully choosing to remove himself from society he also runs the risk of being misunderstood and labeled inappropriate. These labels do not concern him as his path of spiritual knowing and higher wisdom are his prime concerns.

The path of the Hermit is certainly not for everyone, but we all have parts of ourselves that need a little quiet time at the least. When the Hermit shows up in a reading it often refers to a need to be still, contemplate, meditate, observe what is going on before any further action is taken.


_____

I agree with all of this for my own experiences~
It speaks for me, 100%.
 
#10 ·
Wow. So far these have all been very insightful responses. Thank you. I really wish I would have asked this ages ago. Your answers really help me to not project my own reasons for why your type has this behavior. I now can see that my motivations for "hiding" are very different from yours. I find that understanding very important for communication.

Okay, I am going to stand back and "listen" some more.
 
#37 ·
Wow. So far these have all been very insightful responses. Thank you. I really wish I would have asked this ages ago. Your answers really help me to not project my own reasons for why your type has this behavior. I now can see that my motivations for "hiding" are very different from yours. I find that understanding very important for communication.

Okay, I am going to stand back and "listen" some more.

hiding, stems back from when i was little, when i was younger whenver i got scared i used to run upto my bedroom shut the door, find a chair then put it under the door handle so no one could get in. and whenver something happens to me know i feel the same i wish i could run to a safe place where i feel secure, no one can hurt me and i can feel safe. But its not always a negative thing i enjoy being in hiding and spending time alone and having space to think and relax so its not really and quality i have a problem with lol.
 
#12 ·
I have a tendency to frighten people because they don't hear me coming. Or when I'm waiting for the washroom and they open the door and "suddenly" I'm outside it. Or I can be lying on the couch for an hour, and then suddenly my mum, who was just on the other side of it for the same hour, in the dining room, will walk by and shriek, because she "didn't know I was there." It isn't deliberate. I'm just standing, or sitting, or reading. Quietly. Not calling unnecessary attention to myself. Sometimes I'm reading in a cafe, a book on serial killers, - in which case people mysteriously avoid looking at me. :) And when I'm staying home alone, that's not so much hiding, as normally living life. It's when I suddenly turn into a party animal that you need to wonder what the hell is going on. Because that' s not normal.
 
#14 ·
I dont consider it hiding, I consider it engaging in favored priorities...or even pleasures.

Just as other enjoy crowds and bars and parties and all the other social events....personally, it is not high on my enjoyment meter.

It is all perspective. You have to shift your mind into the mind of a person who does not find the average things that draw people to them out 'fun' or enjoyable...

It is like backwards logic.....if you can truly move your mind to understand that the things I enjoy I engage in....and the things I choose not to engage in often if at all....are because personally I do not find pleasure in them...you may begin to truly grasp the concept...which will give you an overall idea as to why.

As some are energized by interaction....others re-energize in solitude.
 
#15 ·
I do physically hide every once in a while (today being a prime example). And yes, it usually means I don't want to be found. It's just an introvert thing. Sometimes I hide because there's something I want to ponder. Sometimes I just need to stare blankly at a wall to re-energize. If someone were to invent an INTJ tracker *shudder* how would I ever be left alone??? :mellow:
 
#16 ·
When I intentionally hide it's because I am in no mood to attempt to please others based upon their perceptions of me, which would require me to care what they are thinking, which is not in my interests at that time (I have more important things to think about/do). I have most often intentionally hid from guests who visit my parents (I don't know them and am not sure I would care to know them) or from people who like me who I don't like. If I am curious enough and feel comfortable, I won't intentionally hide. I don't hide from people who I like, nor do I hide from people who I don't like as a rule- but I will hide from people I dislike who also dislike me if our encounter would involve non-productive conflict, exclusively, or for example my unwillingness to act in a certain manner could make the other person or people around me uncomfortable. In that respect, I feel I'm doing both them and myself a courtesy by remaining hidden.

How does one know I am intentionally hiding? I tip-toe around quietly or silently, usually at opportunistic moments based upon the habits and the schedules of others- remaining unseen in the same building/room as you (not just as a matter of not wanting to draw attention to myself but as a matter of finding a place where I'm pretty sure I won't be found/bothered by other people's expectations of me). I intentionally hide in public places when my attendance has been forced due to social obligation which I am not comfortable with, not something I've subjected myself to out of my own desire but because it served some other purpose which is not necessarily publicly known. I would often hide in church, for example, or leave the building completely to entertain myself outside (there was a playground with a swing set and a baseball field which were easily accessible).

As a teenager, I became quite good at hiding, literally, in certain nooks and crannies of my high school. My heart would drop when someone would find me to then approach me- my immediate thoughts being: "God dammit! Leave me alone, asshole! Does it LOOK like I want to talk to you? No... It doesn't... You must be an extrovert with seemingly good intentions who doesn't understand my needs at all. Just go away..." I've done this same thing when at work, especially retail- I can only take so much base and philosophically non-fulfilling human contact before I have to repress mental urges to kill people and must get away to re-center myself.

Even my first job, as a retail photographer, allowed me a private working space between shoots to recover where I could hide- not from my boss but from random strangers. When I'm constantly socially exposed I quickly become tired and irritable- so long as I have a place to recover, I will remain in good spirits, be better able to fulfill my duties and then feel comfortable to again venture out when I must.

I felt much less of a need to hide when I was working as a parking valet (hospitality), however, due to the fact that the job involved periods of alone time where direct supervision of me was not necessary. Not only that, but I got to work in a large garage which had been excavated below an office building, lending it that feeling of being hidden away, private and infrequently trespassed upon. Everyone who went in and out of that place I knew a vast amount of personal details about; they were not random people- anyone who entered had acquired the privilege to be there, and I had a friendly relationship with all of them, even those who I did not particularly like (the 2 who flirted with me, yech). Being in that "cave" surrounded by people who I felt happy to work for and with made leaving at the end of my shift all the more pleasant because I would literally ascend back into the sunlight and be able to appreciate the change.

Of course, then I would go "hide" out in the open at a public park for an hour or so because I didn't want to be stuck in the confines of my apartment nor necessarily interact with my roommates (an older brother and his best friend). My intent was not to intentionally avoid them because of dislike, but because I needed to recover in a neutral space- where nothing was required of me and I could focus on my own fulfillment before placing myself into yet another unpredictable and possibly uncomfortable social environment. In that regard, in an inverted sense of what I've previously said, sometimes random strangers [those who have no expectations of me, often found at parks or other places of public recreation] are more pleasing company than people who I actually know... as is the environment. There are just places which exist that offer peace, harmony, contentment, freedom from focusing on fulfilling the needs of others, which lift that heavy sensation of suffocation that the obligatory avenues of social exposure can at times impose on me.

If/when I am in a comfortable environment, I feel no need to hide.

P.S.
My impulsive desire to hide has often frustrated and/or panicked my ENFP mother, especially during my childhood- despite the fact that I would always show myself when it was time to return home (meet my parents at the car or at the place I knew they could be found at a specific time, etc.).
 
#17 ·
Why do INTJs go into hiding? What are you doing? What makes you come back out?

Do you know if anyone has come up with a gadget that detects hidden INTJs?

for me, and im guessing most other INTJs, we go into hiding for absolute comfort and/or privacy. sometimes, i get extremely overwhelmed when im around ppl for too long. it honestly puts a physical strain on my body. my head starts to feel heavy, i get tired, i start to feel paranoid (to some extent)and i sort of feel claustrophobic.

i go into hiding a lot. people who do not know me wonder why i do this. since introverts are supposably the minority in the world, that means that introverts are usually surrounded by extroverts (when not around family..since personality is typically similar with/in families ((and please, lets not start another argument about origin of personalities.))

once i am able to, i find somewhere i know i can be in absolute solitude (even if it just for a few minutes). its a way for INTJs to collect their thoughts, and to regain energy. we simply get drained from too much social interaction.

i love my alone time. while extroverts typically do not understand this at all, INTJs value alone time as if it is essential like food, water, and shelter.
 
#21 · (Edited)
We're not hiding; we're just naturally drawn to places where extroverts don't go - like libraries.
Okay, maybe we are hiding - sometimes. It's just that society is so loud and annoying and expects us to act emotional.
 
#22 ·
We're not hiding; we're just naturally drawn to places where extroverts don't go - like libraries.
Okay, maybe we are hiding - sometime. It's just that society is so loud and annoying and expects us to act emotional.
Lol.

However, if I could live in a library I would. That is interesting what I've read in the past couple of posts. Sweet Surrender and Mdawn have brought up a few reasons for "hiding" that I can completely relate to. So clearly there is a spectrum when it comes to introverting.

I am a very private person. I almost feel violated when someone appears in my space out of no where or all of a sudden. I often feel like I need to be alone where it's safe to be away from other people's expectations of me. And when I get my precious alone time, I feel selfish. Like I'm "stealing" it. This may be different between us? Maybe INTJs don't have this idea that they are "stealing" their alone time or being selfish? But it's rare for me at times. Matter of fact, I think that is why I started running long distance in the first place. It gave me a built in excuse to say "sorry I can't. I gotta run". I just like being in my head and don't have too many excuses to do that, especially when loved ones are around. I also feel like my private place is when I get to "recharge" from the world.

When I am home visiting extended family, I am extremely introverted (I know, would you believe it? ) I like to say that I have to go "run" . And when they look at me funny because it's Christmas or Thanksgiving, I can say "I HAVE to go run. I am in training for a marathon." And then usually mom will calm down a little. But like I say, there must be a "spectrum" when it comes to the frequency of introverting when it comes to type. INTJs probably need it way more frequently and for longer periods I'm guessing?

Although I can introvert, I can also see the differences in the catalyst for energy between me and INTJs. Once I am "out there" amongst people, all of a sudden I can keep going even if I didn't want to originally. That knowledge that I can "be okay" and have a "good time" once I'm out there, works to light a fire underneath my feet for the next time. This could also be because it is still a "high" for me making a mental connection with another.

So just like I feel like I need to "recharge my batteries" because I am overwhelmed by people and need to introvert for a time, when do INTJs feel like they "have" to go out there and interact with others? Is it when you feel like you want to pursue a relationship? Do you get to a point of being lonely and then say to yourself, "Okay, I'm over the introversion thing for now. Time to go make connections with others." ?
 
#25 ·
I don't usually intentionally hide but I have been known to just disappear for weeks, months out of peoples lives. There are peoples lives I simply disappear from completely (and it is planned). I typically shut down all modes of communication. Sometimes I wish I had a moat and similar defences around the house because if all other communication fails then a visit is inevitable for some.

If I don't get that alone time as an intrinsic base for my daily life (I usually get 100% or close on the introversion scale) I start to mentally and physically disintegrate. It sometimes takes months to get myself back. I am simply no good for anything, I make rash decisions, become less organised and lose the entire game plan. The thing is....this is one of those periods where I am actually hiding and yet you can find me on the net talking to other INTJs and lovers of INTJs (so glad of your existence PR). I guess it's all about finding an internal perspective and balance. It's during these times I go over the game plan and find other options to go forward.

The idea of an INTJ tracker scares the absolute crap out of me:shocked:
 
#27 ·
I am an INTJ, and I am as puzzled as you. People are always asking me where I've disappeared to, or where I'm hiding. It's as if they think I'm a phantom who can vanish and reappear at will. What I find even more puzzling is that when people believe I've 'disappeared', I've usually just been in the room next door or sitting quietly in a corner all along. If one were to walk into the room or towards the corner, I would be easily seen. I really don't have a cloak of invisibility. So why do people think I have pulled a vanishing act? I honestly don't know. I have a working theory that it's because, if people look busy or distracted, I'll just walk by and leave them alone without speaking. In their eyes it may seem as if I've disappeared from their life, but they just didn't notice me pass them.

What gadget detects hidden INTJs? Your eyes. :tongue: But seriously, you can easily detect INTJs if you learn to think like one. We're introverted-- that means we have to expend energy when we interact with the world, so having to relate to our environment exhausts us. As such, we frequently retreat to a quiet place. Since we're masterminds, we like to go to quiet places where we can think. It doesn't have to be the dark and secretive batcave, or some hidden isolated mountain reserved for hermits who know The Handshake. It may be a public place, so long as its a place where the public is quiet and/or does not demand we interact with them. For this reason, I like to 'hide' in the library-- or if I'm feeling energetic, I head to a coffee shop where I can sit in a back booth.
 
#32 ·
The only time I go into hiding is when I want to be alone. Sometimes I have an idea about something and I want to research about it/think about it/write it down/test it out. If I want to read, I shut myself in my room for hours.
There are a few people who I can spend the whole day with, and I'll be fine. Then there's others that tire me out so much that even an hour or two makes me cranky and I'll start to plan my escape.
 
#34 ·
I hide in plain sight when im in a good frame of mind. Usually it is because i have become so focused on some task that the rest of the world disappears for awhile. This hasn't happened to me lately but i do expect it will occur again.

I hide out of sight when there is something i don't like about myself and i want to fix it. I hate when someone comes up to me and says, o how great that your doing whatever. Basically the same reason i dislike trainers at the gym.
 
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