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Dating an ISTJ for several months who’s going through a long period of stress at work. We have a long history of several years but this is the first we have really had the opportunity to date. Several relationship stressors occurred during a stressful time for him at work and he asked for space though he acknowledged I have been a great support to him. He wanted time to just get through work before the holidays. Instead of fighting him I insisted he take more time to figure out what he needs and wants with me and with work but also told him how much I do care. In our last conversation he assured me he cared for me too and wants a long term relationship otherwise he wouldn’t even be engaging at such a stressful time. He said he didn’t find it totally necessary to have zero contact but I think was relieved to get some distance. We have had some light texting but not everyday. In this day and age of ghosting and general lack of integrity in dating I can’t help but worry if we will ever talk again. What’s the chances this is just an ISTJ in stresss/withdrawal mode who will come back to me versus a permanent breakup? So much thanks in advance!
 

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May not be a universal ISTJ trait, but I've experienced this with an ISTJ spouse myself, and if you read through here some more, you will find others have as well.

Will he come back? If you don't creep him out or pester him; probably, most likely.

Question is, how will you feel if this happens again? life happens, work stress happens. It can't be avoided and it's not a choice...
 

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I'm not an ISTJ, but I've been dating one for ~3 years, and if yours is anything like mine then he'll say what he means and he won't lead you on unnecessarily. From what I understand, honesty & consistency is a pretty common (and very admirable!) ISTJ trait. I'd try to rein it in a little bit and let him have his time if he needs it, but don't worry a whole lot if you can ♥ I hope everything turns out okay for you two!
 

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I think it's very common with most introverts wanting some "time" and isolating themselves [not in the bad way], especially with INTJs and INTPs.
I very often do the same thing as your lover with my friends/family, that have a need to constantly be with me. The fact that I "isolate" myself from them, doesn't mean that I don't like them, after some time I do come back.
 

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I think it's very common with most introverts wanting some "time" and isolating themselves [not in the bad way], especially with INTJs and INTPs.
I very often do the same thing as your lover with my friends/family, that have a need to constantly be with me. The fact that I "isolate" myself from them, doesn't mean that I don't like them, after some time I do come back.
Thank you, that's very reassuring since I'm waiting for my guy to come back. When the period of stress is over, do you come back on your own, or do you wait for your friends/family to invite you back?
 

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I'd like to think he'll do the same. So when you "isolate" yourself, is there anything you welcome? Occasional check ins? Acts of love? Or would all these push you further into isolation? Is there anything that would get you to come back sooner?
 
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