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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why do we? Im trying to figure it out. Ive been on this whole self-actualization and ego awareness thing lately, and im making progress. I don't really want a long term relationship, and i don't see what the appeal is. Its like all these people always have to have a significant other in their lives at all times. Why?

Is it because we like making somebody "ours"? We like "owning" somebody and having control over them and what the do? I don't want a girlfriend because i havent met a girl who i could be best friends with. And I really wouldn't want to control someone. Limit somebody from being themselves. The main purpose of marriage was making babies, it has changed so much since them...i find it interesting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think you might be looking at this from the wrong angle bud. Actually, being in a good relationship, inspires you to do more. At least in the case with me, it's enjoyable, nice to have someone there for you that you can count on.
Your right, i am looking at this from a more negative angle.

But the question remains as to why it inspires you to do more? Im just curious on how relationships effect people. I havent taken a class about it yet haha, so i dont know. I know its a human need to feel wanted.
 

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some people want a different type of best friend. A different kind of love that can't be given from an animal, family, platonic friends (bffs) and spiritual. The ONLY kind of love that someone who's just like you, have a few differences, but can love you in a way NO ONE else can understand. Not even yourself! While I can't speak for other people, this is the kind of love that I desire.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
some people want a different type of best friend. A different kind of love that can't be given from an animal, family, platonic friends (bffs) and spiritual. The ONLY kind of love that someone who's just like you, have a few differences, but can love you in a way NO ONE else can understand. Not even yourself! While I can't speak for other people, this is the kind of love that I desire.
Interesting. I guess i just haven't come anywhere close to that, which is why im curious.
 

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Your right, i am looking at this from a more negative angle.

But the question remains as to why it inspires you to do more? Im just curious on how relationships effect people. I havent taken a class about it yet haha, so i dont know. I know its a human need to feel wanted.
Haha, want to take a relationship class eh? Sounds interesting. :cool:

Given, for this is for me, but some people might agree with it. And given, this is only for good relationships. I've been in relationships before, where I felt pretty crappy, and it made me want to do less.

That said, I like to make people feel proud and happy. I don't know I like seeing people happy I guess, and it feels good to be happy with them. So it makes me want to keep doing good things lol.
 

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Why do we? Im trying to figure it out. Ive been on this whole self-actualization and ego awareness thing lately, and im making progress. I don't really want a long term relationship, and i don't see what the appeal is. Its like all these people always have to have a significant other in their lives at all times. Why?

Is it because we like making somebody "ours"? We like "owning" somebody and having control over them and what the do? I don't want a girlfriend because i havent met a girl who i could be best friends with. And I really wouldn't want to control someone. Limit somebody from being themselves. The main purpose of marriage was making babies, it has changed so much since them...i find it interesting.
It's largely due to the fact we miss God's love. Our hearts seek that love in this material world, in the form of romantic love. It's a poor substitute, but it's not all bad.

There are other things too like sex drive.
 

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Reasons why we want a relationship

1) Security

2) Affirmation, Validation

3) Love

4) Meaningful connection beyond superficial acquaintances and even beyond friendship which still has limited interaction despite being more meaningful then acquaintances

5) Companionship

6) The value of exclusive committment: which is a sign that of all the people out there you were the one that was picked and not only that but for a life time. The magnitude of such a commitment given the many alternatives available and the amount of time it requires, the fact that there is someone out there that will do this for you makes us feel cherished and appreciated in a way that transcends all other forms of flattery and validation

Disclaimer: the ones who don't want a relationship probably don't see it through this sort of lense, it does not have the same meaning and hence is not sought after as much
 

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I think it's very personal to each individual.
Personally, I want to have a relationship to make someone happy and in return, the have someone make me happy. I want to be able to help/support/care for someone and them for me. As listed above, security seems to be a big factor for alot of people (Most ESFJs I know want relationships either because it's 'normal' or because they don't want to be alone).
 

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Mostly feel good chemical loops induced by positive projections of the self. In the beginning, its like crack addiction. Later on, it could be a number of things from security, validation, stimuli, babies...

As @thor odinson mentioned, those that don't value these aspects tend to ignore the concept all-together. Why get wasted if you don't enjoy the buzz?
 

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Why do we? Im trying to figure it out. Ive been on this whole self-actualization and ego awareness thing lately, and im making progress. I don't really want a long term relationship, and i don't see what the appeal is. Its like all these people always have to have a significant other in their lives at all times. Why?
Because the alternative is unthinkable.
 

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Look for a mirror and tell me who you are?. I discover recently that a big part of who you are depends on your relationships with others. You are a daughter, a son, a father, a mother, a teacher, a lawyer, a waitress. Without having a relationship with someone, you lost a part of your identity. We evolve as social beings, being alone in the past was equal to dead. Our bodies craves social connection and need it for its well-being. Lonely people tend to develop more psychiatric ailments, tend to drink and do more drugs; do less exercise and have more health problems in general.

We all need relationships..they define to a certain degree who we are in life. What we differ is the amount of social interaction we require but been human equals to been social..even if you are an hermit in a remote cottage you will need someone at your side, a dog, crows, even taking care of plants. Without a certain degree of social interaction you will go crazy or maybe kill yourself at some point. People prefer even the company of serial killers than no company at all.

No one can't own anyone. Love is about freedom than anything else. It is seeing and accepting the others as he/she/it truly is not as you want them to be. When we accept, we liberate. People are no more afraid and start expressing who they truly are. There is a part inside each one of us that we most of the time(sadly) only show to those that we love. Usually that's our best part but because of fear of rejection or critique we hide and protect it. Love is what pierce that armor and give us the courage to be who we truly are. Again I am talking here about love, but people confuse it with so many things. Lust and sexual attraction been the principal culprit lol.
 

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I finished most of the solo campaigns that I've found interesting in the game of real life already. Now I would like to unlock those achievements that can be done only via multiplayer... either 2 v AI or 2 v 2... I can't do it alone. =\

a decent partner who can stick through those 'wtf' campaign and mission levels is quite a rare gem to find. I was hoping to not have to worry about starting from scratch in case one decides to leave mid-game or just disconnects and never comes back... cuz you know.. there's no save points to resume from if I, too, don't remain connected to the existing round. All progress will be lost. Must start from the beginning of the round.

However! not all things are bad with that scenario. Depending on circumstances, I may be able to retain SOME experience, armor, achievement unlocks, and loot. So not all is lost. But who am I kidding. I want to do some end-game shit that I keep hearing everyone around me is doing. Sounds fun.

Sadly, traveling around town, no one has a sign up that says 'Looking for Party'. What's an adventurer to do these days? bugger... now to go kill me some work monsters and trade in those work units for gold pieces. Back to gold and level grinding solo until then...
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I finished most of the solo campaigns that I've found interesting in the game of real life already. Now I would like to unlock those achievements that can be done only via multiplayer... either 2 v AI or 2 v 2... I can't do it alone. =\

a decent partner who can stick through those 'wtf' campaign and mission levels is quite a rare gem to find. I was hoping to not have to worry about starting from scratch in case one decides to leave mid-game or just disconnects and never comes back... cuz you know.. there's no save points to resume from if I, too, don't remain connected to the existing round. All progress will be lost. Must start from the beginning of the round.

However! not all things are bad with that scenario. Depending on circumstances, I may be able to retain SOME experience, armor, achievement unlocks, and loot. So not all is lost. But who am I kidding. I want to do some end-game shit that I keep hearing everyone around me is doing. Sounds fun.

Sadly, traveling around town, no one has a sign up that says 'Looking for Party'. What's an adventurer to do these days? bugger... now to go kill me some work monsters and trade in those work units for gold pieces. Back to gold and level grinding solo until then...
Sounds like, you, took an arrow in the knee.
 

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Rather than give you an arbitrary personal opinion I will offer you a religious perspective. The Bible basically conveys that relationship is the purpose of our existence. We were created to have relationship with God, each other, and the rest of His creation. Obviously relationship comes in different forms, such as familial, marital, etc. The ultimate point is that we exist to be in relationship with God and glorify Him, and our earthly relationships are all representative in part of what is to come in eternity. Marriage, for example, is ultimately a design meant to give us a temporal model and perspective of the eternal relationship that Christ will have will all believers (Ephesians 5).

Just to offer a different perspective of the topic.
 
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