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6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I highly suspect that my second ex is ISTJ, it sounds so much like him:

(ISTJ) RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES: Has difficulties with some social rituals. A strong need for privacy means they can be hard to fully understand. May find it to difficult to express emotional warmth and give praise or affirmation. May bottle up emotions over long periods and then erupt angrily.
True, he values a lot of privacy, he tends to bottle up emotions for too long and whenever he erupts angrily, it has surprised me and others.

ISTJ Strengths

* Honor their commitments
* Take their relationship roles very seriously
* Usually able to communicate what's on their minds with precision
* Good listeners
* Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
* Able to take constructive criticism well
* Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
* Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for

ISTJ Weaknesses

* Tendency to believe that they're always right
* Tendency to get involved in "win-lose" conversations
* Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
* Their value for structure may seem rigid to others
* Not likely to give enough praise or affirmation to their loved ones
Yes, he honors commitments even after they seem long gone, he is a good listener, he is good with money (hey he keeps his own financial book where he writes down his financial records o_O {sorry it's foreign and fascinating to an INFP}), and he sometimes tend to think that only he alone is right.

Here are a few reasons why it had been stormy with him;

For the ISTJ, love means commitment, steadiness, and consistency. ISTJs expect themselves and their mates to be responsible, practical, and dependable.
(Tip in being romantic with ISTJ) Avoid showy displays of affection and romantic gestures such as bouquets of flowers. You'll meet with more success by keeping the conversation practical and the activities simple and cost-effective.
They also have a strong preference for an orderly process, proceeding from step a to b to c and on to d. This makes them resistant to change and innovation, idealizing and brainstorming. In that many are drawn to accounting and banking professions, facts are what are meaningful and not similes, metaphors or symbolism. They may, in fact, be somewhat suspicious of the abstract realm - if, indeed, to them, such a realm exists.
They love clarity and consistency, and often shun unexpected changes or disorganization.

Key words are clarity and consistency.

I can be so hopelessly unclear :unsure: and I am not that consistent, lol! I like to be random, I like idealized changes and I like to express myself in abstract terms.

Yes, I know he values a stable, consistent, solid sort of security that won't have changes without warning him. But well, you know what it's like for an INFP!

I was so good at the showy gestures of affections, but I suppose a lot of times I wasn't being practical. Arghhhhh.

6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
It helps that he's looked at me before like I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet. I like the spark in his eyes and laughter, so pure and says the most about him than he can ever portray in words or actions.

6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So I think it's possible for an INFP and ISTJ to do well together... it just requires good communication skills, patience, each of the two knowing themselves, and a desire to work together as a team in their basic approach to life.




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