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Discussion Starter #1
I'm quite certain a male collegue/friend of mine is an ISFP. He could be borderline ESFP. In any case, he used to initiate a lot of contact by calling, texting, instant messaging, emailing etc. Certain times he would inquire slyly if I was interested and by saying things such as "you rock my world" or "you're the best" or other complimentary phrases. This of course, led me to suspect he had taken an attraction to me but because he never came right out and admited it, I wasn't 100% sure. As of late, he has cooled off on the emailing and completly stopped the telephoning and instant messages. At the office he will still stop by and say hello once in a while and pay me a compliment here and there but not as often as before. I still feel there could be attraction by he is playing coy because I did not respond to him the way he had hoped when he was initating all those times? My question is, despite the long winded back-story is, are ISFP males the type to initate/re-initate contact with a girl they ware interested in? or do they prefer the girls to make the moves?
 

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It sounds like he was interested, but then stopped putting in a lot of effort since you weren't responding as he hoped, as you put it. The more interesting question is - why do you care? Are you interested in him romantically, or are you just curious about him now? I ask because he was clearly displaying interest, so if you were interested, why didn't you respond? To answer the other part of your question, they will initiate, but they will also probably appreciate a direct approach from a girl.
 

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I´d say they prefer the girl to make the move, but of course every ISFP is different...
 

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I feel like you should approach him. I'm more comfortable being approached. Then again, I'm a girl, & that's society's norm for us, but I bet it'd relieve some pressure off of him. I always feel bad that guys are kinda stuck with the duty of making the awkward advances!
 

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I will show interest, but if I don't get much back, I can't keep it going for too long. I just run out of emotional energy. I have attempted to make the opening moves a few times, but after spending so much energy on showing interest, and then burning out the next three months worth of energy on the approach, the inevitable rejection costs too much.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I will show interest, but if I don't get much back, I can't keep it going for too long. I just run out of emotional energy. I have attempted to make the opening moves a few times, but after spending so much energy on showing interest, and then burning out the next three months worth of energy on the approach, the inevitable rejection costs too much.
do you think this guy is doing something similar with putting feelers out there but unsure of where i stand based on my neutral reaction?
 

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@tragicgal It does sound an awful lot like the way I go about it, yes. The last time, I didn't realise she was actually interested in me until she literally took me by the hand and told me that she likes me. Much to the amusement of all my friends...
 

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As for me, I can be straightforward. I will tell a girl if I like her, or that i'm developing feelings for her.
I usually take my time getting to know them though. And yeah, maybe flirting a bit, or some subtle hints.
I can gauge how she feels based on her responses and go from there.
I'm fairly cautious though and it's usually a girl that I have to get to know first, at least for alittle bit.
After some time, and if things seem great, I'll let her know how I feel directly.
 

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I'm quite certain a male collegue/friend of mine is an ISFP. He could be borderline ESFP. In any case, he used to initiate a lot of contact by calling, texting, instant messaging, emailing etc. Certain times he would inquire slyly if I was interested and by saying things such as "you rock my world" or "you're the best" or other complimentary phrases. This of course, led me to suspect he had taken an attraction to me but because he never came right out and admited it, I wasn't 100% sure. As of late, he has cooled off on the emailing and completly stopped the telephoning and instant messages. At the office he will still stop by and say hello once in a while and pay me a compliment here and there but not as often as before. I still feel there could be attraction by he is playing coy because I did not respond to him the way he had hoped when he was initating all those times? My question is, despite the long winded back-story is, are ISFP males the type to initate/re-initate contact with a girl they ware interested in? or do they prefer the girls to make the moves?
When a guy texts you "You Rock My World" exactly what more do you want to get to understand that he probably likes you? He needs to say "You Rock My World and I really like you?" Does that really add any information?

If someone sends you a text that dramatic, try to nail him down by asking him something like "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like me?" There isn't a lot of wiggle room there. It's an objective scale question. If he answers 6 or lower, I think he is just a game player and probably you don't need to push your bet. But if he comes back with a 9 or 10 then - barring his being a liar - that's pretty strong indication of interest. You gave him a safe way to say what he has been trying to say, and give him some time to get up courage to ask you out.

If he doesn't get up courage to ask you out, then I guess you have to get up courage to give him hints like "You have been sending me a lot of compliments, did you want to ask me out?" That's kind of like hitting him on the head with the club, but some guys I guess they are really not confident and you have to do that.

At this point it seems to me you discouraged him. He gave you compliments and apparently you just read them and didn't return his positive energy in any way? So his interest is tapering off because the energy you send him says you are not interested.

At this point you could try something like "A month ago you were sending me a lot of compliments, and lately you haven't been. Were you trying to ask me out?" Try to sound confused like it is a real question for you. :)

Sorry, if the guy can't navigate something that blunt then he is probably hopelessly shy. You may have to ask him out, and I can't go there as to whether that is something that works for you.
 
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When a guy texts you "You Rock My World" exactly what more do you want to get to understand that he probably likes you? He needs to say "You Rock My World and I really like you?" Does that really add any information?
Hahaha :laughing:

But, yeah, I think you should show him you´re interested too. Why not start flirting with him? Or just start a conversation? Show some initiative. I don´t think it has to be much cause he seems to be initiative, you just have to respond. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #13
When a guy texts you "You Rock My World" exactly what more do you want to get to understand that he probably likes you? He needs to say "You Rock My World and I really like you?" Does that really add any information?

If someone sends you a text that dramatic, try to nail him down by asking him something like "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like me?" There isn't a lot of wiggle room there. It's an objective scale question. If he answers 6 or lower, I think he is just a game player and probably you don't need to push your bet. But if he comes back with a 9 or 10 then - barring his being a liar - that's pretty strong indication of interest. You gave him a safe way to say what he has been trying to say, and give him some time to get up courage to ask you out.

thanks @sereneone. you really gave me some good lines to work with there. actually he didn't text me YRMW, he said it to my face and i just blank stared with a forced smile since he has a reputation for being a flirt, i didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing.
As for your probably retorical question, yes, i do need a guy to come right out and say " btw i like you". Reading men not my forte i'm afraid.
theres a possibility that he is too shy to admit his feelings for me, ut it certainly does not explain his confidence in charming women the world over. His latest overture consisted of joking about about how strangers probably thought we were a couple.
anyway, i think he's right on the border of E and I but definitely SFP. Thoughts?
 

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When a guy texts you "You Rock My World" exactly what more do you want to get to understand that he probably likes you? He needs to say "You Rock My World and I really like you?" Does that really add any information?

If someone sends you a text that dramatic, try to nail him down by asking him something like "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like me?" There isn't a lot of wiggle room there. It's an objective scale question. If he answers 6 or lower, I think he is just a game player and probably you don't need to push your bet. But if he comes back with a 9 or 10 then - barring his being a liar - that's pretty strong indication of interest. You gave him a safe way to say what he has been trying to say, and give him some time to get up courage to ask you out.

thanks @sereneone. you really gave me some good lines to work with there. actually he didn't text me YRMW, he said it to my face and i just blank stared with a forced smile since he has a reputation for being a flirt, i didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing.
As for your probably retorical question, yes, i do need a guy to come right out and say " btw i like you". Reading men not my forte i'm afraid.
theres a possibility that he is too shy to admit his feelings for me, ut it certainly does not explain his confidence in charming women the world over. His latest overture consisted of joking about about how strangers probably thought we were a couple.
anyway, i think he's right on the border of E and I but definitely SFP. Thoughts?
Here is how I translate "...joking about about how strangers probably thought we were a couple." What he is really saying is "How do YOU feel about us being a couple?" He's testing the waters with you for that thought.

He's an odd boy. :) On one hand he says very bold things. On the other hand he seems a bit clueless. He is like the soldier who knows how to use a hand grenade, and then he just sits there and stares at the thing after he pulls a trigger.

He obviously likes you and obviously wants to date you, and I gave you some lines to help pull in the fish on your reel. :) Happy fly fishing. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Here is how I translate "...joking about about how strangers probably thought we were a couple." What he is really saying is "How do YOU feel about us being a couple?" He's testing the waters with you for that thought.

He's an odd boy. :) On one hand he says very bold things. On the other hand he seems a bit clueless. He is like the soldier who knows how to use a hand grenade, and then he just sits there and stares at the thing after he pulls a trigger.

He obviously likes you and obviously wants to date you, and I gave you some lines to help pull in the fish on your reel. :) Happy fly fishing. :)
bang on sereneone (you should re-name yourself the greatone!). odd boy =most definitely. mixed messages all the time. one day the superflirt, next day like he feels he did/showed too much and retreats by ignoring me.
love the hand grenade analogy.
 

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bang on sereneone (you should re-name yourself the greatone!). odd boy =most definitely. mixed messages all the time. one day the superflirt, next day like he feels he did/showed too much and retreats by ignoring me.
love the hand grenade analogy.
Wow, that's a pretty big compliment tragicgal, thank you. :) I guess being an INTJ makes me well suited to doing relationship coaching, and I kind of like it. Another user contacted me privately to comment on a situation, and I found myself more or less immediately understanding the dynamics there.
 
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I am currently in a fresh relationship with an ISFP and he of course showed many signs. (Mines rather introverted. Not shy. Just introverted.) He was never aggressive about it and he waited for me to reciprocate his feelings. We flirted, spent most of our time together, watched movies and played games. It wasn't until one night that he was a bit down because he was feeling a bit lonely, considering he is a bit of a romantic (a cheesy one at that) I conjured up my best attempt at romance and slyly told him that I would like to be there for him. Hook, line, and sinker.

I see a common theme that they'll give one or two really obvious hints and then wait for your reaction without directly telling you they're interested. Then if feelings aren't reciprocated, they'll back out rather disheartened. I think he will appreciate an attempt to win his interest again so long as you step a bit out of your comfort zone and make an effort to know you're interested in him as well. They tend to be very patient.
 
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Discussion Starter #18
I am currently in a fresh relationship with an ISFP and he of course showed many signs. (Mines rather introverted. Not shy. Just introverted.) He was never aggressive about it and he waited for me to reciprocate his feelings.

I see a common theme that they'll give one or two really obvious hints and then wait for your reaction without directly telling you they're interested. Then if feelings aren't reciprocated, they'll back out rather disheartened. I think he will appreciate an attempt to win his interest again so long as you step a bit out of your comfort zone and make an effort to know you're interested in him as well. They tend to be very patient.
juggernaut: thanks for your post. it makes a lot of sense and i can relate to it. i see, so they're basically waiting for a strong reciporcal sign (probably wishing for "i like you" just as i would wish it). based on your experience i can see the areas where i may have shot myself in the foot with my isfp. you are absolutely correct on them being the patient sort. i hope that i don't screw it up a second time seeing that he's beginning to show the interest strong again.
i think where i'm messing up is that i'm petrified of rejection (put myself out there too many times with other guys and heart got smashed thinking i read the guy correctly only to be led on).
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I conjured up my best attempt at romance and slyly told him that I would like to be there for him. Hook, line, and sinker.
to add to this: i tried it. my isfp was feeling down and out and i said i'm there for him but he shyed away from it. i get the feeling he doesn't want to 'burden' people with his issues.
 

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to add to this: i tried it. my isfp was feeling down and out and i said i'm there for him but he shyed away from it. i get the feeling he doesn't want to 'burden' people with his issues.
I think you just have to be patient here. Don't lose hope yet! I am also afraid of rejection, but sometimes you just have to take that step even when you're unsure. I get the feeling he's a good guy, and if worse comes to worse, he'll politely decline and things will move on. Either way, you'll be okay. It's up to you if you want to keep pursuing him.
 
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