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My best friend is ESFP and we have had so many adventures over the years, I love this type so much! She understands me well. We compliment each other.

I always know who to call when I need help hiding the body or to share jazz hands tips. I am in awe of the way she performs. She can be up on stage singing a song I hate yet I LOVE it because she is singing it. She is a serious person to talk over issues with and bounce ideas off but when we go out together I am awestruck by the way she can say something totally insane and have a whole room feeling it with her. If I were to say the same thing everyone would look at the floor and be embarrassed for me (unless she was there laughing her head off and explaining it to people).


However. My father is this type as well and we don't get on so well. I was actually wondering if it was a power thing. It is like he cannot let go of being dominant person in the relationship.

I would do what Talon235 said in first post....they seem to shrug INTJ intensity off yet take on board what we say.:happy:


Post edit* How come you guys don't have a sticky you know when you are ESFP when..... thread? I want to lurk more.
 

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Post edit* How come you guys don't have a sticky you know when you are ESFP when..... thread? I want to lurk more.
Because there are like 3-5 of us here all together, and most of them are off doing something else.


Also the dominant- Tertiary loop thread had something interesting to say about esfp and their need to control. I can relate to this a lot when I was younger and a bully. I think for me it was years of an abusive childhood that lead me to think that I needed to be very aggressive and controlling to get my way. I use to think that emotions were a weakness, that what I felt inside would never be validated, so I had to push it away and ignore it. I realized this about myself a long time ago and have worked on it since, but I still see myself start to become obsessive every once and awhile.

ESFP/ENTJ: Se/Te or Te/Se--Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (not the same thing as OCD)! I've seen people mistake ESFPs in Se+Te dom-tert loops for ESTPs because they can be so insistent upon controlling their surroundings. These types epitomize enneagram type 8, as they are aggressive, blunt, confrontational and not the least bit afraid of hurting anyone's feelings. Inside they require the approval of others to a much higher degree than they let on, as Te insists on controlling and organizing external surroundings to ridiculous proportions, while Se pushes any naysayers out of the way with aggressive force and a take-no-prisoners attitude. Territorial and looking for any reason to display their power, these types are some of the most difficult to deal with of all dom-tert loops. If Fi/Ni were doing its job, these types would stop to consider that their actions have negative implications for others, and that aggressively taking charge is not always the best solution in every situation.
 

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Ok, that made no sense to me. Our functions are directed the same way but in reverse? Actually the functions of an INTJ and an ESFP are completely opposite of each other. There is no sameness at all, hence the dilemma that is sparking some office harrassment between an INTJ and an evil ESFP. They are so completely opposite that in my office we have what is called the "Clash."
I agree with tooboku. The personality with the most opposite functions to the ESFP is actually the ENTP.

ENTP:
Ne, Ti, Fe, Si
unconscious: Ni, Te, Fi, Se

ESFP:
Se, Fi, Te, Ni
unconscious: Si, Fe, Ti, Ne

INTJ has functions 1-4 reversed, but the direction of each function (Ni versus Ne) are still in the same direction.
 

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So, I've been working in an office where my boss is an ESFP and one of his employees is an INTJ. My boss harasses the heck out of the INTJ to the point that the INTJ has become so "introverted" that he won't even crack a smile anymore and tends to hide back in his corner cube so he can avoid being harrassed. The INTJ doesn't even have to do anything to raise the bosses ire. It just happens.

Do ESFPs have it out for INTJs? Do ESFPs get off on some sort of power trip?
I think your boss harrasses the INTJ because the he is the opposite of him personality wise (according to the MBTI). Instead of attempting to understand the INTJ like he should, he lashes out on him.
 

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Ok, that made no sense to me. Our functions are directed the same way but in reverse? Actually the functions of an INTJ and an ESFP are completely opposite of each other. There is no sameness at all, hence the dilemma that is sparking some office harrassment between an INTJ and an evil ESFP. They are so completely opposite that in my office we have what is called the "Clash."

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Several of the other posts touched on how the two personality types might be perceiving the situation differently and that sounds pretty good to me. The way I understand it, the ESFP thought the INTJ was getting too arrogant. That's actually kind of funny because the INTJ doesn't have a lick of arrogance in him, maybe some confidence because he is good at what he does, but arrogance, no way. He's prone to be more humble than arrogant. So, it looks like the ESFP who felt threatened by this arrogance misread the situation and started the whole thing. Then it just cascaded.

I think I have enough now to at least approach the situation without getting sucked into it. Thanks to all the respondents.
INTJs can appear very humble, especially in a workplace setting, but can have plenty of arrogance in them (speaking of course about myself). I think that the INTJ has established that his boss is just an inferior person. He'll then take the lashings from the guy, get frustrated but take the high road, keep it contained and not yell back. To get their mind off of it, they'll just cut themselves off from everyone and focus solely on work.

Or maybe not, but that's how I've dealt with similar situations in the past.
 

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Maybe ESTP or ESTJ? That sounds a lot like my ESTJ dad, lol. I don't know about ESFPs very much, but the ones I meet are generally really likable. (I'm not sure if they're ESFP though)
 

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Just directed at those who can't believe that an F could be so mean...

There are rotten apples of every type. I know there was a good thread about "Who are the 'villains' of each type?" about how a bad person of one type might behave differently than a bad person of another...but it's possible for someone of any type to be mean or selfish. What varies with type are what drives them to it or how it would be expressed.

It seems logical to me that bad ESxP's bully. That's what a lot of INTx's took in school from ESxP's, many of whom matured into better people. A bad SFJ would make enemies look bad. A bad STJ would likely yell at the enemy a lot. A bad NT would be likely to be more devious in plotting against disliked people, while a bad NF might be convinced he or she was right and show the enemy up without it being clear to others that he/she was trying to do that.

That's not what most people of any of those types do, but any type has its mean people, and the differences between how that meanness is expressed is itself interesting.
 

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esfp are really very insecure and can be self absorbed, and need to be slapped.
This made me LMAO!

I am intimidated by people who have something I don't. This can lead to me over compensating in the asshole factor, or fatal attraction.
I think we can all feel that way at times. But I would have to say that in my experience anyway, ESFP can definitely have a strong tendency to be this way.

Talon, you are so self-deprecating. I hope you are equally aware of your wonderful qualities!:wink:
 

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Yes a esfp, once made aware, should either feel bad or is evil.
exactly. most of them have to be told how their behavior is affecting others since they will most likely not be able to figure that out on their own.

Talon, you are so self-deprecating. I hope you are equally aware of your wonderful qualities!:wink:
There is plenty of time in ones life to acknowledge the good things about onesself, but at the end of the day that accomplishes nothing. this is a problem thread and therefore it is best to post solutions only, such as pointing out the flaws of ESFP's that may apply to this situation.
 

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I have an ESFP sister. She harasses me for no reason and I try to ignore it but sometimes I have to fight back and make her cry just to get her off my back! :confused:
 

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So, I've been working in an office where my boss is an ESFP and one of his employees is an INTJ. My boss harasses the heck out of the INTJ to the point that the INTJ has become so "introverted" that he won't even crack a smile anymore and tends to hide back in his corner cube so he can avoid being harrassed. The INTJ doesn't even have to do anything to raise the bosses ire. It just happens.

Do ESFPs have it out for INTJs? Do ESFPs get off on some sort of power trip?
Dude yes! they dont seem to like us :( my roommates an ESFP and the extent of our relationship is "hi" :(
 

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INTJ vs. ESFP in a general sense can basically be reduced down to srs bsns vs party hardy.

it's no surprise to me that they clash just based on who they are and not necessarily on their actual interactions.
 

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I like and get along NTs just fine, in fact I find them quite interesting, so there's another stereotype I don't fit into lol.
 

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I have never had a problem getting along with or understanding ESFP's. ESFJ's on the other hand...
 

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So, I've been working in an office where my boss is an ESFP and one of his employees is an INTJ. My boss harasses the heck out of the INTJ to the point that the INTJ has become so "introverted" that he won't even crack a smile anymore and tends to hide back in his corner cube so he can avoid being harrassed. The INTJ doesn't even have to do anything to raise the bosses ire. It just happens.

Do ESFPs have it out for INTJs? Do ESFPs get off on some sort of power trip?
Not that I'm siding with your boss, but does the INTJ come off as arrogant, rude or unfriendly? That happens a lot with introverts, unintentionally usually. And Se-doms tend to be sensitive to what they see and they also tend to quickly and impulsively react. Which is bad news for the INTJ.

My only problem with NTs is that they tend to (mistakenly) think that they're intellectually superior to everyone else, and INTJs and especially ENTPs are the worst with this. It's really cheesy and irritating. By doing so, they're falling into the cliche NT stereotype, proving themselves to be either unoriginal (and proud of it...) or not bright enough to realize what they're doing. lol

And it's amusing, considering that they're forgetting that every NT has that mentality, meaning that the NTs look down upon each other. :crazy:

But if your INTJ is condescending (and many extreme extroverts will take others' silence as them being condescending and arrogant), that could play a role into your ESFP's negative reaction. That shite makes me go bananas.

But it's still unprofessional of him to treat any employee unfairly, if not based on performance reasons or other quantitative reasons.
 

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So, I've been working in an office where my boss is an ESFP and one of his employees is an INTJ. My boss harasses the heck out of the INTJ to the point that the INTJ has become so "introverted" that he won't even crack a smile anymore and tends to hide back in his corner cube so he can avoid being harrassed. The INTJ doesn't even have to do anything to raise the bosses ire. It just happens.

Do ESFPs have it out for INTJs? Do ESFPs get off on some sort of power trip?
Lol, it's rather ironic that I just had a dinner with my sister and when we started talking about INTJs, and I started describing their type by making comparisons to INTJs we know, she interrupted me with: "Oh, so in other words, they're cold-hearted people who always think they're right and the best? In that case, I don't like INTJs!"

I can't imagine her doing what your boss did, though. On the other hand, I can imagine her shittalking this INTJ later with friends or fellow colleagues, and potentially being particularly cold attitude-wise towards him...

Most likely your boss is under the impression that the INTJ is particularly arrogant about his own abilities or knowledge, or has had a bad experience with an INTJ. My sister is strongly opposed to INTJs, though she dated one for a year and a half. She wanted to strangle him half the time, though they get along just fine as friends, as long as they don't see each other too often. His "intellectual arrogance" pisses her off to the extent that she can start debating with him just to prove him wrong, something that's pretty uncharacteristic of my sister.

I, on the other hand, love INTJs. That particular ex of hers was probably the one of her ex-boyfriends I got along the best with xD
 

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I was always under the opnion that ESFP had some sense of caring inside of them. If that goes away, what has the ESFP become?
Basically I'd say they probably become more like me, broken and numb and likely will type themselves as NTs like I did since we do take on the bad sides of INTJs when under stress...
 
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