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By Bob Vulfov

[HR][/HR] Whenever I introduce myself to a woman, I always make sure to slip in the fact that I am a very nice guy. I then proceed to repeat that fact any time there’s a pause in conversation. I think it’s important to constantly remind women how nice I am. How else will they be able to figure out that I am such a good, kind man?

I volunteer once a month, and bring a professional photographer along so I can get high-quality Tinder photos of me ladling soup or whatever. Whenever I see an elderly woman about to cross the street, I offer to assist her, and immediately ask if she has a hot granddaughter with whom she’d like to set me up. I always agree to help my friends move, and then spend the entire time flexing in the hallway in case a female neighbor walks by. And I do it all nicely, because I am nice and so are the things that I do.

I also constantly befriend women with the sole intention of slowly manipulating the friendship into a romantic relationship. Don’t get me wrong—I do act like a good friend, for as long as it helps further my long-term goals. Did I mention that I am a nice man? So why, then, do women still act like they don’t owe me a chance at romance? Do they not realize how nice I am? Did I not act like a good friend for at least a few minutes? Do they not understand that I’d be a good person to date because of those two reasons?

When one of my female friends recently went through a rough breakup and needed to talk to someone, I was there. I thoughtfully listened to her and offered compassionate advice based on my own experiences with heartbreak. As my friend hugged me and thanked me for supporting her in such a difficult time, I saw the perfect opportunity to ask her out.

“How about dating a nice guy like me for once?” I asked her with my nice mouth. Sure, I destroyed our friendship. And, yes, I hijacked her moment of emotional vulnerability to satisfy my own needs. But that does not make me a bad guy! What the heck happened to all that goodwill I built up by momentarily offering my shoulder to cry on?

If, for some strange reason, women decide that they don’t want to pursue a relationship with me, the nicest man in the world, then I feel that I am owed a detailed explanation. You see, unlike most guys, I’m a big feminist. And, as a feminist, I believe that women should be empowered to date nice guys like me. Specifically, they should date me.

It’s pretty clear that the only reason women wouldn’t want to date me is because I am too good of a guy. What else could explain it? Yes, I lack any discernible passions or interests. I own two motorcycles, but no plates. My apartment is technically a “condemned meat locker.” But it’s definitely my extreme niceness that drives women away.
 

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Does the New Yorker always have shit like this out.
Boo hoo i'm a nice guy, i'm totes feminist, why no women fuck me boo fucking hoo.
This is the sort of shit people write on here though perhaps with better grammar, why would they rubber stamp this pity party?
Pretty sure it’s satirizing “ the shit people write here.”
 

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"I'm a really nice guy." Lame. And interjecting it at every possible moment? You don't say "I am nice." You talk about your achievements in nicety. How else will a girl know you are telling the truth or if she thinks you are nice or not. Just telling her you're nice is not going to make her think so. I mean there's an adage that goes "nice guys finish last." So by saying, "i'm a nice guy." you are essentially saying, "I am a loser." And a creepy one at that.
 

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Does the New Yorker always have shit like this out.
Boo hoo i'm a nice guy, i'm totes feminist, why no women fuck me boo fucking hoo.
This is the sort of shit people write on here though perhaps with better grammar, why would they rubber stamp this pity party?
Pretty sure it’s satirizing “ the shit people write here.”
You are both correct: It is a satire, and the ideas behind a satirical piece can still make for a rather shitty pity party that doesn't compete with some of the lowest quality posts here.
 

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"I'm a really nice guy." Lame. And interjecting it at every possible moment? You don't say "I am nice." You talk about your achievements in nicety. How else will a girl know you are telling the truth or if she thinks you are nice or not. Just telling her you're nice is not going to make her think so. I mean there's an adage that goes "nice guys finish last." So by saying, "i'm a nice guy." you are essentially saying, "I am a loser." And a creepy one at that.
Hey that's not true. I'm a really nice guy.

@Tropes
Point me towards these posts. Wait, lemme grab some popcorn first...
 

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From personal experience most guys( not all) who claimed that they are nice aren't that nice- but rather desperate ..nice guys are more humble

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
 

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newyorker.com

By Bob Vulfov

[HR][/HR] Whenever I introduce myself to a woman, I always make sure to slip in the fact that I am a very nice guy. I then proceed to repeat that fact any time there’s a pause in conversation. I think it’s important to constantly remind women how nice I am. How else will they be able to figure out that I am such a good, kind man?

I volunteer once a month, and bring a professional photographer along so I can get high-quality Tinder photos of me ladling soup or whatever. Whenever I see an elderly woman about to cross the street, I offer to assist her, and immediately ask if she has a hot granddaughter with whom she’d like to set me up. I always agree to help my friends move, and then spend the entire time flexing in the hallway in case a female neighbor walks by. And I do it all nicely, because I am nice and so are the things that I do.

I also constantly befriend women with the sole intention of slowly manipulating the friendship into a romantic relationship. Don’t get me wrong—I do act like a good friend, for as long as it helps further my long-term goals. Did I mention that I am a nice man? So why, then, do women still act like they don’t owe me a chance at romance? Do they not realize how nice I am? Did I not act like a good friend for at least a few minutes? Do they not understand that I’d be a good person to date because of those two reasons?

When one of my female friends recently went through a rough breakup and needed to talk to someone, I was there. I thoughtfully listened to her and offered compassionate advice based on my own experiences with heartbreak. As my friend hugged me and thanked me for supporting her in such a difficult time, I saw the perfect opportunity to ask her out.

“How about dating a nice guy like me for once?” I asked her with my nice mouth. Sure, I destroyed our friendship. And, yes, I hijacked her moment of emotional vulnerability to satisfy my own needs. But that does not make me a bad guy! What the heck happened to all that goodwill I built up by momentarily offering my shoulder to cry on?

If, for some strange reason, women decide that they don’t want to pursue a relationship with me, the nicest man in the world, then I feel that I am owed a detailed explanation. You see, unlike most guys, I’m a big feminist. And, as a feminist, I believe that women should be empowered to date nice guys like me. Specifically, they should date me.

It’s pretty clear that the only reason women wouldn’t want to date me is because I am too good of a guy. What else could explain it? Yes, I lack any discernible passions or interests. I own two motorcycles, but no plates. My apartment is technically a “condemned meat locker.” But it’s definitely my extreme niceness that drives women away.
This whole Nice Guy™ meme needs to die for so many reasons.

1. Virtually nobody is the level of manipulative sociopath that these sort of articles imply.

2. Even in the rare cases where such a person would exist they would never employ the, "nice guy" strategy because literally everyone knows that women aren't attracted to it. The whole idiotic logic here makes no sense. Manipulative guys make sure NOT to act nice because they know acting nice negatively correlates to getting laid.

3. This meme just makes guys want to act MORE and MORE like assholes because they know women won't date them if they act too nice because they will be perceived as a Nice Guy™.

4. This whole meme is just a way for women to justify rejecting otherwise good men they find ugly and getting with attractive men who are assholes. They can just say, "that other guy was also a asshole because he's such a Nice Guy™. Which may be true 10% of the time, but 90% of the time he actually is a nice guy, just ugly. Women need to just be willing to admit they don't want to date the ugly dude and stop trying to find reasons that make no sense to justify that fact. It's not that hard, men have no trouble admitting they want big tits and a tight pussy so why do women struggle to admit they want a big dick and tight abs/ass?

5. By this logic what is an ugly person even supposed to do? If they put in minimal effort they will get rejected for a better looking guy, but if they put in more effort they will be rejected for being a Nice Guy™. It's a total Catch-22. Sure I guess the point is ugly dudes should just date ugly chicks and know their place instead of trying hard to date a girl they are actually attracted to.

Does the New Yorker always have shit like this out.
Boo hoo i'm a nice guy, i'm totes feminist, why no women fuck me boo fucking hoo.
This is the sort of shit people write on here though perhaps with better grammar, why would they rubber stamp this pity party?
Dude, are you serious right now? It's in the HUMOR section..
 
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Mr. Anderson said:
3. This meme just makes guys want to act MORE and MORE like assholes because they know women won't date them if they act too nice because they will be perceived as a Nice Guy™.
That seems to be the common perception, but asshole and Nice Guy (tee-ehm) are actually on the same polar side of the spectrum. Nice Guy TeeEhms are assholes. They are just passive assholes. And they deserve to be ridiculed, blue-balled, dumped, and treated like subhuman scum.
 

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That seems to be the common perception, but asshole and Nice Guy (tee-ehm) are actually on the same polar side of the spectrum. Nice Guy TeeEhms are assholes. They are just passive assholes. And they deserve to be ridiculed, blue-balled, dumped, and treated like subhuman scum.
They're also virtually non-existent, that's my real point. They are a strawman used to justify dating the aggressive asshole by saying that other guys are just passive assholes. It's basically the standard fare of making all men out to be sex-obsessed and that their every action is somehow designed to get a woman into bed with them.
 
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