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Either you've never experienced love, or you're trying to lie to yourself.


Love and infatuation are not the same thing. Love is not about being obsessed with someone, it's about finding perfect harmony with another person. Infatuation is obsessing over a guy in a boy band, and buying all their merchandise while saying that you two are soul mates.
 

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Mmmmm,
I think it's because it is something that makes people feel genuinely good. Which is like the above commentator had said, you seem to not have experienced it or are fooling yourself.
 

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Romantic love is a sickness but damned pleasant one! :p
 

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@Helvetica Because our orientation isn't the only one.

Only 1-5% of the population is asexual, and I would assume that a similar fraction of the population are aromantic. Even just going by the simplest orientation breakdown, that still leaves 95-99% are either hetero-, homo-, or biromantic. If those orientations don't make sense to you, then I assure you that ours doesn't make sense to them either.
 

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Aromantic is a possibility for people who don't genuinely understand romance?
 

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Aromantic is a word used to describe a person who does not experience romantic attraction. Because of this, aromantic people often do not sympathize with alloromantic people's romantic attractions and desires for romance. A person not understanding romance is not necessarily aromantic, and a person who is aromantic does not necessarily misunderstand romance or romantic drives.

I wouldn't say romantic love is just obsessing over someone, but I do confess that I think some societies place far too much importance on romantic relationships, to the extent of sacrificing other kinds of relationships. America is like this. The term for seeing romance as the best relationship and the only relationship worth seeking in your life and assuming everyone wants such a relationship is amatonormativity.
 

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Because the feeling you have when in love, at least at the beginning stages which are represented by infatuation and attachment are unlike any other overwhelming feeling you've ever had for another person. It isn't seen simply as "good" either. If a group of friends were standing around talking and one friend said "I'm in love..." while frowning I'm positive most, if not all, of those friends would understand the implications of being in love.

 

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It is seen as good because it makes people content and family units more stable, which is good for society.
 

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There's all kinds of love and they all have special purposes, but nothing can compare to romantic love when I need a raging boner.
 

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There's all kinds of love and they all have special purposes, but nothing can compare to romantic love when I need a raging boner.
Just made the mistake of googlin an "ALL THE PUSSIES" meme, lmao

 

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I'm genuinely asking and interested
It's the same as seeing the cover page of a book and thinking that the book is probably an interesting book, but after reading the book, you realized that the book isn't as interesting as you thought it is. Did I describe your feelings correctly? Clever me.

It's normal to feel this way. But someday, when you met a person you feel a deep connection with, I believe you might end up changing your opinion. Have you ever met a person whom you totally felt in sync with, and both of you have a deep unspoken connection and can easily communicate without any words? Once you meet this person someday, you might just change your opinion. Perhaps the book is an interesting book afterall, it's all about how you view the book, and not the book itself.
 

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Love is not about being obsessed with someone, it's about finding perfect harmony with another person. Infatuation is obsessing over a guy in a boy band, and buying all their merchandise while saying that you two are soul mates.
Pretty much this. The word 'love' gets confused in my many different ways. If you ever have a family and grow old with another person, you'll eventually end up looking at them one day all wrinkled and on the verge of death, truly understanding what it means to love.
 

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Why is (romantic) love seen as something good? it's just obsessing over someone
I'm genuinely asking and interested
how did you know and how sure you are that romantic love is equivalent to obsession?

people are quite mistaking that love = obsession. but that's completely wrong. the two was exactly different from each other. they have quite different and opposing meaning. it just happened that when two people considered themselves as 'inlove' with each other they can become possessive, manipulative, and quite jealous - that's obsession. and obsession was rooted from "passion" alone, and passion is equivalent to just "physical attraction". when a person was obsessed, he was indeed "infatuated" ONLY. bcoz infatuation is the result of the extreme attraction towards someone which can cause that certain 'obsession'. LOVE, on the other hand is way too DEEP to be described in a shallow way like that. its not limited to passion alone.
LOVE = passion+commitment+intimacy. i'm not defining subjectively, it was according to Sternberg's theory.

if one or both person in a relationship was guilty of that above mentioned negative reactions, then it was cleared that they're in a false belief that they we're 'in-love' bcoz in fact, LOVE is very trusting and always positive and unfortunately, they're not.

Also, "The difference between healthy and obsessive love is that with the latter, those feelings of infatuation become extreme, expanding to the point of becoming obsessions. Obsessive love and jealousy that is delusional is a symptom of mental-health problems and is a symptom that occurs in about 0.1% of adults."
source: Confusing Love With Obsession - MedicineNet

and i think this article would be a good read too: The Difference Between True Love and Unhealthy Obsession
 

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but it makes people really sad as well, hence the question
and most marriages end in a divorce so, is it really good?
It's not an end unto itself. I think the most unfortunate aspect of our current culture is an over value of romantic love. Romantic love is supposed to push two people together but it's not enough by itself if one or both people are extensively selfish, immature or lacking in morality.

That's why marriages end in divorce and why it makes people sad, because we walk around in our society, on average, in a state of perpetual emotional adolescence.

Did people also do this in some other cultures, yes, but in the United States it's become a cultural norm to place over importance on romantic love that isn't backed by either Pragma and or Agape (practical or spiritual love).

That's not to say long term couples shouldn't try to enjoy sex and romance, but if you think you can build a life on eros alone you won't get very far, all of your relationships will probably end in 2-10 years, ten being on the generous side for couples who have children together.

Romantic love is a wonderful thing that has its place, but it's not something that stays on constantly for fifty years.
 
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