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So why are some so obsessed with that word 'Date'. Its just a word. Would you feel different if someone said, 'lets go hang out'? What is the difference? Its pretty much the same thing, isn't it? Does the definition of date equal something more significant then just meeting and hanging?? I don't think so and wonder why it does to some people.
I guess to me, the word “hang out”, has less implications than the word “date”.
When I think of dating, I think of it as finding candidates for marriage (in the very distant future). When someone asks to me if you want to “hang out”, it seems a lot more casual.

But I’ve been told I’m a pretty intense guy, so maybe it’s just me overthinking it. When it comes down to it, they both pretty much mean the same thing. You definitely want to keep things casual during dating at the beginning, just as you would if you were just “hanging out”.
 

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I guess to me, the word “hang out”, has less implications than the word “date”.
When I think of dating, I think of it as finding candidates for marriage (in the very distant future). When someone asks to me if you want to “hang out”, it seems a lot more casual.

But I’ve been told I’m a pretty intense guy, so maybe it’s just me overthinking it. When it comes down to it, they both pretty much mean the same thing. You definitely want to keep things casual during dating at the beginning, just as you would if you were just “hanging out”.
Okay, makes sense. I think of dating as a 'getting to know someone much better' and maybe a bit of exclusivity possible after 'dating' for a undetermined about of time. I wonder if that is a personality type definition or a universal unspoken feel on the term 'dating'. I should do a poll!
 

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So why are some so obsessed with that word 'Date'. Its just a word. Would you feel different if someone said, 'lets go hang out'? What is the difference? Its pretty much the same thing, isn't it? Does the definition of date equal something more significant then just meeting and hanging?? I don't think so and wonder why it does to some people.
"Date" may simply be a word, but the stakes are high, especially with the expectations(atleast from 1 of them). I don't know who is obsessed with Date, I am happy as long as I am not.

Getting to know each other, spending quality time with each other, Understanding each others emotions and Repecting each other - Is what I believe in.

"Meeting and Hanging" need not necessarily achieve what I believe, I can meet a lot of people, and still feel emotionally detached from them, I can be miles away from the person I love, care for, I still feel connected to that person. I need not necessarily need to go on a so called "Date" to feel connected to that person.

It does to some people because some people like me believe that there are more to a relationship than mere "Meeting & Hanging" leading to so called "Dates" to decide on a relationship.

That is why there is a generation gap between what we understand, perceive to be Pure Love, than what is now called "Meeting & Hanging" leading upto dates. No offense to both.
 

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"Date" may simply be a word, but the stakes are high, especially with the expectations(atleast from 1 of them). I don't know who is obsessed with Date, I am happy as long as I am not.

Getting to know each other, spending quality time with each other, Understanding each others emotions and Repecting each other - Is what I believe in.

"Meeting and Hanging" need not necessarily achieve what I believe, I can meet a lot of people, and still feel emotionally detached from them, I can be miles away from the person I love, care for, I still feel connected to that person. I need not necessarily need to go on a so called "Date" to feel connected to that person.

It does to some people because some people like me believe that there are more to a relationship than mere "Meeting & Hanging" leading to so called "Dates" to decide on a relationship.

That is why there is a generation gap between what we understand, perceive to be Pure Love, than what is now called "Meeting & Hanging" leading upto dates. No offense to both.
I was referring to the many comments on different threads here that mentioned that dreaded word 'date' and the dislike of such a reference.
 

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I say its because dating disrupts the flow of the whole.
 

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Define 'flow of the whole' Im not familiar with that phrase.
Thanks :)
Everybody has their own life path. A story arc. If you date someone then you take them away from their life path.

Live and let live I guess.
 

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Everybody has their own life path. A story arc. If you date someone then you take them away from their life path.

Live and let live I guess.
And what if dating someone is a part of someone's life path?
Aren't people supposed to operate most effectively together? The flaws of one individual can be strength of another, and vice versa.

Hell, take it from me, I'm an introvert, and I am all about improving yourself individually. But I don't think we should give up on relationships just because we may or may not have a set path in life.
That's something I have been working on, and it's been really difficult to come to grips with. I realized that while I can get through life myself just fine by myself, you can't acheive anything greater just on your own.
 

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And what if dating someone is a part of someone's life path?
Aren't people supposed to operate most effectively together? The flaws of one individual can be strength of another, and vice versa.

Hell, take it from me, I'm an introvert,and I am all about improving yourself individually. But I don't think we should give up on relationships just because we may or may not have a set path in life.
That's something I have been working on, and it's been really difficult to come to grips with. I realized that while I can get through life myself just fine by myself, you can't acheive anything greater just on your own.
Yes, totally agreed. The people we come across can inspire us, bring our attention to new perspectives, as well as help mold who we are. It's all part of our personal growth; something that we cant do independently. We're human after all.
 

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And what if dating someone is a part of someone's life path?
Aren't people supposed to operate most effectively together? The flaws of one individual can be strength of another, and vice versa.

Hell, take it from me, I'm an introvert,and I am all about improving yourself individually. But I don't think we should give up on relationships just because we may or may not have a set path in life.
That's something I have been working on, and it's been really difficult to come to grips with. I realized that while I can get through life myself just fine by myself, you can't acheive anything greater just on your own.
nicely stated.
 

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And what if dating someone is a part of someone's life path?
Aren't people supposed to operate most effectively together? The flaws of one individual can be strength of another, and vice versa.

Hell, take it from me, I'm an introvert, and I am all about improving yourself individually. But I don't think we should give up on relationships just because we may or may not have a set path in life.
That's something I have been working on, and it's been really difficult to come to grips with. I realized that while I can get through life myself just fine by myself, you can't acheive anything greater just on your own.
I just don't relate. I haven't been touched by a female let alone shown compassion by one in ages. The path I crossed today with a woman: she locked body language toward me while on coms with her boyfriend or something as she's following orders from him. The physical chemistry is there as shown by the body language. But she says "...but he's a loser" so she walks away. Lol then she goes up to the nearby black homeless man and gives him a hug. I flipped her off.

So here's the deal. Im a homeless white man. A loser. But there's systemic racism going on with white men being losers related to their lack of having a big dick. So on the contrary there's the big dick black guy that women choose over the poor white boy who has to pay for sex because his 6 inch dick and abs and chest isn't enough. So she just reiterated that cliche by going toward him cuz he's black. He's poor too. What's stupid is that I'm her own race. She's white in favor of black people instead of helping her own kind.

Anyway by me not intervening with her life, she gets to continue down that path of being blacked and I the black guy gets a hug. If she went after me, the black guy wouldn't get a hug nor would she be satisfied because I have no money to buy her stuff. Yeah I get to spend more time alone but i have already accepted that as fate for MY story arc - forever alone and on the streets. I don't know what female touch feels like. Who cares its not about ME.
 

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I just don't relate. I haven't been touched by a female let alone shown compassion by one in ages. The path I crossed today with a woman: she locked body language toward me while on coms with her boyfriend or something as she's following orders from him. The physical chemistry is there as shown by the body language. But she says "...but he's a loser" so she walks away. Lol then she goes up to the nearby black homeless man and gives him a hug. I flipped her off.

So here's the deal. Im a homeless white man. A loser. But there's systemic racism going on with white men being losers related to their lack of having a big dick. So on the contrary there's the big dick black guy that women choose over the poor white boy who has to pay for sex because his 6 inch dick and abs and chest isn't enough. So she just reiterated that cliche by going toward him cuz he's black. He's poor too. What's stupid is that I'm her own race. She's white in favor of black people instead of helping her own kind.

Anyway by me not intervening with her life, she gets to continue down that path of being blacked and I the black guy gets a hug. If she went after me, the black guy wouldn't get a hug nor would she be satisfied because I have no money to buy her stuff. Yeah I get to spend more time alone but i have already accepted that as fate for MY story arc - forever alone and on the streets. I don't know what female touch feels like. Who cares its not about ME.
Hey man, sorry to hear about your situation.

This may be a bit off topic, but i would really recommend you read the book Can't Hurt Me, by Walton Goggins. He was a member of Seal Team 6, and is one of the toughest people on the planet. But before all that, he considered himself a loser as well. The change he went through is incredible, and it's one anyone can do.
The book taught me quite a few things about willpower and self-determination, and it helped get me through a few tough times.
It's a tough read, but I think it might help you out in the end. It's your choice though.

Ultimately, the only person that can get you out of your situation is yourself. If you are unwilling to change, the world won't for you.
 

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Hey man, sorry to hear about your situation.

This may be a bit off topic, but i would really recommend you read the book Can't Hurt Me, by Walton Goggins. He was a member of Seal Team 6, and is one of the toughest people on the planet. But before all that, he considered himself a loser as well. The change he went through is incredible, and it's one anyone can do.
The book taught me quite a few things about willpower and self-determination, and it helped get me through a few tough times.
It's a tough read, but I think it might help you out in the end. It's your choice though.

Ultimately, the only person that can get you out of your situation is yourself. If you are unwilling to change, the world won't for you.
I got pretty fuckin tough. The problem is I'm never happy. Lonely and I don't trust anyone.
 

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865664

Party of ONE
 

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If to speak of the dilemmas of an INFJ male in the dating world, there are multiple salient factors at play... to name a few;

- we typically have all encompassing high standards

- we can see the disingenuous motivations of others
- yet, we cringe at bending our own internal
moral compass

- our social standing is usually atypical of the general population and what women are akin to seeking

- we have certain “quirks” ... e.g., - need for personal space

My only advice to younger INFJ’s - know your worth and be assured of that ... you may be “different” but embrace your inner nature and be one with it ...
 

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When I first entered employment and the work force, tirelessly footing it and handing out resumes, nervously attending interviews, walking all over town; it’s then that I realized, it’s basically the same as dating. You basically just have to go around asking woman endlessly if they‘re available it’s like applying for a job.

I used to be given pressure all the time to get a girlfriend, I was told to “just do it” and then that I must be gay if I don’t, without further elaboration. It’s not that simple at all, what the hell? it’s crazy to justify or imagine spending a vast amount of time actively speaking with and finding potential romantic partners but it is what it is I guess. And of course nothing is ever that simple.
 

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I feel like women more often then not are the ones who think with their private parts, and that’s one thing I find really irksome and troublesome. It’s like you have to have full flung Se or something to really seem adequately stimulating. But then, it’s hard to say for certain and I feel like it’s almost nor worth the hassle but these are just some experiences. I haven’t found many women I feel like I’m genuinely compatible with in a way that doesn’t require some concentrated effort on my part and then am bewildered because what am I supposed to do but then I’ve thought that it’s mostly white/western women who are horribly entitled and I just shouldn’t bother anymore. I am mostly European so I would naturally think I should date white women but it hasn’t really worked very well.

I’ve met women who are like Asian, Japanese and even black who are a lot easier to get along with so IDK! Whereas then white women it’s just oh fuck, here’s the ego and complicated massive expectations and unyielding standards.

And I have been told I am smart, attractive and funny but interacting with a lotof women, why does it have to be so unpredictable nuanced complicated and touchy? God.
 

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That being said I guess I‘ve surprisingly had more successful experiences with Americans women for some reason, it was quite out of the ordinary and not something I was really used to.
I really don’t like living in Canada anymore for various reasons sigh I also found some German women were really nice to me and I got along with them alright but then they would randomly get mad at me and it just ruined knowing them.

I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bad mouthing women too much I’m just speaking from some experiences.
 
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