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Like the subject says, why is Fi so fragile? It seems that it only exists to get crushed, smashed, crumbled and hurt. I know there are good sides to it, but it seems that it causes more problems than otherwise. My nephew is definitely Fi, and possibly ISFP, and his life is quite a mess, because he is so afraid of everything. I've learned how to overcome many of my fears--but that's exactly what I had to do--overcome them. I look at my wife and kids, and they don't have anywhere near the problems I have had, both growing up, and as an adult. You read all the threads here, and it sure seems that Fi is more a hindrance than a help, and as I ponder it, I begin to wonder just _why_ this is... Any thoughts?
 

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Yea I know what you mean. I think Fi-dom tend to give themselves a hard time, and they tend to create obstacles or emotional problems for themselves.

Like me, I don't talk much, and I prefer solving problems on my own, which is probably why I get called independent. During times when I am fucked up and depressed and emotional, I really want to be left alone. It's also hard to talk about it in the right way (whatever the word right means).

I make all the judgements on my own, because I hate relying on others to decide things for me, and I don't like others telling me what to do. Sometimes life circumstances clashes with my own preference. Then I become indecisive or unhappy about decisions. Either making the right decision makes me feel upset in some way or making the wrong/stupid decision makes me suffer from consequences. Even worse, I might start questioning myself, and I would rethink about certain situation in my head over and over again and dwell on a particular thing I feel unhappy about.

I can get stubborn, and I think Fi makes it easy to be unhealthy. Like Se can make you indulge unhealthy food or make you addicted to TV, and Fi can make you mentally unhealthy in a similar way.

Fi is subjective value. We form our own. We act and live in our own way, I feel. Sometimes I have unrealistic expectation about myself, or I don't really like to compromise on things easily because it makes me feel upset afterwards. Or I simply don't quite fit in groups a lot of times.

When the Fi-dom are not mature, and they prefer to deal things on their own in their own way, it is easy for them to get unhealthy, unhealthy thought and thought process. I have weak Te, which is another problem, because I don't quite want to live in a Te way even though I know that it will help me accomplish a lot more in life and just allow me to let go of unhealthy thoughts, and it's hard for me to have a good use of Te.

I have fears, too, over different things, and I feel like a coward. As you said, they have to be overcome, and I have overcome certain fears, but still a lot to work on. We can go through lots of psychological problems at early age than average people, but once we overcome, we grow a lot.

Hope it says something.
 

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I agree, it does make us fragile and vulnerable. But on the plus side, we are sensitive, and can appropriate the beauty in life. I think developing the extroverted functions is probably a good starting point to making ISFP less vulnerable to getting hurt.
 

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I agree, it does make us fragile and vulnerable. But on the plus side, we are sensitive, and can appropriate the beauty in life. I think developing the extroverted functions is probably a good starting point to making ISFP less vulnerable to getting hurt.
Te would do that. Se can't.
 

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Te would do that. Se can't.
Yeah I suppose Te is the only one that we can actually defend ourselves with as such.

But using Se could perhaps help, just because Se is focused externally and doesn't overly analyse things as Fi may. Might help to shrug things off and get on with having fun.

I don't feel right when I use Te either. I can do it, and sometimes I do it without meaning to. But I usually feel bad after.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Te would do that. Se can't.
Yeah, Se seems to exaggerate the vulnerability of Fi... But, on the other hand, if I can get alone, and "indulge" my Se, that also frequently helps, so maybe there is some truth to developing Se to help Fi... I dunno...

And maybe that was my original question--how to make Fi less vulnerable... ;-)
 

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If he's afraid of everything he may be a phobic enneagram 6, and please be absolutely certain that he's not a very young ISFJ; young Si doms can be overly cautious, afraid to experience anything that is out of their "comfort zone" or "norm." I've had a grown ISTJ tell me I was "crazy" for staying in youth hostels, taking spontaneous trips, etc.

That being said, I still think ISFPs like being comfortable. I very much prioritize my comfort and privacy, so even when I travel or try new things, I still don't want to be thrown in to some truly dangerous, ugly or dirty situation if at all possible; I'll take risks, but they are risks that usually involve a clean bed, a nearby shower, and a pointed absence of rapists and axe murderers. True outlandish risk taking with embracing the thrill of mess and danger seems more likely for the ESxP than the ISFP.

I was watching the horror movie Hatchet for the first time last night, and I very much related to one of the main characters; in the beginning he gets quickly bored of the usual Mardi Gras excess (people puking and making out with strangers) and instead wants a more "comfortable" or aesthetic sort of thrill: he wants to take a haunted tour, and he's willing to do it alone. He still wants to experience something cool, but he wants it more tailored to his Fi need for aesthetics rather than outrageous experience for experience's sake (I also just want to add here as well that "commercial Mardi Gras" really has little to do with traditional historical Mardi Gras, anyway, which involved feasting and drinking, yes, and dancing and so forth before Lent, but wasn't quite as plastic and destructive as what a lot of New Orleans tourists now seek, which resembles a Vegas experience more than traditional French cultural Mardi Gras).

I think young Fi types are more sensitive too because their values they equate with WHO THEY (WE) ARE, so it makes us more angry or upset or hurt or whatever than an Fe type who does not necessarily equate their values with the very essence of their being or individuality.
 

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Maybe it's the Fi being the main function right under the surface nothing sheilds us.We have to learn how to protect ourselves or overcome it.

The not wanting to lead or give advice I understand you don't want the responsablity if if doesn't work you.If it does you don't wnat too much credit because you don't wan to lead.You wantt o help but in your own way.

Maybe it's why many of us prefer animals and nature.We find the beauty of it and no judgement.
 

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Because it helps me learn. I tend to feel like I can't really know something for sure until I experience it. Therefore, I must be sensitive to anything, unbiasedly, until I understand it, not just mentally, but spiritually too, I.e., I must learn to appreciate things as well, or think of them in ge best possible terms. After that, I will build up my own resistances and internal pathways according to this that and the other reason (safety, morality, practicality, justification, humanity), but probably still be willing to let it down if I become unsure again.

I like to know things for myself. I will change my perspective as often as I need to, be willing to feel whatever is there to be felt, until everything comes together just right.

This is a very 6-ish topic.

Also, Fi-Ni loopy, I think.

For the record, I do not consider myself hindered, though looking at my life in the world's terms, I suppose most would daily it was. But I feel strong, willing, and content. Pained by Fi, yeah sure, but hindered by it, only if I let myself see it that way because I'm so worried about what everyone else thinks (which is easy to do).

We all feel pain. I feel blessed to know that I do feel it, and often how. The people who are in pain and don't know it are the most to be pitied. How do they help themselves? They usually need lots of help, though they don't usually know that either! :p Thus they particularly seek out the company of others (think Type 2s) subconsciously or under other pretenses, to be happy and are known as Fe users, or that's my best guess, pardon me if I'm wrong, and, in all the objectivity of Fe, are quite willing to equally return the favor to others in the same predicament. In fact, the more they do return the favor, the more they expect it in return. Because that makes sense to them. And, objectively speaking, yes it does. So, they can seem to have very high expectations, which on a societal level come upon the rest of us as terrible, unfeeling, one-size-fits-all standards of oppression that aren't willing to give more than they take, nor take more than they give: they don't feel their own way through things: they trust how they are meant to feel. At their worst, they are obsessed with equality and rituals, fairness, which can easily leads to incurable rage and jealousy and lack of adaptation, with some pouting, manipulation, neediness, and selfishness (all of which are qualities Fi can take on through different processes and different appearances).

Objective feeling... What does that even mean, differentially, I wonder? I kind of just went through it, but I can't describe it by itself, in a neutral manner. Maybe because I'm not objective enough, in my feelings towards it. I can't be kind enough to represent it fairly for the reader. Probably. Because I'm Fi. I can say how I feel about it, or what there is to know about it from what I can tell, but I in no way can represent a decent one-size way for a group to feel about it. So that's one good quality in Fe people. They are so darn good with people. They can lead people. Teach them. Group them. Change them. For good or for evil. That's a lot of power.
 

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Just experienced it a moment ago. Actually everyday maybe hahahaha. But i do feel that my feeling so fragile even to the smallest thing that maybe to others nothing. For ex, my co-worker, an ESTP i assume, was doing a turning down radio volume when my voice get a little louder. I understand that i was using my earphone so i dun realize my loud voice might had disturbed the quiet room, but i just think she can just tell me if my voice get too louder, not just silently doing such gesture to me, that made me feel like i'm a radio. Sigh. Fi....

Soooo, then i encourage myself by sending her a text message just to tell that (tho she is practically sitting beside me, just because this topic a little bit sensitive :p). I just wanna be brave to tell other people what i like and dun like. She said, "haha okay" and i feel bad. i feel like she might avoiding me after this, and left me wonder, wasn't i supposed to be the hurt side then i have this thought she might avoiding me and making me like the bad one hahaha. Complicated >.<.
 

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I think Fi-dom tend to give themselves a hard time, and they tend to create obstacles or emotional problems for themselves.
The ISFP has seemed to me,
Fi - Private world, might share if/when they feel safe or a need or something.
Se - A realistic observation of the "now". Nothing to say about it so much.

0 + 0 = Nothing really to talk about
 

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I wonder if it's because it's practically the essence of taking things personally. I find it does help me to get the worst of it out of my system by talking to my husband or closest friend if appropriate (I do have to be careful not to pass negativity on to them), writing semi obscured poetry, or even just free writing in code or other very private form. Once I've been able to articulate the issue, I feel like I can find a Se way to fight it.
 

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Fi is only a hindrance if you make it a hindrance .
 

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The ISFP has seemed to me,
Fi - Private world, might share if/when they feel safe or a need or something.
Se - A realistic observation of the "now". Nothing to say about it so much.

0 + 0 = Nothing really to talk about
Wait are you talking about me, or ISFPs?

But anyway that's SO... I relate to that so much. I don't exactly agree with the literal part, and it's not that absolute. 1) I still talk about feeling sometimes, 2) If I have experienced something great earlier that day, I would still feel happy/excited to talked about it with people. The now can be interesting, too, but it doesn't mean I am going to talk about it. The present moment is... something for you to feel and absorb. If it is readily absorbable, then why would I talk about it? If you don't absorb it, why and what can I possibly say to you.
 

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Weird, because I'm an ISFP girl, and my Fi-dom is really well-developed. While I'm certainly very sensitive and passionate about my personal beliefs, rarely do I ever break down in tears or get overly emotional. The only times I break down are when I feel really stressed out, deal with personal loss, or feel personally disrespected by those who were supposed to be my allies. I think on average, I cry maybe 1-4 times a year. Maybe, my Ni and Te are well-developed, or maybe I'm one of those feelers with solid control of my emotions.
 

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I envy how Fe can connect with others, also romantically. Fi gives vulnerability and self - concentration (read: alienation in practice)
Yeah, I've noticed that too. We as Fi-Se-Ni types tend to not feel the need to put work into a creating and maintaining a relationship unless we feel an automatic spark in it, and a potential for a long-term relationship that offers growth.
 

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Te would do that. Se can't.
Indeed, just as my Ne can make me less vulnerable, as in my only way out to break a Fi-Si loop and focus on different aspects and future possibilities in life, Se could I believe make one shrug off the vulnerable feelings and immense in the immediate sensual pleasure or take the focus on -now-

-When the leading role process is an introverted one, the supporting role process is extraverted and may be quite active and visible as it provides a way of dealing with the outer world.-

Ne for me, Se for ISFPs
 

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I don't know , perhaps it's bc I'm not Fi dom but I don't feel fragile - quite the opposite even my Ti dom husband is more emotionally fragile than I am - I would think Fi would be less fragile bc you understand and control your emotions better ; either that or my Ne is overload :)


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