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emotion is normal in certain situation, But i think for me, Dunno if its for other INTP's, instead of being cynical and quite dark humoured, if i used emotion more, i would just end up being suicidal. sooo much shit goes on that you can either try your whole life caring about everything, or care about almost nothing. and i choose to easy option, almost nothing.
 

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I have no problem showing emotion if and when I'm actually feeling emotion (or aware that I'm feeling it). But, there are other times when I think it's best to let logic win the inner debate. For instance, this last week, I had a colleague at work say some pretty rude things. Her customer service was absolutely horrible and unprofessional. This is like the 5th time it's happened with me and I know others who are disturbed/angered by her. So, I went back to my building and continued working, not thinking much about it. Then she e-mailed me to "reinforce" her rudeness - she wanted me to know that she felt her behavior was warranted. She was sort of ranting and rambling in her e-mail and seemed to be implying that she "has the power". I was pretty ticked off. Angry. I could feel the emotion welling up in me and I thought about sending off an e-mail or walking back to her office to unleash some fury on her, but I just collected myself, thought about the big picture, and chose to diffuse the situation, keep working, keep being content. No need to get upset - I have work to do.

A lot of times emotions can lead to overblown drama, lashing out, and a lot of times bridges can be burned and things can be said that people regret deeply. It all seems very demonstrative *at times*, especially when it's not refined or "mature" emotion. I recognize my own emotional intelligence as "still maturing", so I know I have to guard against this. I have to be smart about it. I believe I have made some of the absolute worst decisions of my life when I have acted out of emotion. Some things that I regret even today - I look back and I realize that I didn't take the time to run the decision through my "thinker". So, once you make some of these mistakes, you learn to always run things through your thinker. And yes, I realize that good decisions can be made from emotion and bad decisions can be made from "pure logic". I just recognize the distinction within myself and I know that when I've made decisions in moments of "emotional highs" and "emotional lows", they've tended to be strange and less than optimal decisions, in hindsight.

Other emotions, like deep sadness or total jubilation, etc, I don't mind showing those. But, it's actually rare for me to experience these extreme highs and extreme lows. I think NT's tend to be fairly even keel with their emotions. It also helps with efficiency. If I'm in a meeting at work, that's not really the right atmosphere to bring my emotions and air out my personal issues. Nobody in that meeting gives a lick if anyone is sad or whatever (as sad as that sounds). It's a business meeting - we're there to discuss work and business. If I want to discuss my sadness, I should seek out a friend, call family, or go have dinner with a co-worker after work is over.

I recognize emotions as an important part of who I am (and all people), but I like to manage my own emotions to a certain extent. There's a time and a place for them.
 

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It makes me feel vulnerable sometimes, I guess. I don't really have as much of a problem with it as I did in the past though. I have come to recognize it as a normal human thing to do.
 

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Because my feelings are not something just anyone can witness. Emotions I can show to people I trust, won't show them at any given moment, cause it's dangerous and can cause a lot of trouble. I think dealing with your emotions when you are alone feels much better, and is something you won't regret. However, stating emotions in a not very emotional manner is okay I guess.
In short, my feelings are too precious to share with just anyone.
 

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It really depends on the NT. Try not to read so many generalizations about NT around the forum, it will give you a flawed perception of NT and emotions. The NT in my reality aren't over the top emotionally, although they show emotion just like the rest of us. So no, not all NT hate emotions, some actually like it and are more emotional than me, yeah can you believe that, more emotional than a feeler, true story.
 

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Because my feelings are not something just anyone can witness. Emotions I can show to people I trust, won't show them at any given moment, cause its dangerous and can cause a lot of trouble. I think dealing with your emotions when you are alone is feels much better, and is something you won't regret. However, stating emotions in a not very emotional manner is okay I guess.
I suppose this is part of my nature. It's likely due to the fact that I feel that anyone I do not know is less of importance to me therefore the lack of emotional response. Whereas those I know are part of my life.
 

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I show emotion. When I am happy I will smile and appear happy. When I am sad I will appear sad. But I don't get sad often. When I am mad there is a 100 metre radius no one must enter.

It's more of a 'you can't sway my emotions' rather than 'we don't show emotions'.
 
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Because it's WEAK!

Kidding. In all seriousness, it is uncomfortable. Most of the time an emotion isn't anything that needs to be shared, so it isn't. When it does need to be shared, I will.
 

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Then people talk to me about it. Conversations like that usually go like this:

Person: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Me: I'm fine.
Person: You're clearly not fine.
Me: Why did you ask if I'm okay if you weren't going to believe my answer?
Person: Want to talk about it?
Me: No. I want to be left alone.
Person: People say I'm a great listener.
Me: Well, you're not listening to me.
Person: Apparently I give good advice too, if you do want to talk about it.
Me: Look, I don't want to talk about it now. I just want to be alone. You're obviously not getting that, so I'll spell it out for you. Fuck off!
Person: [Offended] I was just trying to be helpful. [Walks off.]
Me: [Thinks] Great, now I look like the bad guy.

I like time to sort through the cause of my emotions. Whether it's justified or irrational. How to get rid of it. The cause of action to be taken. If it entailed an outburst at somebody, I need to decide if I should apologise for said outburst or if I believe I was in the right. I need to go to my mind palace in order to think everything through.

I'm not absolutely stoic though. I show my feelings too much, if anything. If I'm sad, I act sad. If I'm stressed, I act stressed. If I'm happy, I act happy. Getting the picture? But it's just more convenient not to show some things.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
It really depends on the NT. Try not to read so many generalizations about NT around the forum, it will give you a flawed perception of NT and emotions. The NT in my reality aren't over the top emotionally, although they show emotion just like the rest of us. So no, not all NT hate emotions, some actually like it and are more emotional than me, yeah can you believe that, more emotional than a feeler, true story.
That didn't come from reading, it came from personal observations. Most NTs I've met have been this way.
 

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An NT friend told me I'm very easy to read - if I'm happy I look happy, if I'm angry, I look angry etc. I don't mind showing my emotions as long as I don't have to talk about them too much.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
An NT friend told me I'm very easy to read - if I'm happy I look happy, if I'm angry, I look angry etc. I don't mind showing my emotions as long as I don't have to talk about them too much.
Interesting. So in a relationship, when emotional issues do come up, the right way to go about dealing with them is to be as to the point and "undramatic" as possible?

Like, "It bothers me when you put other people down because I was bullied as a child" versus "I hate it when you call people fat and ugly because it brings up all these bad memories from when I was bullied as a kid and it makes me sad all over again."

You just want to know the reason behind the problem and how to solve it without the elaboration, in other words. Yes?
 
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