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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I have tried to get him to tell me why he does this, and his explanation didn't explain much, so I am asking you. I know it's very silly, but I am curious.

We have two bathrooms in our house. One is downstairs, right next to our bedroom. The other is upstairs, around the corner and down the hall. For the first two years we lived there, he and I rarely used the upstairs bathroom. We hardly ever went upstairs to begin with. But in the last 12 months or so, he has changed his preference. Now, he walks all the way upstairs to go to the bathroom. At first I thought it was because he was going #2 and wanted more privacy. But no, it's every single time. And the upstairs bathroom is dirty as hell. The downstairs one that I use, is clean. We keep it clean because it's the main one and guests would use it. I do not understand why he walks all the way upstairs to use the bathroom, walking right by a perfectly good bathroom on his way up, might add! I'm not exaggerating when I say he'll be SICK, bedridden, weak, etc, and he will trouble himself to get out of bed, walk by the downstairs bathroom, walk all the way upstairs to pee, come all the way back down, past the other bathroom, just to get back in bed! In the middle of the night, he gets up and wanders upstairs in the PITCH BLACK to use the bathroom when he could just use the one right next to our bedroom! Why does he do this????

I asked him why he troubles himself to go all the way up the stairs to use the dirty bathroom and he says it's because it's next to where he keeps his guitar and books, so he can go pee, then stop and play a few notes on the guitar or read a few poems before he goes back downstairs. Makes a little sense, right? But in the middle of the night, he's not going up there to play guitar! I'd say 80% of the time, he's not going up there and playing guitar or doing anything besides using the bathroom. He uses the bathroom and comes right back down, undistracted! We'll be about to leave, I'll have my keys about to walk out the door and he'll say "I have to go to the bathroom, one sec!" and he runs all the way upstairs only to come back down in less than a minute! WHY? Why would you do that?? I am totally baffled.

And I don't want you think I'm mad at him or nagging him about it. I don't care where the hell he does his business, I just am confused and curious what would motivate someone to do that! any insights, oh INTP's? :happy:
 

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Did you yell at him for messing something up in the bathroom he doesn't use? You say the one he is using is messy. Maybe he knows he can use that one with impunity. Makes sense to me. By the way, I use the messy bathroom too.
 

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Maybe he just likes the idea of having his own bathroom. It's not that he doesn't like you or using "your" bathroom, it's just nice to have his own.

Maybe he feels that since it's there someone should use it. Maybe he doesn't want to to "go to waste", ya know?
I think this is probably the reason. Maybe if you're worried about it being dirty you could get him to keep it clean if he's going to use it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Did you yell at him for messing something up in the bathroom he doesn't use? You say the one he is using is messy. Maybe he knows he can use that one with impunity. Makes sense to me. By the way, I use the messy bathroom too.
If I did, I do not remember. I can't imagine scolding him for being messy because I am much more messy than he is.... with exception of his bathroom. oh and his study. .... well maybe we each have the same amount of messiness... Either way, I would feel like a hypocrite if I ever told him he was messy, so I am 99% sure that I never said anything like that.

Yeah, maybe he knows that if he claims it as his own, which he seems to have done, he can do whatever he wants in there and I won't notice... and no, he doesn't keep any porn in there. or anywhere to my knowledge. :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Maybe he just likes the idea of having his own bathroom. It's not that he doesn't like you or using "your" bathroom, it's just nice to have his own.

Maybe he feels that since it's there someone should use it. Maybe he doesn't want to to "go to waste", ya know?
I agree that it's nice to have your "own" bathroom but is it really worth the trouble of clawing your way up the stairs when you're sick, or feeling your way around in the pitch black when you wake up in the middle of the night and need to go? Is it worth walking right by a perfectly good bathroom every time? I would understand it if he did it leisurely or part of the time, but every single time? Sometimes it just seems so inconvenient! He's such a logical person otherwise, I just find this behavior so odd!
 

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Sounds like he's just staked his claim. I pass by a perfectly good bathroom to use the messy one, it just feels more comfortable. You say it's somewhat isolated from the hussle and bussle of the house. I would prefer that myself. And no, it has nothing to do with porn, although I have studied the pattern in the tile and there is this one shape that looks something like a naked babe. :blushed:
 

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I agree that it's nice to have your "own" bathroom but is it really worth the trouble of clawing your way up the stairs when you're sick, or feeling your way around in the pitch black when you wake up in the middle of the night and need to go? Is it worth walking right by a perfectly good bathroom every time? I would understand it if he did it leisurely or part of the time, but every single time? Sometimes it just seems so inconvenient! He's such a logical person otherwise, I just find this behavior so odd!
It could just be a compulsion of his to use the bathroom. We all have ways in which we are set, and this is probably one of his.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think this is probably the reason. Maybe if you're worried about it being dirty you could get him to keep it clean if he's going to use it?
I'm not worried about it being clean. I don't really care. If he wants to go to the bathroom on a nasty toilet, then he can. :tongue:
 

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I agree that it's nice to have your "own" bathroom but is it really worth the trouble of clawing your way up the stairs when you're sick, or feeling your way around in the pitch black when you wake up in the middle of the night and need to go? Is it worth walking right by a perfectly good bathroom every time? I would understand it if he did it leisurely or part of the time, but every single time? Sometimes it just seems so inconvenient! He's such a logical person otherwise, I just find this behavior so odd!
Yes. To me it would be at least, I don't know about other INTP's but I am very territorial.
 

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I got it. He probably started using it because he thought at least someone should or because of the guitar and poems. Eventually, I think he grew emotionally attached to the bathroom, and now uses it all the time. This is because INTPs can get emotionally attached to certain objects from the past (a combination of Si and Fe). :bored:
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Sounds like he's just staked his claim. I pass by a perfectly good bathroom to use the messy one, it just feels more comfortable. You say it's somewhat isolated from the hussle and bussle of the house. I would prefer that myself. And no, it has nothing to do with porn, although I have studied the pattern in the tile and there is this one shape that looks something like a naked babe. :blushed:
hahaha, that's hilarious about the tiles! :laughing:

Aha! So you do this too! And it's because it's more comfortable/isolated. I suppose that makes sense. Yeah, I guess the reason is - he just wants to. He staked his claim, as you put it. Simple as that. hmm. It still seems weird to me, but ok!

I guess the impulsive person in me says - when you gotta go, you gotta go. and I just use the closest bathroom to me. ahhh to each his own I guess.
 

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hahaha, that's hilarious about the tiles! :laughing:

Aha! So you do this too! And it's because it's more comfortable/isolated. I suppose that makes sense. Yeah, I guess the reason is - he just wants to. He staked his claim, as you put it. Simple as that. hmm. It still seems weird to me, but ok!

I guess the impulsive person in me says - when you gotta go, you gotta go. and I just use the closest bathroom to me. ahhh to each his own I guess.
It's similar to something I do - around here there's three or four branches of the Spar store, and I almost never go to the one that's basically around the corner, I tend to go to one that's almost two miles away. Of course, this is usually so I can listen to my iPod and take a walk more than preferring that particular branch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I got it. He probably started using it because he thought at least someone should or because of the guitar and poems. Eventually, I think he grew emotionally attached to the bathroom, and now uses it all the time. This is because INTPs can get emotionally attached to certain objects from the past (a combination of Si and Fe). :bored:
Makes sense! Because yeah, this was a gradual thing. Like I said, we used to both use the downstairs one every time. Now it's much more exclusive. Maybe I should start decorating the downstairs one with girly stuff since he views it as mine now, right? hahah just kidding. I'll go get a padded toilet seat and little doilies and stuff. haha.
 

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Is he willing to use public restrooms? I ask, because if it gets to the point where he avoids using any other bathroom altogether (like, he will hold everything in for hours until he is safe in his own bathroom), the behavior may be bordering on obsessive-compulsive and probably warrants some professional CBT. Otherwise, it's probably just what everyone else said-- he likes the privacy, having his own space, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Is he willing to use public restrooms? I ask, because if it gets to the point where he avoids using any other bathroom altogether (like, he will hold everything in for hours until he is safe in his own bathroom), the behavior may be bordering on obsessive-compulsive and probably warrants some professional CBT. Otherwise, it's probably just what everyone else said-- he likes the privacy, having his own space, etc.
haha funny you mention public restrooms... because it never fails - when we go out to eat he does this weird thing. We will be done eating, then waiting for our check, the we will pay the check, we will start making like we're gonna leave, get our coats etc, THEN we will make it all the way to the door of the restaurant and at this time, he will suddenly disappear. I'll turn around and he's gone. TO THE BATHROOM. And I have to stand there and wait for him! Why didn't he go when we were waiting for the check? Why didn't he go while I was still sitting at the table so at least I would have a place to sit while he went to the bathroom!?!!? No, he has to go AS WE WALK OUT THE DOOR. It never fails, every single time! I just think it's funny as hell. I've called him out on it many times. And he even does this when we are with a larger party. He will make 3, 4, 5 people wait at the door for him to go to the bathroom! So weird! Why would you do that?? haha, he cracks me up.

anyway, no, I don't think he's OCD. His dad might be, but he's not. Or if he was, it was only minor, I would think.
 

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haha funny you mention public restrooms... because it never fails - when we go out to eat he does this weird thing. We will be done eating, then waiting for our check, the we will pay the check, we will start making like we're gonna leave, get our coats etc, THEN we will make it all the way to the door of the restaurant and at this time, he will suddenly disappear. I'll turn around and he's gone. TO THE BATHROOM. And I have to stand there and wait for him! Why didn't he go when we were waiting for the check? Why didn't he go while I was still sitting at the table so at least I would have a place to sit while he went to the bathroom!?!!? No, he has to go AS WE WALK OUT THE DOOR. It never fails, every single time! I just think it's funny as hell. I've called him out on it many times. And he even does this when we are with a larger party. He will make 3, 4, 5 people wait at the door for him to go to the bathroom! So weird! Why would you do that?? haha, he cracks me up.

anyway, no, I don't think he's OCD. His dad might be, but he's not. Or if he was, it was only minor, I would think.
There's a theory that everyone has some OCD tendencies, so this could be his.
 
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