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(Also posted this in the ISTP forum, we all know how much those guys love to talk about relationship problems...)
My ISTP boyfriend's ex keeps sniffing around and he won't tell her to bugger off. I'd tell her off myself, but he doesn't want me "to be mean to her" and I don't feel that it's my place anyway (plus I hate having enemies).
I know she's still into him, because she told him she wanted to see him a few months ago and do things that "your girlfriend wouldn't like
" and still sends him flirtatious messages.
He says he's told her nicely that it isn't going to happen because he's with me now and that he's not the guy for her, but she clearly hasn't gotten the picture. He also says that they're friends, that she's nice and that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But he won't even write back that he's with his girlfriend when she asks what he's doing!
They only dated shortly and it was years ago. I don't really feel threatened by her, I know it's me he wants, I just want him to stand up to her and any other girls prowling my territory who will undoubtedly show up in the future. We've had a few fights over this and he knows that it bothers me a lot. I feel really hurt that he won't tell her to back off once and for all.
Am I way off base here for wanting him to tell his "friend" to get lost? What should I do? :sad:
My ISTP boyfriend's ex keeps sniffing around and he won't tell her to bugger off. I'd tell her off myself, but he doesn't want me "to be mean to her" and I don't feel that it's my place anyway (plus I hate having enemies).
I know she's still into him, because she told him she wanted to see him a few months ago and do things that "your girlfriend wouldn't like
He says he's told her nicely that it isn't going to happen because he's with me now and that he's not the guy for her, but she clearly hasn't gotten the picture. He also says that they're friends, that she's nice and that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But he won't even write back that he's with his girlfriend when she asks what he's doing!
They only dated shortly and it was years ago. I don't really feel threatened by her, I know it's me he wants, I just want him to stand up to her and any other girls prowling my territory who will undoubtedly show up in the future. We've had a few fights over this and he knows that it bothers me a lot. I feel really hurt that he won't tell her to back off once and for all.
Am I way off base here for wanting him to tell his "friend" to get lost? What should I do? :sad: