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Discussion Starter #1
Met a girl at work who I thought was amazing. She flirted, I flirted back and asked her out but she turned me down. I gave up, she started fucking douchebags. Never flirted with her again. Found out later when I discovered MBTI that she is ESFP. That made me realize why I liked her so much. Now she´s talking all kinds of shit behind my back and in front of me. Now she´s fucking someone who calls her names behind her back.

Met another girl online and knew pretty quickly that shes ESFP. We talked a lot but somehow we never met. I told her about our types and she didn´t understand a thing. I gave her up because I didn´t wanna go down the same road with her as I did with the first one. She said we could have been friends for life or even more. Although I realized that she thought she had found someone better than me because of some stuff she wrote on facebook. A few months later she contacted me again when she was heartbroken and thought she had a chance with me. I recently discovered that she is promiscous.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn´t be a slut if you want to succeed with an INTP. I´m not trying to pass judgement on peoples sexlife, but an INTP dont want to feel second best. Once you´ve found an INTP you like have patience and dont sleep around.
 

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I skimmed your post and that doesn't apply to every INTP & ESFP relationship. It depends on individuals, and in this case, it definitely won't work out. I don't like the attitude and aura coming from you; it's discouraging. I don't think ESFPs can have a solid and romantic relationship until they're very mature. Expect them to be their wildest in their teenage years til late twenties. This is coming from a 16 year old, so take the advice as you please. Also, I think you should change your title. It's misleading and should be more like "I can't work an INTP + ESFP relationship"
 

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It is hard to have a relationship with the wrong person but I don't think I can deal with someone who is out there and is full of energy. Could it be that you were overwhelmed?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I skimmed your post and that doesn't apply to every INTP & ESFP relationship. It depends on individuals, and in this case, it definitely won't work out. I don't like the attitude and aura coming from you; it's discouraging. I don't think ESFPs can have a solid and romantic relationship until they're very mature. Expect them to be their wildest in their teenage years til late twenties. This is coming from a 16 year old, so take the advice as you please. Also, I think you should change your title. It's misleading and should be more like "I can't work an INTP + ESFP relationship"
I am very aware of the difference between MBTI individuals. But the first ESFP I met has issues.

I know I may sound bitter and cynical but that is becuse I´ve been very badly treated by the first ESFP. I have also seen some very tragic lifestorys due to peoples inability to see their own weaknesses.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
You can't make a conclusion based off your own personal experience.
I´m making a conclusion out of my own meandering experience AND others as well. I know for a fact that ESFP have trouble with staying with one partner but the INTP has not. I´m not trying to piss anyone off I just want to learn people something.
 

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This is so typist it's ridiculous.

I don't believe that ESFP's and INTP's would be a good match, anyway. I don't believe in that Socionics theory about relationships.

I have my own theory regarding romantic relationships and Myers-Briggs types though. You should try an ENFJ (with mutual attraction of course).
 

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This is so typist it's ridiculous.

I don't believe that ESFP's and INTP's would be a good match, anyway. I don't believe in that Socionics theory about relationships.

I have my own theory regarding romantic relationships and Myers-Briggs types though. You should try an ENFJ (with mutual attraction of course).
 

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This is so typist it's ridiculous.

I don't believe that ESFP's and INTP's would be a good match, anyway. I don't believe in that Socionics theory about relationships.

I have my own theory regarding romantic relationships and Myers-Briggs types though. You should try an ENFJ (with mutual attraction of course).
 

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Same crap with Isfj-entj. They like each others qualities yet the Isfj might see the entj as too much to trust and the entj might find them stifling. It's also e vs I interaction as well. It's a rather huge hill to climb over before you reach each other.
 

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@OP

If you're going to use socionics, you need to use it correctly. Socionics duality for ESFP is with people who use the socionics versions of Ni and Te, many of whom test as INTJ in MBTI.

Some INTJ's get a kick out of ESFP because they pull them out of their abstract mental worlds, and into the heat of the moment. An INTP's mental world doesn't really need to be put into this kind of state, as much as it needs acceptance and care from those who value their complex theories and thought.

There is no such thing as a "perfect relationship" theory, and anyone who tells you they've got it is misled. ENFJ are not "perfect" matches for INTP because their perceiving functions totally mismatch. ESFJ are not perfect either in some cases because of enneagram differences, and personal biases. Same thing with INTJ and ESFP.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
@OP

If you're going to use socionics, you need to use it correctly. Socionics duality for ESFP is with people who use the socionics versions of Ni and Te, many of whom test as INTJ in MBTI.
I know Socionics isn´t really the same thing as MBTI but using MBTI and the Socionics relationship chart together makes wonders. Why? Because I´ve checked out a lot of combinations INTP/ESFP, INTP/INTP, INTP/ISFJ, INTP/ESFJ, INTP/ENTJ, INTP/ENTP, INTP/ENFJ, INTJ/ISFJ etc etc.
 

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I know Socionics isn´t really the same thing as MBTI but using MBTI and the Socionics relationship chart together makes wonders. Why? Because I´ve checked out a lot of combinations INTP/ESFP, INTP/INTP, INTP/ISFJ, INTP/ESFJ, INTP/ENTJ, INTP/ENTP, INTP/ENFJ, INTJ/ISFJ etc etc.
You know, (now not so) secretly I know this and agree with you 110%, but the overwhelming majority is of the belief that the socionics types either don't work at all, or can't be translated from MBTI. They don't test it for themselves, they just read the one or two sites that hold that opinion and follow. Or, they're too biased from their past relations to ever compare them to socionics objectively - they just deny it outright. Whenever I talk about socionics on PerC, I always feel the need to hedge my policing heavily to accommodate a group that tends to both use the theory promiscuously, and denounce it without really understanding it.

If you're an INTP in MBTI and an INTj in socionics, a relationship with an ESFP would be a conflict relationship, which is generally regarded as the most difficult type since your cognitive processes oppose each other on every level. Most MBTI INTP are not INTp in socionics, and I'd bet big bucks you aren't either.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
If you're an INTP in MBTI and an INTj in socionics, a relationship with an ESFP would be a conflict relationship, which is generally regarded as the most difficult type since your cognitive processes oppose each other on every level. Most MBTI INTP are not INTp in socionics, and I'd bet big bucks you aren't either.
I know I´m INTP in both and I know how an INTP works with an ESFP and an ESFJ. ESFJ´s are a nightmare for me.
 

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I´m not going to argue with you anymore but it seems like the truth hurts for you?
If this is how you end an argument, tsk tsk. And the "truth" you speak of - it applies to every one. ESFPs aren't the only personality who can be "sluts". Because two girls you have encountered so happened to have multiple sex partners, you draw a conclusion that ESFP/INTP duality is so hard to achieve. I also question whether or not your statements about the girls are true. Do you have solid evidence to make the claims that they had sex with multiple partners or it's just misinterpretations of extreme flirting?

Say you've had a fling with 16 different personalities, and they all so happened to be sluts... I'll be expecting a 'Why INTP/XXXX duality is so hard to achieve' in every section.

Oh and one more thing I wanted to say that I hear INTPs say to ESFPs: umad?
 

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Met a girl at work who I thought was amazing. She flirted, I flirted back and asked her out but she turned me down. I gave up, she started fucking douchebags. Never flirted with her again. Found out later when I discovered MBTI that she is ESFP. That made me realize why I liked her so much. Now she´s talking all kinds of shit behind my back and in front of me. Now she´s fucking someone who calls her names behind her back.

Met another girl online and knew pretty quickly that shes ESFP. We talked a lot but somehow we never met. I told her about our types and she didn´t understand a thing. I gave her up because I didn´t wanna go down the same road with her as I did with the first one. She said we could have been friends for life or even more. Although I realized that she thought she had found someone better than me because of some stuff she wrote on facebook. A few months later she contacted me again when she was heartbroken and thought she had a chance with me. I recently discovered that she is promiscous.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn´t be a slut if you want to succeed with an INTP. I´m not trying to pass judgement on peoples sexlife, but an INTP dont want to feel second best. Once you´ve found an INTP you like have patience and dont sleep around.
You are insulting someone because they bruised your ego. Not an attractive attitude.

I don't recommend bringing up type dynamics with ESFPs early on. I think it would risk scaring them off.

With ESFPs you have to act quickly. You don't own someone because you like them, and ESFPs don't have much patience until they mature.

As an aside, your post reads a little like you are trying to find an ESFP because you want to try to experience a duality relationship. I think that's a terrible idea. You don't need to try to find someone with a certain type to apply a preconceived set of assumptions about relationship dynamics. You need to instead try to find someone you feel good about, regardless of their personality, and see what kind of dynamic develops organically.
 
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