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Dear ENTJ,

One of the only people who has ever intrigued me and caught my eye is an ENTJ.

And NOT because of his looks, or any other factors - if there's one thing about us INFPs, we are not superficial - but because of his personality. His being.

Of course, being the reserved person I am, I have only observed him from afar for a few years. I've never really spoken to him. I'm only seventeen, and I'm still daft and foolish when it comes to boys. And perhaps it may seem I have a too idealized version of this personality type. But INFPs can be objective when they want to, and I have a keen eye in regards to discerning people, and I just wanted to put this out there.

I can't say the same for all INFPs, and I know all ENTJs are not the same, but, based on my subtle and quiet observation of this boy, I have to say, I admire and respect ENTJs a good deal. Not just romantically - though of course, being the dreamy little romantics that we are, anyone who is the slightest bit intriguing has a tendency to morph into a potential partner in our minds. But, like I said, I'm trying to be objective about this. Apparently INFPs and ENTJs are suited as partners, and then there are other opinions to there contrary, but all that is irrelevant - I'm talking about you ENTJs as people.

For one thing, though you can be logical and brusque and cold to the point where my sensitive heart quails and winces, beneath that harsh exterior is a softness and kindness and extraordinary depth that is absent in many other types. Many other types don't have that fascinating contrast. Though you try to hide behind your tough façade, just by looking at your face I can catch glimpses of that inner vulnerability (I'm sorry if that offends you in any way. But vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and we all find people who show their vulnerabilities to be more interesting and attractive).

Yes, you can be rather stubborn and defensive and egotistical. You can be argumentative as hell. Sulky and even a little venomous when you don't win, or get your way. Though some of these traits might be more exaggerated due to his particular ENTJ's age. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything here - I idealized the ENTJ I mentioned earlier too much in the beginning, which led to awkwardness and my pushing him away and in turn revealed some of these less appealing traits.

Nevertheless, what I truly, truly admire is that fact that you guys seem to have GOOD HEARTS. Like, I know any personality type can be good, kind people, but the goodness of most people is often more superficial and shallow, and less probed or dwelt upon, whereas your innate goodness towards your fellow beings seems thought out, planned and deliberate. It has depth, and true heart.

The ENTJ I know, despite being privileged (AKA handsome, tall, male and white) is friends with people of all races and backgrounds and genders, nice and friendly to everyone, stands up for anyone who is bullied or denigrated or made to feel small, means well, and is happy to lend a helping hand or give up his seat on the bus. There's just this sense of goodness to him. A steadfast desire for fairness, justice. When I see that kind of thing, as an INFP, my heart warms. Genuinely good people with a great deal of depth behind their kindness are few and far between, and to see such integrity shining out from such a person's eyes is lovely.

You ENTJs, despite the social butterfly persona you portray, seem slightly detached in social situations such as raucous parties, as if you'd be much happier doing something an INFP would like to do, like a read a book (though maybe a textbook on Theoretical Physics than a novel). You have this intellectual introversion, this hunger for knowledge, this curiosity, that is at odds with the goofy and loud persona you put on. This makes you stand out from the crowd, at least in my eyes, and perhaps those of other INFPs too.

Also (and I'm trying very hard to not veer into idealism here), you seem to bury your internal pain and any personal grief. Often, behind your unbreakable, confident exterior are tiny little tremors of insecurity. And perhaps it only surfaces when you're alone, in great, slow, dark waves. I wouldn't go so far as to say you're all tortured souls on the inside, because it depends on your life circumstances and other factors and whatnot, but as a Feeler, there is something incredibly touching about this aspect of your personality. It's probably because I have an attraction to silent suffering, not for any sadistic reasons, but for the nobility it entails, and because I lie awake in bed and night and feel my body drift on those same, gloomy shores. We INFPs make an art of our suffering, and love to get in touch with it.

I guess that's all I really have to say. Brash and brusque and coldly logical you ENTJs can be, deep down, you're very complex and interesting and kind people. You probably think me pathetic for delving into a boy's personality from afar, and probably falling in love with him a bit during the process, but I found it rewarding and intellectually stimulating; and in the end, I'm not really looking for a relationship - if it happens, it happens. If courage fails me, I'll weep silently in my heart and move on. If I get a chance to talk to him, I'll talk. If it doesn't, I'm okay being on my own. Just a little nugget of INFP wisdom: you've got to be okay by yourself. But you rationalists probably already know that.

Thank you for reading.

You've got a lot of goodness inside you, and I hope you can deploy it along with your confidence and charm and intelligence and charisma to do good in this often dark world.

Yours sincerely,

INFP Girl
 

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@MikeLloyd A good post deserves its own thread, instead of being buried away in the vast ocean of lost memories. This is for ENTJs, while the Dear-thread is about any type mostly by ENTJs. Why such pro-sticky and anti-discussion? Not everything has to be organized like a fortune 500 company. :wink:

Ahh, I see now the ENTJ warmth.
^

Very well written @RealisticDreamer. How do you see our vulnerabilities? What gives us away? Any tips on how to appear as a ruthless killer to people? Actually the same thing happened to me. Was a friend of an NFP for a decade without my knowledge... We can really be blind to things like that. Go say hi to the guy, don't leave it to chance.
 

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@johnnyyukon @Eventive @ChristynJ @Megas

The backlash from my helpful reminder was more by the ENTJs/ENTP/INTPs than the OP. I am sure OP understood no offense was intended.
Yes, that's because she's a sensitive 17 year old girl with (still) 5 posts.

You're right, I doubt she's been crying in a corner, but when some new person puts that much thought into a post, impressive piece of writing really, I try to be a little more welcoming. But do whatever you do.
 

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OP has successfully wooed some ENTJ women. Guys are manly tearing behind their screens.
Lol. No small feat.


Sent from my undisclosed underground bunker using Tapatalk
 

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OP has successfully wooed some ENTJ women. Guys are manly tearing behind their screens.
Well, you look at things like this part:

Also (and I'm trying very hard to not veer into idealism here), you seem to bury your internal pain and any personal grief. Often, behind your unbreakable, confident exterior are tiny little tremors of insecurity. And perhaps it only surfaces when you're alone, in great, slow, dark waves. I wouldn't go so far as to say you're all tortured souls on the inside, because it depends on your life circumstances and other factors and whatnot, but as a Feeler, there is something incredibly touching about this aspect of your personality. It's probably because I have an attraction to silent suffering, not for any sadistic reasons, but for the nobility it entails, and because I lie awake in bed and night and feel my body drift on those same, gloomy shores. We INFPs make an art of our suffering, and love to get in touch with it.
I don't know what's more surprising -- that someone noticed, or that someone gave a damn.

Part of me truly doesn't know what to say. And another part of me waits with suspicion.... at base, I cannot believe anyone would give a damn at all, save for self-interest. And so, I wonder what she wants.

And then I think, "But perhaps she wants nothing?"

Then, there's this quiet ripping sound, and I think, "I'm being stupid, the world simply does not work that way." Immediately following, there's a feeling of resignation.

Or re: the quiet ripping sound, maybe I just have gas. :tongue:
 

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I don't know what's more surprising -- that someone noticed, or that someone gave a damn.

Part of me truly doesn't know what to say. And another part of me waits with suspicion.... at base, I cannot believe anyone would give a damn at all, save for self-interest. And so, I wonder what she wants.

And then I think, "But perhaps she wants nothing?"

Then, there's this quiet ripping sound, and I think, "I'm being stupid, the world simply does not work that way." Immediately following, there's a feeling of resignation.
OP just wants to express her love for the people she admires, just like everyone else does. Or something like that. I don't know, I don't need that lovey-dovey crap.

Or re: the quiet ripping sound, maybe I just have gas. :tongue:
Gross.
 
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