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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Why is being alone often preferable to an ENFP?

Hey everyone,

What I really want to know from this thread is, what does it mean to feel introverted as an ENFP and why does it happen? I've always struggled with this concept from a psychological perspective?

I've been thinking about this a lot and I don't quite know the kind of discussion I want out of it, but I'm just going to type and see what comes out. Hopefully some of you will have some useful insight. (BTW, I typed myself as an ENFP long ago and there's no question of that).

As I'm sure you've read, and experienced yourselves, ENFPs 'are known as the most introverted extroverts'. I'm not entirely sure what that means from a Jungian perspective, but a few things have happened to me recently that has made me reflect on it.

1. Last year, I became really ill and withdrew much more than usually do (I'm currently recovering). However, the withdrawing itself didn't affect my mental state as much as it would with some people, I think.
2. I read some old teacher reports from when I was a young child saying that I 'preferred my own company to others' company although I talked and interrupted a lot'.

Some of my personality traits (when I'm feeling well) are very obviously extraverted:

1. Very very chatty
2. Often energised in social environments and more so around intuitive types
3. Feel wired after lots of social interaction with different people (as long it's about subjects I'm into, but I take an interest in most non-superficial stuff).
4. Can be super silly, hyperactive and/or excited in groups or when travelling
5. Super excited when I dive into a project that makes me feel passionate.

BUT when I think about it, when I withdraw, I REALLY withdraw, and I don't get miserable about it. I lived on my own for years, up until I got ill, and I loved it. I mean, I do crave connection with people sometimes but, a lot of the time, I honestly think I prefer my own company. I'm quite a reflective sort of person and I also get easily addicted to activities you do on your own, like online chess, writing, reading, video games, TV, meditation etc. I don't ever really feel like I need to be with other people in any sense.

I've read before that there could be a couple of reasons for this:

1. Fi is my secondary function so I need substantial time to digest my experiences and reflect on whether I am living my life in a 'genuine' way.
2. My primary function, Ne, is a bit of an 'ambiverted' function, meaning if there's no-one to bounce ideas/possibilities off, I'll do it on my own in my head.

But after being on my own for substantial periods recently, I feel as if there's more to it than that. Maybe there's some nurture at play as well, I don't know.

Either way, I'd appreciate other people's thoughts on this because I'd like to understand it better - the contrast has always perplexed me. :)
 
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I'm quite a reflective sort of person and I also get easily addicted to activities you do on your own, like online chess, writing, reading, video games, TV, meditation etc. I don't ever really feel like I need to be with other people in any sense.
Most of these are still interaction with external world.
 

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What would you class as an 'introverted' pass time then if not those?
Introvert for enfp - is introspecting. NE doms are the most introverted extrovert bc they are more likely to introspect themselves more
Reflect and understand ones emotions and internal values

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What would you class as an 'introverted' pass time then if not those?
Introspecting about feelings and details of the past with Fi and Si for example.
Also, doing structured introspection Te-Si with heavy emphasis on keeping details and memories right with Si.

Structured-self-talk in the head is kinda weird because it heavily relies on Te because it's basically talking except that without making sounds. Kinda bizarre because one is using extroverted function but external world can't quite observe the product of that extroversion until it's said aloud ^^ .
I guess in a way, the energy is still oriented on the external world.
 

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Ill also like to add, that I believe it's to be totally comfortable with oneself and that alone time. Doesn't necessarily mean being 'lonely'.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Introspecting about feelings and details of the past with Fi and Si for example.
Also, doing structured introspection Te-Si with heavy emphasis on keeping details and memories right with Si.

Structured-self-talk in the head is kinda weird because it heavily relies on Te because it's basically talking except that without making sounds. Kinda bizarre because one is using extroverted function but external world can't quite observe the product of that extroversion until it's said aloud ^^ .
I guess in a way, the energy is still oriented on the external world.
I get what you mean, but I did mention reflection and meditation as two of the things I like to do and that basically sums that up in less Myers-Briggs type language, does it not? I was wanting pass time examples of things introverts like to do really.

It might have been too simplistic of me to talk about it by proxy like that but many introverts I know enjoy the other pass times I specified over social interaction.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Ill also like to add, that I believe it's to be totally comfortable with oneself and that alone time. Doesn't necessarily mean being 'lonely'.
Good point. I wonder if subconscious social pressure to mix with people when you don't always want to contributes to a lot of people thinking otherwise. Do you, as an ENFP, enjoy alone time more than time with people a lot of the time?
 

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Good point. I wonder if subconscious social pressure to mix with people when you don't always want to contributes to a lot of people thinking otherwise. Do you, as an ENFP, enjoy alone time more than time with people a lot of the time?
For the most part. I need to have it to gather my thoughts... or be in my own world. Yeah, its exhausting knowing different kinds of people with different perspectives and personalities. (I love it but it gets tiring so I must retreat).

Ive learned over time to be comfortable with myself and being alone is leisure.
 

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I don't get exhausted to learn different perspectives and personalities, I get energized. However, when I test I test (man... I just told another ENFP this in another thread who wondered if they were INFP) close to the introverted line. My introverted side is fairly developed. So... I'm definitely still ENFP. Sometimes I decide to stay home instead of going to a party. If someone gets me to go to the party or my sense of duty gets me out of the house and over to the party, then I usually enjoy it as long as I'm able to truly connect to the people there. Heck, if I'm really connecting with lots of people (and it has to be actually good connections, not small talk or even group dynamic) then I want to stay and stay and stay and maybe help clean up after. If the quality of the interactions wasn't as good or for some reason made me reflect on who I am or if I let something someone affect me negatively (self judged) then I'm liable to try to connect with someone else even then to feel better and get energy and perspective OR maybe I will retreat somewhere to mend or get home. But usually it does take someone trying to drag me out. So that sometimes makes me feel more introverted. But then just yesterday I decided I'd find out how my friends did talking to each other with me not asking a bunch of questions. I figured I'd find out how they steered the conversation. I got them going and then I dropped out. Well.... that didn't last long. There were long pauses of nothing and everyone felt uncomfortable, so I got them going easily again. It made me realize that my skills are needed. They don't always realize that I'm doing this and including everyone and steering everyone, but I realized it the other day and it is valuable.
Also writing this and writing in general..... all the artistic stuff.... it's all introverted but it uses everything I learn from the outside world. Plus Te is definitely my tert and Si in last place. Not the other way around.

Oh sorry, I think I got answering that other person's question who wondered if they were INFP.
My BIG answer for you.... .it's the QUALITY of the connection. How deep the connection. I'm not just extroverted for extroversion's sake. I'm no ESFP. I want connections and deep ones and if I get them with people= awesome. If I get them from movies or from books = awesome. I'm looking for meaning. So... I would figure for you that maybe you have a few people you connect with very strongly? Otherwise more strongly from books? Or maybe you want to give your love and connection through expression and creation.
 

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As an example of what could be perceived as introversion, I always said that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. I never needed/wanted to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. People thought I was totally crazy and unrealistic in this regard, but I held my ground. (Glad they were wrong!)
 

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I don't get exhausted to learn different perspectives and personalities, I get energized. However, when I test I test (man... I just told another ENFP this in another thread who wondered if they were INFP) close to the introverted line. My introverted side is fairly developed. So... I'm definitely still ENFP. Sometimes I decide to stay home instead of going to a party. If someone gets me to go to the party or my sense of duty gets me out of the house and over to the party, then I usually enjoy it as long as I'm able to truly connect to the people there. Heck, if I'm really connecting with lots of people (and it has to be actually good connections, not small talk or even group dynamic) then I want to stay and stay and stay and maybe help clean up after. If the quality of the interactions wasn't as good or for some reason made me reflect on who I am or if I let something someone affect me negatively (self judged) then I'm liable to try to connect with someone else even then to feel better and get energy and perspective OR maybe I will retreat somewhere to mend or get home. But usually it does take someone trying to drag me out. So that sometimes makes me feel more introverted. But then just yesterday I decided I'd find out how my friends did talking to each other with me not asking a bunch of questions. I figured I'd find out how they steered the conversation. I got them going and then I dropped out. Well.... that didn't last long. There were long pauses of nothing and everyone felt uncomfortable, so I got them going easily again. It made me realize that my skills are needed. They don't always realize that I'm doing this and including everyone and steering everyone, but I realized it the other day and it is valuable.
Also writing this and writing in general..... all the artistic stuff.... it's all introverted but it uses everything I learn from the outside world. Plus Te is definitely my tert and Si in last place. Not the other way around.

Oh sorry, I think I got answering that other person's question who wondered if they were INFP.
My BIG answer for you.... .it's the QUALITY of the connection. How deep the connection. I'm not just extroverted for extroversion's sake. I'm no ESFP. I want connections and deep ones and if I get them with people= awesome. If I get them from movies or from books = awesome. I'm looking for meaning. So... I would figure for you that maybe you have a few people you connect with very strongly? Otherwise more strongly from books? Or maybe you want to give your love and connection through expression and creation.
yeah, what she said. Quality of the connection. c:
 

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I don't prefer to be alone or to be fine in my own company. I'd prefer to have deep and meaningful connections with other humans, but when the quality of human is lacking I'd much rather just be in my own thoughts/ideas than to listen to engage with people I have no desire in exerting or wasting energy on.
 
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My Enfp best friend told me that he had always been a loner until he met me (he is actually a quite older person.) He likes people very much, falls in love with them briefly when he meets them sometimes, but still prefers to be a lone wolf. It's a different story with us, there is never enough time to be able to spend together. He wonders why we didn't get to meet sooner, but what a blessing our relationship is - I am grateful.
 

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i am an infp and maybe most of the time i prefer my own Company bcz i think i would enjoy myself And dive into whatever i want to. But i think if u dnt listen to whatever way ur innerself wants to get recharge,, it gets distrbed
 
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