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730 Posts
Don't get offended. Merely an observation from an introverted thinker (ixtx). I don't think other types will necessarily agree.
1. You guys fall easily....And its intimidating.
Because you guys are very emotional, you can kind of linger on past relationships or dating experiences. But you also are opportunists and that can be even more worrying. I hear about the many crushes ENFPs experience, from first person experience and from internet forums and that ain't reassuring in a relationship. Despite the trust and the fact its natural to be attracted to people even while in a relationship, their openness about it, the social life of an ENFP and their emotions when in times of distress (such as a fight in the relationship) can make the other person worry, despite how much the other person may rationalize it.
2. They get moody and don't mind being stuck in a mood.
Was the sex really that bad? Did I say something? Are you tired? Are you thinking about space and time and just realized you're nothing? What the fuck just happened? And why did it happen while I'm with you right after that awkward thing? Sure, there's awkward shit in relationships, but awkward shit is a momentum to move the relationship bit by bit forward to get to know each other right? With the ENFP, they're thinking about something without necessarily doing anything to fix it. They'll tell you nothings wrong and that may be the case, they could very well be tired. But then how the hell am i supposed to distinguish between when you're actually upset and when you're just tired from a long day?
3. They make grand romantic gestures.
Okay this is all good. I like that they show they care this way. The only reason why this makes an ENFP hard to date is that it requires care on a basis of initiation rather than passive circumstance. As an introverted thinker (and maybe this is only a problem for introverted thinkers alone), grand romantic gestures aren't realistic relationship behavior and can't be maintained over a long basis. Also they aren't naturally the way I show care. I show care much more through support and loyalty which is reliant really just on time spent. The grand romantic gestures make the relationship live much more on a sentimental backbone, and I do appreciate them, but for an introverted thinker this means something needs to be actively reciprocated back to show you also care and it can be hard for them to think in terms of "grandiose romantic gestures".
4. ENFPs can be passive aggressive.
You're late one time, they'll be even later the next. You may say something about what you observed about them that makes them feel insecure. You meant to say it because you like that about them. But they don't see it that way and won't admit to it, so they'll say something to try and make you feel insecure. I kinda like that about you guys though. Its funny.
5. Your needs can be intimidating.
You're idealistic and you're social. It can be hard (especially for introverted thinkers such as myself) to keep up and feel disappointed when we don't live up to the expectation. One of the reasons many of the ENFPs are attracted to introverts is the mystery that comes with being an introvert. ENFPs are curious and want to know more and will apply this to relationships, especially because they know that they get bored easily. They will ask you many deep and philosophical questions which you can appreciate but need time to answer well and it'll be asked all on the first few dates within a short span of time. They'll want stories with you, not experiences. They want their friends to like you, they don't want to be seen as a mess for dating a mess. I don't blame them, but as an introvert, it can be hard to keep up steady conversation with people you don't really care about yet have to impress for the other person. They want you to talk to them when you have nothing to say, and wont contribute because they want to hear you talk. They're very much physically affectionate and this can be another difficult thing to return if you're not really in touch with that side. You end up worrying if the ENFP likes you, or the opportunity you bring to having some idealistic relationship and start to question if you currently have fit in with this ideal/ the ENFPs needs.
6. You can be blunt.
Something I noticed that is interesting about ENFPs and which I actually like about them is that they can be blunt. How well they take bluntness themselves is a different question. This bluntness can come with an awkwardness the ENFP tends to possess. Because they value the personal integrity that comes with Fi they try to not hurt others feelings but also try and not be someone they're not. They can say things irresponsibly and feel bad later. This can pose a problem for sensitive people, but for the introverted thinker this can pose them another question, "its not hurting me, but was ENFP thinking about if it could?". Alot of introverted thinkers have a shield up and don't like the idea that something can hurt them or even may not feel it, but don't want to feel any less respected and this can make the introverted thinking types not know how to confront an ENFP who can also be sensitive.
Again, im not trying to insult the enfps out there.
1. You guys fall easily....And its intimidating.
Because you guys are very emotional, you can kind of linger on past relationships or dating experiences. But you also are opportunists and that can be even more worrying. I hear about the many crushes ENFPs experience, from first person experience and from internet forums and that ain't reassuring in a relationship. Despite the trust and the fact its natural to be attracted to people even while in a relationship, their openness about it, the social life of an ENFP and their emotions when in times of distress (such as a fight in the relationship) can make the other person worry, despite how much the other person may rationalize it.
2. They get moody and don't mind being stuck in a mood.
Was the sex really that bad? Did I say something? Are you tired? Are you thinking about space and time and just realized you're nothing? What the fuck just happened? And why did it happen while I'm with you right after that awkward thing? Sure, there's awkward shit in relationships, but awkward shit is a momentum to move the relationship bit by bit forward to get to know each other right? With the ENFP, they're thinking about something without necessarily doing anything to fix it. They'll tell you nothings wrong and that may be the case, they could very well be tired. But then how the hell am i supposed to distinguish between when you're actually upset and when you're just tired from a long day?
3. They make grand romantic gestures.
Okay this is all good. I like that they show they care this way. The only reason why this makes an ENFP hard to date is that it requires care on a basis of initiation rather than passive circumstance. As an introverted thinker (and maybe this is only a problem for introverted thinkers alone), grand romantic gestures aren't realistic relationship behavior and can't be maintained over a long basis. Also they aren't naturally the way I show care. I show care much more through support and loyalty which is reliant really just on time spent. The grand romantic gestures make the relationship live much more on a sentimental backbone, and I do appreciate them, but for an introverted thinker this means something needs to be actively reciprocated back to show you also care and it can be hard for them to think in terms of "grandiose romantic gestures".
4. ENFPs can be passive aggressive.
You're late one time, they'll be even later the next. You may say something about what you observed about them that makes them feel insecure. You meant to say it because you like that about them. But they don't see it that way and won't admit to it, so they'll say something to try and make you feel insecure. I kinda like that about you guys though. Its funny.
5. Your needs can be intimidating.
You're idealistic and you're social. It can be hard (especially for introverted thinkers such as myself) to keep up and feel disappointed when we don't live up to the expectation. One of the reasons many of the ENFPs are attracted to introverts is the mystery that comes with being an introvert. ENFPs are curious and want to know more and will apply this to relationships, especially because they know that they get bored easily. They will ask you many deep and philosophical questions which you can appreciate but need time to answer well and it'll be asked all on the first few dates within a short span of time. They'll want stories with you, not experiences. They want their friends to like you, they don't want to be seen as a mess for dating a mess. I don't blame them, but as an introvert, it can be hard to keep up steady conversation with people you don't really care about yet have to impress for the other person. They want you to talk to them when you have nothing to say, and wont contribute because they want to hear you talk. They're very much physically affectionate and this can be another difficult thing to return if you're not really in touch with that side. You end up worrying if the ENFP likes you, or the opportunity you bring to having some idealistic relationship and start to question if you currently have fit in with this ideal/ the ENFPs needs.
6. You can be blunt.
Something I noticed that is interesting about ENFPs and which I actually like about them is that they can be blunt. How well they take bluntness themselves is a different question. This bluntness can come with an awkwardness the ENFP tends to possess. Because they value the personal integrity that comes with Fi they try to not hurt others feelings but also try and not be someone they're not. They can say things irresponsibly and feel bad later. This can pose a problem for sensitive people, but for the introverted thinker this can pose them another question, "its not hurting me, but was ENFP thinking about if it could?". Alot of introverted thinkers have a shield up and don't like the idea that something can hurt them or even may not feel it, but don't want to feel any less respected and this can make the introverted thinking types not know how to confront an ENFP who can also be sensitive.
Again, im not trying to insult the enfps out there.
