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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I might need advice on this, it concerns friendship.
We are 3 ppl. A (INTP), B (ISTP) and me C (ENFP). A and B have been close friends since primary school. I recently got to know them in our classes together for a year now.

I enjoy their company a lot and when we talk with each other one on one, it gets pretty personal.

Recently me and A did something wrong, we hid from B so that we could talk to each other alone. Which broke a deal that was between A and B (I knew about it and I found it stupid). A also feels bad about him but he's trying to distract himself with work. And then there is me, wanting to make amends with B. I hate that I was insensitive to his feelings.

This is the last thing B wrote to me in our group chat :(
I just feel betrayed because i let you guys in my private server for what?
nothing
now please
just don't talk to me
Honestly I didn't even think it mattered to him but apparently it did and I know what we did is wrong and I just wanna make it up to B. So yeah, anyone got any advice? Am I written off as a friend forever? I'm sure he'll forgive A eventually but I've only known B for less than a year, so I don't think he'll ever let me near him again.

I've been trying to call him and text him. He reads it and does what I ask him to for schoolwork but no replies.

Teen college drama stuff, yep sorry if this is in a wrong place.
 

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We ISTP's don't like holding grudges, but that doesn't mean we are going to immediately accept someone back after being hurt. Your friend probably just needs some time to himself. We usually do the "forgive but don't forget" kind of thing, so unfortunately it might take some time to rebuild that trust again. Just depends on how bad the thing you and A did was and how it affected B.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We ISTP's don't like holding grudges, but that doesn't mean we are going to immediately accept someone back after being hurt. Your friend probably just needs some time to himself. We usually do the "forgive but don't forget" kind of thing, so unfortunately it might take some time to rebuild that trust again. Just depends on how bad the thing you and A did was and how it affected B.

I enjoy talking to A and to B but due to COVID we don't have physical classes anymore and have resorted to online chatting via Discord. These two have had their discord servers for years now and I just started recently because of them.
A has his own private server, that he invited me to and B has his own private server with A's sister that he never invited us to. This part is relevant. These guys are super introverted and private, but somehow they don't mind having me around to talk to.

Since this year I have been talking to A a lot more than usual. I still text and talk with B but not as much as I do with A. B noticed that me and A have been less active in our mutual servers because we had been conversing in our private server. B has been telling us to invite him to our private server, A gave the condition that he would if B invites A to B's private server.

A couple of days ago, B finally invited A to it. It was all good, they seemed to enjoy themselves but A acted differently for some reason. So I made a private voice channel for the two of us. B found out and got mad. Left the server and kicked us from his server. Last thing he said was what I sent above.
 

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Boaz & Jachin
ENTJ · LIE · VLFE 8w7 · 873 · So/Sp
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Will an ISTP ever forgive a betrayal?
Never, they will die on it, always seeking vengeance.
 

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It depends on the individual, rather than the type. Some are grudge holders who allow things to fester into rot and others, let things go.
 

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I enjoy talking to A and to B but due to COVID we don't have physical classes anymore and have resorted to online chatting via Discord. These two have had their discord servers for years now and I just started recently because of them.
A has his own private server, that he invited me to and B has his own private server with A's sister that he never invited us to. This part is relevant. These guys are super introverted and private, but somehow they don't mind having me around to talk to.

Since this year I have been talking to A a lot more than usual. I still text and talk with B but not as much as I do with A. B noticed that me and A have been less active in our mutual servers because we had been conversing in our private server. B has been telling us to invite him to our private server, A gave the condition that he would if B invites A to B's private server.

A couple of days ago, B finally invited A to it. It was all good, they seemed to enjoy themselves but A acted differently for some reason. So I made a private voice channel for the two of us. B found out and got mad. Left the server and kicked us from his server. Last thing he said was what I sent above.
It kind of sounds like he's upset about being left out. Try reaching out to him after a while, and in the future try finding ways to make him feel more included. If he doesn't want to talk yet then I wouldn't push him to - he will probably get over it eventually anyway.
 
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